My “comeback” was equal levels rude?

I am with you OP.

I assume you knew where the conversation was going and that she was only asking your age because she then was going to express some fake concern about you not being married/having kids or/and criticise you for it.

You have nothing to apologise for.

She should not be asking rude questions and talking about women being 'past it' if she can't take someone putting her back in her place.

I would also ask yourself whether you really want to become part of this family.

Given you did not consent and you have evidence that it was not an emergency , what happened, happened. So what outcome are you now looking to achieve? Sympathy from Mumsnet or forcing a full investigation and action taken against the midwives, or to just have you complaint heard and an written apology , or do you want to sue the hospital and claim compensation?

How is it a false impression?

What you don’t seem to understand is that I don’t buy into those views. People can think them and I’m quite happy to ignore them and share my age if someone asks me. Of course I understand why some people are touchy about age but that doesn’t affect me. It’s mainly misogyny anyway as most mostly happens to women. Men just become silver foxes.

People who are saying "you don't know why she asked" - FFS, sometimes we do correctly "guess" what someone is getting at, even though we can't prove it.

For example, how did the aunt know the OP was being rude, and not just concerned for her health, or admiring her curvaceous figure, or innocently wondering if she can ride all the attractions at a theme park, because she has a spare ticket to Alton Towers she wants to offer her? Because some things are fairly obvious!

But the aunt is getting the benefit of the doubt/family sympathy because it's seen as culturally wrong to embarrass older people, but a younger single woman who has not towed the line is fair game. Aunt could have even said something rude about OP's weight, and she would be expected to suck it up politely.

You: "I genuinely don’t know why people take it so badly."

Also you: "Older people in my culture can sometimes be seen as invalid, not worth listening to."

Also you: "Not disingenuous at all."

I'm intrigued. What did weird Aunt say when you asked what her BMI was ? Did she explode like a giant fat ball?

This made me laugh! Go girl!

Not disingenuous at all. I genuinely don’t know why people take it so badly.

OP, I think a better answer would have been to give your age, bright and breezy, proud to be 32 – nothing wrong with it. If she chooses to judge that as meaning something, let her. And then reply by asking her age. She would have taken that as rude but she wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.

Problem is you are asking on a forum mainly made up of British women who would be mortified if they were overweight and somebody asked them their BMI, to be asked your age is perfectly innocent in our culture. In yours it is insulting and there in lies the difference.

I think it was an awesome come back and good for you, baffling as to why folk think it was ok for Aunt to be rude but not you.

I get it. My dad's side of the family is from Eastern Europe.

At one point, there was talk of arranging a marriage for me (in the '70s), I kid you not. Fortunately, Mum went ballistic: "Any more o that and I'm taking the [joint] passport and taking the bairn home and you can bide here!" I was still at high school.

Then I finished uni and was advised to get myself a Scotsman...I was obviously over the hill at the advanced age of 23.

I think you were both rude to each other but she was the host and you made a bad impression . You need to be the bigger person and apologize and take/send her a bouquet or box of chocs, but I'd go for flowers given your reference to her weight.

. You can also explain after you have made the apology that you were upset at being asked you age out of the blue. But it seems the aunt is calling all the shots here as his family events are held in her home, and you are now unwelcome unless you repair the damage . So build that bridge if you want the relationship you have to work out.

I’m always getting told I need to settle down my the older generation.

And you took it out on the Aunt that was hosting a family gathering?

I am from a Mediterranean culture that can be highly misogynistic and a bit old fashioned especially in regards to women.

What's your boyfriend's take on it all?

My aunt has never married. When anyone asks why she says "Just lucky I guess!"

Tried but failed I’m guessing…

Honestly, why didn’t you just say “my age is my business” without having to resort to a similar, if not increased level of rude?

Ha! Brilliant comeback. I admire you for it.

Don't back down from it.

And also you are definitely not 'past it'!

Is that why you asked me for a citation?

IT WAS A JOKE ABOUT MADONNA.

JESUS.

(Obvs not “the Jesus” of course..)

This is what the spag pedants don't realise, that people can make typos and shouldn't be shamed for them.

I didn’t “indulge in spag pedantry” I made a joke about Madonna (Ciccone) FFS!

She deserved it
Matching energy
Boyfriend s cousin needs to keep snout out

Then you should have spoken up when she said that.

Instead, You assumed a lot in your conversation with her. Asking someone’s age is a normal part of a conversation, asking their BMI is rude.

You should have waited until you actually were insulted to clap back if you wanted any high ground. Instead his aunt has appeared to simply made conversation and you’ve been nasty about her weight.

You have to wait for someone to hit you before you hit back or else you become the attacker

You agreed with a poster who indulged in spag pedantry by indulging your own perceived superiority about your knowledge of 'cultural-specific contextual knowledge. How is that any better?

Yes. That was rude. You could have refused to say, or asked why she needed to know.

I was not correcting anyone’s English. I was pointing out how worrying it was that so many people seem to be unaware of, or unable to use, what is a perfectly well-known and understood turn of phrase. That’s not correcting a person’s language or vocabulary skills, it’s questioning their educational and culturally-specific contextual knowledge.

And this will be my last reply to you, because this is just derailing the thread.