My “comeback” was equal levels rude?

So, you decided to fight misogynist attitudes by having a dig about another woman's weight?

I don’t know because I get asked my age sometimes. I’ve never felt it rude or anything like that. Sometimes it’s comparing where we’re at in life e.g marriage, having children and peri/menopause and we discuss our experiences. Sometimes they ask for my advice if they’re new to that stage and I’m always happy to pass on information that helped me. However to ask someone’s bmi/weight is really really rude! I’m not surprised that she no longer wants you in her house. It was too far.

Fwiw, I initially wrote the Madonna but it autocorrected to something else. When I went to delete the error, it also deleted "the". I saw it but thought fuck it because nobody will be stupid enough to pick that apart rather than focus on the actual argument they wanted to be a part of.

Look, I was just making a lighthearted joke about the distinction between the singer Madonna and the Madonna concept in the phrase “a Madonna or a whore”.

”The Madonna” is absolutely standard Catholic usage though.

You're the one on here sounding like a pompous weirdo who has absolutely no respect for anyone who doesn't see life from your perspective. In 2026. In the UK even!!! Grow up.

What was the context of the conversation when she asked how old you were?

(32 is nothing so I'm not sure why you felt defensive. It's still very young.)

There were plenty of other ways to shut her down.

Sorry, but you were rude and now look worse than she does.

Acceptable response: none of your business
Unacceptable response: what’s your BMI?

HTH

Yes, they do address her as Madonna, so it's perfectly fine for that person to say 'Madonna' too, without your pedantry.

Citation? They may address her as “Madonna” in prayer but when referred to in the third person in Catholic writings the word Madonna takes the definite article, same as “the Blessed Virgin” etc.

You are, you just agreed with a spag pedant.

It probably would have been better to say so thing like haha you trying to figure out if I'm past my best before and just made it clear that you know what she what she was fishing for rather than jump right in there and call her fat. It's done now though so if you regret it just apologise and say that you regret it.

I was not correcting anyone’s English.

I would’ve said “32. Why?” had she then said something judgey, I would’ve said “gosh, that’s rude “.

That would’ve made you look like the bigger person and put her in the wrong. However, you now look like an incredibly rude person. I’m not sure you can move past that comment.

That applies to you though. The aunt has asked 'How old are you?' and you've inferred that she wants to age shame OP.

Maybe stick to analysing what the aunt has actually said, it would save you a lot of angst.

Ah apologies.

I don’t think it’s that unusual a question to ask someone you don’t know? I mean yeah I wouldn’t ask it in an interview or someone on a train, but someone integrating into your family it’s a pretty normal question.

Why didn’t you just say something like, “May I ask why you are asking that question?” That would have been sufficient to make your point. By making a really rude personal comment to her, you have lost the upper hand.

Yes, if your 30th birthday was coming up, most people might buy you a card with 30 on it. Never heard anyone doing similar for BMI. They're not the same things at all. You age isn't something you can control or change, and everyone (barring the unexpected) will be 32 at some point.
You seem very judgmental of her and her culture, OP.

Argh, no. She was rude but you were way ruder. She basically had a little jab and you've responded with a grenade. If your BF is close to his family he's not going to marry you after that!

The problem is, you're not going to have made her reflect on misogynistic cultural factors, you're not going to have taught her a lesson..... you'll just be known as "that rude cow with no class". I agree with the saying when they go low, you go high.....there were ways you have responded which gave you the moral high ground but instead you've just lit a bonfire under your relationship.

If you're going to corect someone's English, be aware someone will always correct yours too.

You infer a lot. Maybe stick to analysing what someone actually says rather than what you think or hope they’ve said, it would save you a lot of time.

Well, his family don’t agree and now you are unwelcome in the home of the main events organiser. Good move 👀

A context OP has inferred. There is no evidence the aunt meant to age shame OP.

I really do worry about education standards in this country when a perfectly well-known phrase like this just flies over so many people’s heads.

You weren't being unreasonable in sniping back at her, and she is not being unreasonable in banning you from her home. Your next step is to ban her from your home.