To leave holiday early even if it will upset my dd?

dka ISNT CAUSED BY EATING SWEETS. GO RESEARCH IT. For god sake.

You do if you eat a shit ton of sweets "over a girl". Nasty piece of work is presumably trying to control her.

what DS is doing is also emotional blackmail.

I agree. It think knowing a T1D personally makes it different.

what a position to be in op. I think I would have to leave as well. Imagine can’t imagine enjoying any part of it being sick with worry over your ds

Same, shit behaviour from him.

Yes I have two other children. I would calmly explain to them that if any of my children were seriously ill (DKA is life threatening and generally involves intensive care) I would prioritise their needs over the one who is healthy and over any holiday. I would also have a frank discussion about emotional blackmail.

I would take the time to explain to them about how dangerous T1D is and that my prioritising the sick child’s needs over the being on holiday with them is about their sibling’s health. I would think about / discuss ways I could make it up to her at a later date.

DKA isn’t caused by eating sweets it is from withholding insulin. Poor episodes of mental health are very dangerous and potentially life threatening to people with T1 diabetes. Especially teenagers. I would want to be there to make sure my son got the mental health support he needed.

I am not separated/divorced but I would not leave this crisis to my husband to handle if I was on holiday with another adult child. I have been the default T1 parent in my son’s life up to now so while my husband would be OK I feel I would be a stronger advocate for my son’s needs.

I have carefully worded this as I what I would do as a T1 parent. The OP has a different family situation to me so I not saying this is what she should do.

However, I do know that most random people on the internet don’t typically know much about T1D, young adults with T1D or the crossover between mental health and T1D but I do. This is why I replied to this post.

That's what op has been told until she actually speaks to her child herself she doesn't know the reason. She's got one part of the story out of two parts. Type one is exhausting constantly thinking about every single tiny decision every single day that with the girl and bad results it's likely pushed him over the edge it's a suicide attempt.
Dka isn't caused by eating sweets it's caused by stopping insulin. It's a suicide attempt and his mental health must be low. Nobody would put themselves into dka just for attention believe me.

Even if he done it on purpose as an emotional manipulation tactic over a girl? His timing is shit.
I would go home to give her a telling off only.

He did it to distract from poor results and seemingly to manipulate a girl. Not worth encouraging the behaviour

Stay!!

You don't go into dka for attention seeking purposes. Believe me. You obviously don't understand type one.

Also I would wonder how he was discovered to be in DKA, dis he eat enough to go into DKA, calmly test his bloods and tell his dad or did he secretly load up on sugar until the point of collapse?

When my son was in denial/rebellion around his diabetes he had two episodes of DKA but both came from weeks/months of running his bloods high/uncontrolled diabetes.

I agree with DD. He's doing it for attention. Don't get sucked in and ruin the holiday for everyone.

I’m really shocked by these responses.
If my 18 year old took an overdose which is effectively what this is, I’d be at the hospital like a shot regardless of whether I thought it was a genuine attempt or some attention seeking.

Please reassure DS by text. I totally understand that you are stuck in a bad situation but you will damage your relationship with DD and her baby, this is her time.
I do the same thing with my DD. I try to balance it out but it can be difficult as she is placid and DS is the opposite x 50. I love him but he sucks the life out of me, he also has health issues so I can’t tell him to fook off. 😅

Is he in DKA or were his ketones elevated? What's his current status?

As a mum of a t1d also I would go home. No way could I relax and enjoy myself knowing my son was in dka. It's to dangerous.
Hope he's better soon x

Stay.

You won’t be able to forget what’s going on but you need to put your game face on for your DD.

He’s with his dad. The other parent.

You admit he’s had more of your time than his siblings. Now is the time to make your DD see that doesn’t mean he’s more important.

If he was home alone id have a different opinion. But he’s not.

I’m shocked your daughter doesn’t want to go with you to the hospital.

My DS has T1D too and recently landed himself in hospital being treated for DKA, I was away at the time but his dad was with him. I stayed where I was and went to him as soon as I got back.

Your son is being looked after and his dad is equally a parent as you are.

I agree he needs to talk to someone if he has done this over a girl, DKA is a life threatening emergency so shouldn't just be brushed off. I would be concerned about him abusing his insulin next time.

my ex husband has had type 1 since 22 years old and sadly frequently used it as a mechanism for attention or when his mental health was poor including withholding taking insulin and loading up on sugar and much more recently (prior to our break up) massive insulin overdoses which obviously required several emergency hospital stays and eventually involvement with mental health team (I begged for some support for him even when separated)which was ongoing for 8 months or so.
i don’t have an answer but I’d stay on holiday. As long as family is around that’s fine. You could phone hospital and request more input from mental health services or speak to his GP (with consent) once you are home.
hopefully in your sons case he is young and at an age where we can all behave recklessly and think we are invincible and most people grow out of these behaviours as they mature. My exh has drug and alcohol dependency so certainly not an example of most !
it’s a big shock to the system type1 . You shouldn’t have to worry about these things at 18 but there are worse illnesses to face of course!
he’s in the right place and may learn his lesson it’s hardly fun being stuck in hospital- also if it is partly for attention you rushing home is not a great idea !
try and enjoy your break xhope he feels better and on the mend soon x

What are you hoping to offer your son by going home? If he has a habit of not talking about his feelings its unlikely he will suddenly start if you’re physically next to him. Call, check in but I wonder if rushing home is to ease your own anxiety?

Your son is being cared for physically in hospital and emotionally by his Dad. It’s unlikely the mental health team will become involved tbh. The GP’s your best bet for entry to mental health services but that can wait until you get back.

Your daughter and grandchild need you just as much. I’d be wary of letting them down.

He’s not attempted to take his life at all. He’s ate too many sweeties, just enough to need medical care and all of attention. I wonder if he has form for this. He’s a grown man and has his other parent with him.

@ChiefArk stay. He is with his dad who can handle things. He doesn't need both parents there.