AIBU to lie about my holiday plans?

Tell people the truth! I am interested in the exotic places people go. I might not be able to afford it this year but I am interested. A lot of people are just too lazy to go further a field or would rather put the money in their already huge pension. Don’t give them a second thought.

This really shouldn’t have so much of your energy wasted on it.

“The people who care don’t matter and the people that matter don’t care.”

Say what you like - I’d probably tailor it to the person asking so if they don’t know their Bognor from their Bodrum id say “Asia” otherwise just you could just say Malaysia for the x island or food tour or whatever takes your fancy

have a brill time. I’d be one of those annoying people asking for advice or your top tips on each destination for my own planning! Haha

You are overthinking things. People just don’t care that much.

Gosh my first thought was there’s some serious overthinking here. I don’t think people are that bothered and those that are, well you can’t solve that. I think most people might fleetingly say ‘how lovely’ or ‘we’re just doing a couple of days here and there this summer’ but don’t really fully think about it much more than that.

state the facts and don't be a pompous ar5e presuming others will be jealous. If they are that's on them.
Alternatively move somewhere where you are surrounded by equally wealthy people (Monaco?) then when you say Malaysia, they can look down on you ;)

My life rule is that it's a good idea to keep your personal life, plans and anything that gathers attention, and could attract jealousy, to myself. You don't have to lie, but you can generalise the truth.

"We'll probably relax somewhere warm"
"We haven't really finished planning anything yet"
"We're thinking about going somewhere warm"
"We just plan on relaxing and getting some sleep in" (you don't have to specify where)

I cant imagine someone giving that sort of response tbh, how strange.

Although I think it's sometimes wise to keep things on the DL, my old workplace everyone was a bit of a sheep when it came to holidays (me included). In 2015 every single one of our department went to Muscat for a winter break because one person would say they've booked it and how nice it looks etc etc ha🐑🐑

That's very unfortunate. I'm not interested in travel for reasons already shared by others so am mildly bored when people discuss holidays, are you sure that's not what you're experiencing? If it's jealously, then dontclet it get you down, that's a 'them' problem!

This! I love hearing about people's holidays even if its somewhere I cant afford to go to!

I get it. People were well weird with me when I took my first fancy holiday. Like sorry I’m not stuck on the council estate anymore, let me fucking live.

To be fair though, most of our holidays are still a little chavy but I think that’s in my DNA.

Lying is weird, you'll get found out, and also it's patronising, if you're doing it because you think others will be jealous because they can't afford it. Would you lie about your house, your car, your job, kids' school? People will know your lifestyle level anyway unless you are very reclusive or miserly.

@itsalltoplayforme too. I’ve got a bargain 10 days in Vietnam coming up that I have completely planned and booked myself travelling solo as I usually do but I’m also planning a slightly more expensive trip to South Africa in February and the comments I’ve had even from my own children about spending their inheritance… No, it’s not darlings, it is my money 🤣
I don’t care though I live my life for me!

I don't think I've ever once commented to someone about where someone else is going on holiday.
If someone said that they were going to the Maldives or something I'd say ooh that sounds nice and then it would never once cross my mind. The only way I'd say something else would be if I'd already been or was planning to go.
You're over estimating how much someone else cares about your holiday

Sod it. You enjoy those holidays and it’s up to them where they spend their hard earned!
I struggle because I have a work colleague and friend who has not had a holiday for years however none of us can work out why and how she can’t afford to because we all know what each other must earn and each other’s circumstances having worked together for a very long time in a close way
It’s all about choices in a lot of cases

I've never come across anyone reacting negatively to .... exotic holiday plans.
Well, I have! Usually in the "oooh, get you" manner. I choose carefully what I say and to whom. Our NDN either haven't heard of the country or can't fathom why anyone would go there. I don't lie about it but if they ask where we're going I keep it simple. I don't assume they're jealous. We're just different in our experiences and tastes. Now, if someone is genuinely interested in travel I'm happy to share stories.

I get it OP and have experienced the same. It's baffling.

Just don't tell people, it seems easier that way.

I'm with you! I always tell people i can't afford a holiday in this country!

I don't think you are being unreasonable OP and in your shoes I'd lie too. I also hate the holiday question, but for the opposite reason. We don't really do holidays. We can't afford to because we are supporting disabled family members. I don't really care, because I travelled extensively with my job as did my DH, but while I'm more than happy to hear all about other people's trips, I can't bear the pitying looks when I'm forced into admitting that no, we aren't going away again this year. So much so that I do sometimes lie and say that we either have been away or are going away and enthuse at length about some of the countries I've already been seen.. In truth, even if we could afford to travel now, it still wouldn't be a high priority. I much prefer it when I travel for a defined business purpose and someone else picks up the tab!

If I learned anything from lurking on those “how much did your holiday cost” threads, it’s that holidays to far flung places aren’t necessarily more expensive than far less exotic-sounding trips.

I don’t judge people who go to exotic places, but I am far more likely to ask questions about somewhere I haven’t been myself. I like hearing about travels to places I’ve not visited. I don’t think you need to feel so self conscious about this. People are just more curious about the unfamiliar.

I agree! I’ve got no interest in going to many places for various reasons… I don’t know why the OP assumes people are jealous. I think most aren’t.

Us not travelling would impact tourism in other countries ( tour guides, hotels, restaurants etc). There's flying fruit & veg across the world too. It's not easy. IDK what the answer is, apart from hope for planes powered by something other than fossil fuels!

Believe it or not, not everyone actually wants to go to these far flung places even if they can afford them. A lot of people will say "oh how nice" while thinking "God, a 12 hour flight - no thanks!".

Just be honest and don't assume everyone is jealous.

If you lied about it and then I found out you were actually off to an exotic location, I'd a) assume you lie about other things, B) assume you don't want to be friends because if you don't want to open up about such a generic thing I'd assume you don't want to open up about anything else, and C) just find it weird.

Tbh I don't care where anyone is going on holiday. I love our holidays and wouldn't be jealous. I also assume most people don't actually care about my holidays.

How much of that is leisure travel and how much is business, though?
Flying somewhere on business is often still seen as a perk these days. Especially if you stay over for a short holiday at the end of your trip and spouse flies out to join you.

Yanbu. Some people I knew could be very judgmental and would happily gossip about my trips away. You’ll have to speak to your husband and explain you get blowback about trips away. It’s more difficult with your son. You could say that people have been mean or jealous and you’d rather he didn’t talk about holidays in school.