To leave holiday early even if it will upset my dd?

OP, I know he is 18 but I would ring and speak to the medics yourself if you can. I'm not sure how it works but does he have a regular diabetic team that he sees, that know him a bit more personally than the general hospital?
It is worth reaching out to them and letting them know what has happened and also about his mental health etc.
It may give you a piece of mind that they have a fuller picture of things.
I get that DD is seeing it as he's done it for attention but if it was an attempt of his own life then that does change things massively.

Can you call the ward he is on and get a clearer picture of what is happening and what his state of mind is before deciding

Maybe this tough love the world goes on approach from dad will be the wake up call for him to actually manage his medical condition.

There will be plenty of times in his life where he will be alone without someone to spot him turning funny and he needs to learn to not put himself in those situations with his choices.

Yes he's put himself in a very dangerous position. It's a difficult thing for a teenager to deal with. But those who are berating posters for not understanding T1 and calling the DD spoilt and selfish could also do with taking in the posts from siblings of a child who needs/needed a lot of attention. Recognising that whatever happens you will come second. Knowing that even if your mum does make 1-1 time with you her attention isn't fully on you, that there is always something else in the back of her mind.

if it is deliberate then it’s a bigger problem than just being unwell and getting DKA!
it means that he has mental health issues and is using diabetes as a form of self harm, it’s been asked already a few times but would people be a bit more sympathetic if he had deliberately cut him self or overdosed?

He binged on sweets, that doesn't mean he tried to take his own life. Him not having a MH assessment strongly suggests that it wasn't an attempt to take his life. At 18, I'm sure he could figure out a more effective way to take his life if that was his aim. It sounds more like impulsive indulgence when he was feeling a bit low.

Maybe there’s a whole load of stuff going on in his head, maybe he also knows he could have prevented DKA this time and he knows the strain it’s created. Maybe that’s why he can’t face talking to his mum, he will be faced with a second angry/worried/stressed parent. He might feel ashamed at how he has handled this.
everyone is so quick to paint a picture of a horrible selfish boy manipulating his whole family.
I don’t think the OP came here for everyone to slate her and her son and how her family live. What is wrong with people?

Eating sweets doesn't cause a medical emergency in people without T1D.

This adult knows eating sweets could kill him and still he did it. That makes it deliberate.

STFU YOURSELF THEN.

No, it's not his own fault that eating SWEETS caused a serious medical emergency where he could have died!

If you're feeling low and you reach for the chocolate or the cookie tin, would that put you in a life threatening medical emergency?

No?

STFU then.

I vote stay.
You can't do anything really. He's getting treatment and he has his father with him. Enjoy this time with your daughter and granddaughter as best you can.
As the sister of an unwell younger siblings who always seemed to have something whenever mum spent any time with me at all, I can tell you that even if it doesn't damage your relationship with your daughter, if you go home now it will definitely damage their relationship.

Stay. You saying he's the only one you worry about speaks volumes. You could say I have no need to worry about my eldest, done amazing in education, perfect health, never been in trouble other than minor words about the state of his bedroom. I do worry for him, I know that he has had to come second to his siblings in situations were they've needed me more as they're SEN and I know those kind of children often be the well behaved child they need to be but often suffer in silence. I think you need to prioritise your DD here.

I just don't know how ill enjoy my holiday now knowing ds is in hospital even if he is with his dad

he is with a capable adult, there wouldn't be anymore you could actually do that wont wait until next week. So for your dads sake keep talk of your ds under wraps and look like you're enjoying the holiday

It must be a massive worry op but he’s in the hospital, there’s no safer place for him and if/when he’s out before you’re back I’m sure his dad will be on top of him looking after him. He’s an adult
now and needs to learn to deal with this stuff, you can’t be there mummying an adult forever.

I am so shocked by this thread, am I missing something? It seems like the overwhelming majority would quite happily ignore their 18 year old attempting to take their own life and dismiss it as manipulative. We have no evidence that he has a long history of this, how do we know the older daughter isn’t being manipulative. I would be curious about an adult caring so little for their younger sibling, why is their word taken as the objective truth here? But I also wouldn’t vilify her with such scant information.

There is no way I would stay on holiday with one of my kids seriously ill in hospital, it’s just completely unthinkable. A cry for help isn’t manipulation, it’s desperation.

I often find myself baffled by the responses on Mumsnet and wonder if my values are wrong, but I’m just horrified by this thread.

He has self inflicted illness twice at least when his sister is receiving attention. And I would hazard a guess that his siblings could produce more examples.

Having a chronic illness doesn't automatically make you a good person. And many people DO have issues with their relatives using their health as a weapon against those that love them.

He is essentially self harming every time he doesn't get what he wants. It's like your boyfriend saying he'll kill himself if you go out with your friends.

Yes he needs mental health support for this as it's no way to behave. But what he doesn't need is for everyone to come running round him and fuck everyone else.

Your daughter has made it clear, she feels you prioritise her brother over her and isn't willing to accept it, you admit you prioritise him.

My dad prioritises my brother. Not in the way you do, he's just the favourite, if he needs help he gets it, I'm told it's just not possible, he makes the effort to see their family, forgets we exist. Haven't seen the bloke in a year, my youngest son wouldn't know who he was.

"Avoid his father's rightful rages?

I can't believe I'm reading this.

Yeah, and my sister had mental ill health and eating disorders throughout most of her teenage years. Follow up by poor choices, not engaging in exams, failing everything.

Unless you've lived with it, you don't know the toll.It has, on the other children in the household that don't have any problems. It does have an impact on the mental health of the other children or young people who live with it even if they are more resilient

Most children or young adults don't make what are essentially suicide attempts, when something happens over a girl or boy, they're dating.

It gets wearing and boring and as the uncomplicated child in the family, you just wish you could have some time without everything being about your sibling.

Op already admitted she doesn't really worry about her other kids. Just him. Don't think they won't have noticed

it being his own fault doesnt change that its a life threatening emergency? It genuinely seems that the two times hes been ill was because significant events happened in his life driving him to make poor choices,rather than being jealous of his sister.

Oh give over.

He’s an adult. He should be able to manage his own illness without expecting mummy to run home every time he can’t be bothered.

You clearly have no idea of the mental toll of type 1.

His 18 though. Op can’t force him into therapy or anything. Only he can make those choices. So her being at his bedside or not doesn’t change anything.

Dad is there if he wants a parent. Doesn’t sound like the son has even contacted op at all even by text. So he doesn’t seem that fussed about her unless he is punishing her with silence for not already racing back.

Are you ususlly this dismissive?
Hes 18 and put himself in a very dangerous situation
I would be very worried about his mental health as well as physicsl health.

Then he shouldn’t mess about, should he?