Family holiday - fed up already and not even got there yet!

Ideally you should have both taken the morning off work. Saying you've wfh and organised the cases etc doesn't give credulence to your role. Hey I wfh so can do all the arrangements, but DP doesn't so can't do these things.

Sure you will have, but getting everything ready prior and on the day last minute stuff is quick and easy to do.

Preparing for holidays is stressful, me and DH know this and whatever we say during this time we draw a line and move on to enjoy it. 😉

Or put him off at the next stop and going with the kids

But this man has done nothing but to help with preparations. You’re practically excusing this man’s bullying behaviour. Imagine asking a child (or anyone) what they’d like for dinner and then ordering something else.

A glass of wine isn’t going to solve this.

I’m astounded at how many men don’t pack for themselves, I’d never pack for my hubby, he’s not a child (ok sometimes). He’s worked away ever since I’ve known him, he has it down to a T. Some men are still little boys, I don’t blame you for taking the kids on your own previously, so much less stress. It’s like having another child to deal with 🤷‍♀️

You’re not helpless and you have agency. Try to act like it, if not for yourself, do it for your DS.

Genuine question: why are you allowing him to treat you and your kids this way?

I’d be saying to him, if he isn’t happy on the holiday with your to FO home and leave you and the kids to enjoy yourselves.

This @Stressedmumma88

Sad - but true😔

LTB. Not joking!

When he said you had done nothing, did you list all the numerous things you had managed to get done alongside working a half day? When he had only done two things? What did he say?

Is he usually like this? Or is it just when travelling? If this is his normal MO then I cannot for the life of me understand why you are with him. He sounds absolutely awful.

As an aside, I have never packed for DH but he always talks his packing through with me as if expecting my input. It used to really annoy me - why on earth did I pack for myself and the kids and organise the dog and then have to help him too? However, I realised (having listened to a talk) that it was part of how he processes - nowt to do with me and he didnt really need my help/input. It has transformed the run up to holidays for me.

So he ordered your five year old a meal that they didn't like on purpose after they had said what they wanted? Is he just being stupid or is he being actively mean and horrible to his child?

He sounds like a truly awful husband and father and, when you return from holiday, you should probably make plans to split up. He brings nothing positive to your life but behaves like a massive dickhead.

By packing for him you are enabling his manchild-ness. im married 13 years. We go away a lot with 3 children, and he travels with work. I have never ever packed for him. He’s a grown man.

I'm afraid this would be my last trip with him. Why are you packing his case for him and allowing him to speak to you like this? You don't need to answer that but it may be good to use some time to think about that.

If your daughter's boyfriend spoke to her like this would you suggest she just goes on as normal? Never accept for yourself what you'd not accept for your dc and/or be aghast if your dc treated their partner that way.

I'd let dh know any more nonsense and he will be needing new accommodation on the trip.

Sorry OP, I know this doesn't help you at all but

I REALLY DON'T MISS THIS!

I used to travel with my 2 then primary aged children all over the world for up to a month in the summer holidays. Their dad used to stay at home, or would join us for up to a fortnight.

Travelling without him were some of our family best times, without his grumping and indecision and faff and selfishness. They got to say what they wanted in their holidays and if it was a day at the water park, it was a day at the water park.

Travelling to/from airport was a breeze. Packing was a breeze. Organising was a breeze.

My advice to you is to leave him at home next time. Leave him faffing with HIVE as much as he wants to.

What does he actually bring to the marriage OP? He sounds dreadful!

Seriously wtf is this? Why is ordering food that’s the opposite of what your 5 yr old wants. The rest sounds like he’s a miserable arse but this goes beyond that.

I can't imagine doing a half day before travelling abroad. That would max the stress

Sorry but your DH is a total shit. 'Its a control thing' is an understatement.
And for the love of god why do grown women pack suitcases for grown men?
Never in my life packed for my DH.

My DH always without fail finds something to be a total arse about before we go on holiday, it’s stress and how it manifests itself for him. Then he trots off all fine leaving a chaotic stress bomb in his wake. But he’s good after that. So I just ignore it now.

yours sounds a dick.

Did you ask him why he had ordered something different to eat for your DC??

He sounds like another man child who had to do 2 jobs more than he wanted to. Personally I'd spend the holiday making notes on my phone whenever he is a dick, making notes about what you did for holiday prep compared to him and present him with it when you get home.

Sounds like he's like this all the time so you'd easily forget what he did 7 days ago.

He's projecting.

I'd have a serious chat about standards of behaviour now and nip this in the bud.

I would be unhappy if my partner was taking their work laptop on a family holiday too.

It doesn’t sound as though you like him very much these days, OP? You do realise divorce is a thing?

Edited to add - getting the train rather than driving/taxi seems an odd choice too..

how on earth do you put up with this? I couldn’t bear it. Doesn’t he have any self awareness at all?

@Hsnnahh2 well lucky you to have a job that permits you to just shut off for a whole week/fortnight. A lot of us don’t. No one covers my work when I’m away - and before you say “complain to your manager” - my manager is overseas and has only spoken to me twice this year. She’s not interested in helping me, and there’s no money to hire anyone to cover my job (which is wfh and otherwise a good fit with my life).

He sounds like a total prick