My “comeback” was equal levels rude?

I think I would have just answered "32, how old are you?"

Agree it needed a comeback but asking her bmi doesn't seem quite the same thing tbh.

Catholics do.

You seem to only have an issue with women serving men if you agree with the woman.

I think shaming is perfectly acceptable in response to shaming. Why should fat shaming be off the table in this context?

The phrase is “a Madonna or a whore”.

But OK “The” Madonna then 🤷‍♀️.

Nobody calls the Virgin Mary just “Madonna”.

Are you talking about my language which was in reference to the post I was quoting or the OP?

I think you really missed the mark there and there were hundreds of ways you could have dealt with that comment firmly without being so insulting. It shows a real lack of social skills. Its hard to believe that now, in the cold light of day, you still believe youre in the right. There's no coming back from that, youve permanently wrecked any relationships you may have had with your bf's family. Id be round there with flowers and an apology if I were you.

I'm sick in bed. Husband is doing my share while I recover. I have no problem with the division of our labour or how our sexes play into that.

You kinda jumped the gun, unfortunately.
You should've given her a chance to drop the misogynistic comment; then comeback with your response.

That’s not what feminism means.

What a non-answer. Again, OP can infer that the aunt thinks she's over the hill, but the aunt has not said that.

Why is that any different?

But op clearly doesn't buy into that...she knows that even if the aunt is trying to imply its shameful to be mid 30's and not Married, the aunt is wrong.

But op (and others on here) think fat shaming is perfectly ok? Thats not ok.

There's a big difference between multiple family members deliberately taking the piss, and one aunt asking a question that even the OP has said "sounded like it came from a genuine place of concern".

You've messed up big time here, assuming they are British

Understand the context.

I never understand why people get offended by someone asking them how old they are.It is literally just how long you have been alive ! Making ageist comments is offensive though but asking how old you are is just asking for information.

Your own words make it clear that you brought your own baggage to the conversation, and the aunt was on the receiving end of the anger you have felt with many other people, not just her. If you hadn't felt sensitive on the subject, the question wouldn't have annoyed you so much.

But unless you look much older than your age and look past child-bearing age, or your partner is much younger than you, I don’t really know why the question worries you so much. It’s not really such an unusual question to ask a younger person. If you really didn’t want to answer you could have said "Why do you want to know?" or "I don’t discuss people's ages" or "young enough to have plenty of time left" rather than deliberately choosing a reply that you knew would be hurtful.

"But boundaries!" is not an excuse for rudeness. It’s not as if she had asked you that question ten times before.

She was perhaps being nosy. You were being plain nasty.

Again it depends on what family you come from.

The elders in my family have been aspirational and generous to us younger generation. The same pretty much goes for the elder generation in my community generally. For that reason, you automatically offer them utmost respect unless they give you real cause not to. Real cause would be like child molesting.

I guess if you come from a shitty background and have been raised in a questionable community by dodgy, immoral people, you'll feel differently.

Ironically it's OP's boyfriend and OP being served by this aunt in her home and having to deal with rudeness in her own home.

Not very feminist is it.

You sound like you have a massive chip on your shoulder and yes, you were incredibly rude. Good on the family for sticking up for this aunt - you should reach out and apologise before you become the ex-girlfriend.

Surely if you wanted a 'bantery' response it's 'you never ask a lady her age' or if you want to make a point you actually make the point, rather than this weird attack?

But why does it matter so much to you what the older generation's opinion of you and your marital situation is?

If she had started a tirade about you being 32 and unmarried, surely you could just tell her that you're perfectly happy with your unmarried state and have no intention of changing it any time soon.

When you're in someone's home and you know that they have different cultural norms or opinions from you it's perfectly possible to deal with them politely but in a way that sets your boundaries. Obviously, if they're raving nazis or racists then that's a different matter.

You were incredibly and unnecessarily rude to a woman who I image you would rather be on good terms with, given that she's your boy friend's aunt.

You're clearly pleased at your 'clever' comeback but you will now have to accept that you've well and truly burnt your bridges with the wider family and very likely with your boyfriend.

It won't make her think twice about her misogynistic questions of course not, she probably doesn't see the question as misogynistic.

It will make her think twice about inviting OP back into her house after she body shamed her, which is way worse. So now OP's whole family thinks she's rude, which she is, and OP won't be invited back to the place where the family gathers.

Silly way to behave.

'A Madonna' isn't really right. For Catholics, there is no such thing as 'a Madonna', there is only one (Mary).

Her DP’s aunt