To leave holiday early even if it will upset my dd?

Oh for fuck’s sake. We’re not talking about a child who was constantly neglected in favour of her sick sibling throughout childhood. She was a twenty year old grown ass woman at uni when he was diagnosed and is now a mother herself. It isn’t a question of ‘poor girl’ at all.

Has no-one on this, at times sickeningly ignorant, thread, stopped to wonder why DS has neglected his condition to the point where he was admitted as an emergency ? He was diagnosed at thirteen - a critical time for his education, and alongside that he had to cope with a serious, life affecting condition. His father has come down on him like a ton of bricks for failing his A levels, and wasn’t even concerned enough to contact OP himself to let her know her son had been admitted to hospital - his younger brother had to do it. Of course OP’s fucking focus is her son - DKA is life threatening, DS clearly has associated MH issues and isn’t coping with his condition. You’d have to be an ice queen not to prioritise that.

Because he isn’t being ignored… he has a hospital team around him and his dad?

DD was an adult away at uni when DS was diagnosed but I didn't ignore her, I was able to focus on ds learning his insulin and supporting him whilst answering dds calls and texts (she didn't really visit in the first few months as it was during covid) and parenting my youngest.

I don't believe he drank too much after granddaughter was born for attention, he was trying to celebrate his birthday just like any other 18 year old would. I doubt he's done it for my attention this time too as he had the opportunity to come on holiday as did my youngest and neither of them wanted to come, they've been away with their dad already so neither fancied it.

I babysit regularly and the reason I was asked to come on this holiday was to babysit one if the nights.

I am worried about his mental health and in case he does similar again if he is suicidal, his dad is working so he'll be on his own and his dad doesn't seem to be concerned and has dismissed me mentioning asking the mental health team to talk to him

Ex isn't currently with him and he doesn't have his phone either, ex said it's in his room

Ignore ??
Attention seeking or not its life threatening
Would you ignore your own child
Who had a medical emergency ?

I just don't know how I’ll enjoy my holiday now knowing ds is in hospital even if he is with his dad. I haven't managed to talk to him yet I don't know if he has his phone with him but he's not replied to me
so you really don’t want to be on holiday with her, your main focus is ds18?
poor girl

A self induced medical emergency, which just happened to be when his mum was giving his sister attention… just like when the gc was born

Ignore ??
Attention seeking or not its life threatening
Would you ignore your own child
Who had a medical emergency ?

What can you honestly do. There are other adults with him. Sounds like attention seeking behaviour to me. Ignore.

DS2 said yesterday afternoon he and his dad had gone to a football match leaving DS1 on his own (DS1 isn't as interested in going) and when they got back he was unwell and he had many empty sweet wrappers in his room that's where the too many sweets came from but then talking to his dad I found out it's more serious than that

When DD had just given birth I didn't just leave her but when I found out he was in hospital I did go to see him. I was at home then dd was at her house with her partner. Then a few days llater I had a conversation with him about being careful when drinking and about who he's with but I still gave dd the help she wanted and needed.

I just don't know how ill enjoy my holiday now knowing ds is in hospital even if he is with his dad. I haven't managed to talk to him yet I don't know if he has his phone with him but he's not replied to me

Ah OP, I am so sorry to hear all that. But from
what you have been told your son has attempted to take his life by not managing his diabetes. This is a serious cry for help. I think your older daughter is being very dismissive of this. I would want to go home too. It’s not like you are there on your own with your daughter. Why can’t they stay and you go home

It’s attention seeking at its finest. I’m assuming it’s because his dad is (rightly) angry he bombed his a levels and destroyed his future. So he eats a load of sweets in order to end up in hospital and his mum rushing back to his side, because she goes easier on him than his dad.

Odd of survival are far higher with diabetes than leukemia.
Genuinely can't see how you're managing to say they are the same.

But I'm really bowing out because I've made my point about being the well sibling and that not being a bed of roses.

She was 19. And how many times on here do people say about how often uni aged offspring need guidance and attention

I’d stay. Your DD is giving you a clear message. You leave now and that tells her she’s right and that relationship will be damaged irrevocably. Your son is safe, being looked after by his father who loves him. He is also 18 and needs to take his own health seriously. My Dd is epileptic so I do understand how you feel to a point but you have 3 children. Not 1. A week building bridges with your Dd and grandchild seems to be important right now.

I have 3 children - DD25 DS18 DS15. Currently away with DD and my 8 month old granddaughter and her partner. the boys are staying with their dad as neither wanted to go

DS18 has T1D which he hates but he's used to it and he usually is responsible but I will admit he was 13 when he was diagnosed and a lot of my time has gone on him and worry tbh, I don't worry about my other 2 as much as they don't give me any reason to worry!!
He doesn't talk about his feelings ever and he ended up failing his A levels which wasn't a huge shock as his attendance was poor

He's been quiet but he when he left to go to his dad's he seemed fine. I had a message from my youngest saying that ds1 had been taken to hospital because he'd messed his blood sugar levels up by eating loads of sweets and he did it over a girl. I messaged their dad because that was a 15 year olds account of things and he pretty much confirmed it and said he's handling it but when I asked if someone from the mental health team is going to talk to him he said no because DS doesn't need it but I think he does if he's done that over a girl.

His dad was quite angry he failed his A levels so i imagine he wouldve been on at him since he went there.

We landed Saturday night so we’re only 2 days in but im worrying about DS and want to go home but DD is furious, she usually gets on with him but she said he always tries to steal the attention like this and said if I leave it proves i care more about him and not her or her other brother or my granddaughter which isnt true. I don’t know how ill enjoy myself though for the next week especially whilst hes still in hospital as his dad said he had DKA and still is quite unwell but arguing with him about wanting him and everyone to leave him alone. I dont know who “everyone” is hes only been staying with his dad and brother

I feel stuck between my 2 children

No, his Dad is with him, he doesn't need you to fuss over him, any more than he needs the MG team involved. He needs the Diabetes nurse to get his levels sorted and help him to understand how to manage his T1D.
I see your DD''s point about his attention seeking behaviour.

No it isn’t. It’s a life threatening condition which can often result in associated mental health conditions. DS is very young and was only diagnosed five years ago. It’s a huge impact on his life to have to deal with at that age.