AIBU to lie about my holiday plans?

Agree

I don’t care where anyone else goes on holiday and wouldn’t be jealous of anywhere they go. I doubt people care about your holidays as much as you think they do?

I don't really understand this. I've never come across anyone reacting negatively to someone's exotic holiday plans. I did see someone asked to prepare a PowerPoint deck about their holiday once, as everyone was so interested 🤣 - now that would be a good reason to lie.

I think most people understand that they could also go wherever, if they prioritised it/saved for long enough/put it on a credit card. The only reactions I've seen are mild boredom or genuine interest.

If they're asking the question, I don't see what's wrong with giving a truthful answer. It's not bragging if they've asked. Obviously you don't have to immediately grab your phone and show photos of the stunning hotel, or list the activities you're going to be doing - let them lead the conversation. Say you're interested in visiting lots of different places, and let them ask questions if they want to.

They ask, you respond, and then say what about you, any fun plans coming up?

It's just a conversation. I don't get why you'd want to lie.

I think you’re massively overthinking this. Plus telling a lie about it when your DH is open and your child states where you’re going just makes you look foolish? Nobody cares as much as you think they do, and if they do comment? Who cares? It’s your money, your choice how you spend it.

How strange, never encountered anyone judgey about it...unless its a country with poor human rights or hints of sex tourism.

I think a lot of people wouldn't want to go to lots of far flung destinations because of travel discomfort, heat etc..

I think you might be making too much of this OP..or have been very unlucky with friends and colleagues

Totally get this op - have similar with work colleague - I’m just vague now. I like the comment from pp - you are entitled to privacy.,

I'd be disappointed if you lied about it, I genuinely love hearing about people's adventures!

I met a couple on holiday in Kenya once. They were street traders and they told everyone they were going to Tenerife every year.
They said it wasn't worth the slagging off

A few people have commented to me recently that we go on a lot of holidays. And it has made me feel mildly defensive, because actually I think there are plenty of people we know who go on a similar number. But I don't think there is any implied criticism or judgement really so it is silly of me to be defensive.

Also, I have a theory that the reason people think we go on more holidays than others is that our holidays tend to be slightly more unusual than others. Not necessarily more expensive or futher away, just not the typical set among a lot of the people know. So I think they notice them more and so feel like there are more. But of course I can't say "no we don't go on more holidays we just go on more unusual holidays" because that would sound weird or like showing off.

Anyway, I'm probably over thinking things too!

You're entitled to privacy and to protect yourself from negativity. Maybe don't tell your kid where you're going - no other option there. Your partner just needs to see your viewpoint and stop blabbing!

I agree with you. I find it depressing too.. Air travel is a huge contributor to greenhouse gases and therefore climate change. DH refuses to fly now for this reason. People are in denial, or think that paying someone to plant a tree will offset their holiday. It won't.

How can you lie about it if your DH and DC tell the truth? You'll get into a right old state. Just tell a version of the truth ( don't have to mention the 5 star hotels) , say "I've always wanted to go there" and then change the subject.

in my experience this is just filler conversation, like..ooh nice weather today isn’t it? No one really cares as much as you think about where you are going. Briefly tell them and then move the conversation on, ask them some questions about themselves or their plans. I think you’re assuming they will care more than they do.

I went to a few far-flung places when I was younger, so I’m not going to be jealous, even though I usually holiday in the UK these days.

I do secretly judge people who fly a lot though. My family and I have cut down massively for environmental reasons, so it’s depressing to see the social media posts from those who fly three times a year and don’t give a shit.

Your circle sounds odd if they're that invested in your holidays. I go on pretty nice trips and have never had a peep from friends.

I work in a school. Everyone asks about holiday plans.

If you're lying whilst your husband and child are merrily telling all and sundry your plans, you're the one that will look odd!

I haven’t got a pot to piss in and I work with millionaires who have fabulous holidays. Yes I’m a bit jealous but ultimately couldn’t care less. I’m more bothered whether they conduct themselves as privileged wankers with no self awareness or whether they’re just decent people who happen to have money. I’m sure if you’re the latter, honesty is always the best policy.

I’m with your DH. I just tell people the truth. We love to travel and don’t spend loads on other things so that we can afford these trips.
If one colleague just wants to go to Weymouth every year and another to Disneyland Paris then why shouldn’t I go wherever I want to.
Let them gossip about where the money comes from for these trips if they want to, but I don’t care.

I honestly don't understand why you'd worry about sharing holiday plans. You don't have to say 'i'm going to 5* resort in Thailand this year flying first class'. Many people love and prioritise travel regardless of income. We could have afforded a much more expensive home, for example, but chose not to so we could continue to go on holidays to far flung destinations without any worry. Personally having grown up poor, I still travel on a budget so we go to amazing places but stay in regular airbnbs etc. so I would never assume someone is well off based on their holiday destinations. I'd just assume they're adventurous! My boss hates travelling and always stays in the UK and goes camping but I know he earns more than I do!

If it makes your life easier then just lie. It's not going to harm them in any way.

Just stop lying -you are teaching your child it's okay to lie and it isn't.

Just tell it as it is. If others don’t like it so be it. You should never be ashamed of what you have worked for or how you choose to spend it.

I'm surprised this still garners that much interest. There was a time in the not too distant past when going to Japan, Malaysia or even Thailand would've been considered incredibly exotic and the preserve of the rich and famous (or possibly backpackers!). But even in my relatively modest circle most people have holidayed outside of Europe at some point, and probably more than once.

I think you are overthinking and people are just making conversation.