AIBU to ask what to do after accusation against my daughter?

I hope that you and your daughter are both okay, this sounds like a horrible situation. It’s helpful that you now know the allegation, and you that know it is ridiculous. I hope you get a positive resolution on this very soon

I organise trips for a UK sports club

If someone was reported our Welfare team would have to investigate. Take statements from all involved etc.

It would only be reported to the Police and/or social services if a safeguarding matters but they would still investigate in the usual way

I'm assuming the other parents have phoned the organisers and the organisers have contacted you to gather facts? If not ask the organisers their investigation process and who their welfare officer is.

Above based on UK.

I hope you get to the bottom of what happened @Dithercats

A different situation, as my dd did do what she was accused of, but that was because she found out her supposed friends had been the ones spreading malicious rumours about her. What she did wasn't right, she slapped the one who she thought was her best friend, and she knew that, but she had been so hurt by what she found out.

When my son was in school he was accused of a hate crime ( he asked a trans child if they were a he or a she now and it took offence). The school advised me that they could
resolve the matter by him
having words of
advice from a PCSO.
I flatly refused on the basis it would be in his police records and disclosable on an enhanced DBS check.
Wait and see what is reported and don’t rush to comply with any requests for interviews/ words of advice.

Yes I was accused of bullying when I was about 7 years old. Had a falling out with a girl I had been friends with because she kept copying my work, and just being a bit of a limpet, and I was worried about us both getting in trouble, if they thought I had copied her. I told her to leave me alone in the playground, then she kicked me and I kicked her back. She went off crying to the dinner ladies who had seen what happened, and they told her she had had a taste of her own medicine. Her mum didn't like this much and accused me of bullying. My parents were called in, I gave my version of events and the school believed me (given it would have been also totally out of character).

It turned out that the mum was jealous of me because I had been given the main part in a school play, was several grades ahead of her daughter in dance (as I started two years earlier!) and had likely been pouring bile into her daughter's ear. Poor girl, she probably had an unpleasant home life, but it was very upsetting to me at the time to know that a grown adult despises you so much for precisely nothing.

So I wouldn't necessarily believe all you hear and jump to conclusions, given your DD's track record.

It must be a serious allegation for the Police and social services to be involved! I can understand how frustrating it is for you that the club can’t give you more information but I’d guess they won’t in case it allows your DD to pre think her responses to any questions. All you can do is wait for the police to contact you hopefully that won’t be long. Have right way given you ann incident/ case number from the police? That you could chase it up?

If the victim has a Social Worker, especially if she is a Child In Care, and reports a physical injury that has left marks, then the carers may be under an obligation to report the incident to social care and police. These reports are more about safeguarding the victim than anything else, rather than seeking to criminalise another child.

In your position I would ask for the police incident number from PGL (or whoever), then phone 101 quoting the incident number and request an update.

Or just wait. They'll contact you and at that point explain more about what's happened. The provider can't because its a police investigation.

Wait until you find out the finer details. It sounds like you know that this isn’t your child’s normal behaviour to be a bully.
I recall being accused by a liar in school too, she said that I pushed her, there was a verbal tiff with neutral witnesses.
When the truth is in your side don’t deviate from the truth, it is usually okay.
Some people lie.
I would be tempted to contact a solicitor when you get more details, if you can afford too.

I would be demanding as much information as possible from the provider and making sure they are not going around making baseless accusations.

The provider isn't making accusations. The other girl is. But it's a safeguarding issue so they are obliged to report it.

If it's PGL, DDs went once and the other kids there can be quite vulnerable, from looked after situations and broken homes. Bit of an eye opener for DDs and they had a good time overall but just something to know.

This is actually not rare sadly. Accusations can be made as a cry for help and they may not be towards the right person. So hopefully the child will get some help anyway.
what a horrible time to go through though. I hope you at least get the full picture soon. It feels very wrong to be told there has been a serious accusation but not what it is.

Something similar (accusation of sexual assault) happened to my friend's daughter. The daughter is the gentlest, sweetest girl, it was a shock to everyone involved that the finger was pointed at her. The police called her and every other person at the event to come in for interviews. They took statements. Nothing came of it, the whole thing was dropped (police never notified them, time just passed).

Two years later the same girl made the same accusation against another girl. Same outcome, also dropped.

Some years later (they'd all graduated from university by then), it emerged that the girl in question was being routinely sexually abused at home. Bit of a jump now, to your case, but the point is your daughter may not be the main character in this story much as it will feel to you right now that it is. Bide your time, follow the process, see where it leads you.

Well either they are blaming the wrong child or one of them are liying or your child is not the angel you think she is.

You may find the injured child is the person who has made the complaint. It seems most likely if your daughter has mentioned that as the only person injured. It doesn’t mean your daughter has done anything wrong but this needs further investigation. If it’s serious enough for the provision to have contacted police and social services then they can surely tell you what the accusation is?

Have you spoken to the people running the scheme? They should tell you something of any has happened surely?

So she fell out of bed AND off the ladder? Ask your DD how that happened. Ask her if she was close by the girl when those incidents happened?

Also, was there anyone on the trip who could be the victim of hate crime? Someone LGBTQ, from an ethnic minority or disabled? Has she made comments that are illegal in that sense? (Especially trans issues as we know some people are very vocal in this area?)

Just hold your DDs hand through this. If there is nothing to it, then it will blow over. If she has something to learn, let her learn it but also protect her.

Police phoned me regarding my DS when he was 11. It involved a stupid comment on WhatsApp (the person he referred to had left a group and DS made a derogatory comment about him so the original child did not even see the comment but it was shown to that child's parents). It wasn't nice but police involvement was silly. They phoned me and sounded quite embarrassed, asked if I wanted them to speak to DS. I said no as school had already dealt with it quite severely and I supported school sanctions even though I thought it was a bit extreme. Police were fine not to speak to DS directly.

So, yes, people can overreact with police. DS has never been in any of that kind of trouble again. He learnt his lesson but I only told him about the police involvement several years later!

I would wonder if there has been an mix up and they have the wrong child.

I’d be surprised if something to this level happened and your daughter didn’t hear about it if it was another child as teens do talk. Have you asked her about any incidents that occurred?

You’ll have to wait until authorities get involved and hope that she engages.

What has your DD said? Does she recognise the name of the other child?

I would wait until you’re contacted and not agree to any „voluntary“ interviews or any such thing without a solicitor present.