My “comeback” was equal levels rude?

What a shitty response. Why does her opinion on your age matter? Your partner clearly doesn’t think you’re “passed it”.
Not surprised they’re pissed off with you.

You just don't answer, and you don't sink to their level by getting personal- no one is holding your feet to the flames , just don't answer.

Looking on the bright side

You have been barred from her house

You have saved yourself hours of this nonsense spending time with these people

Some women spend years trying to get into this position

Continue living your fabulous life @Rebes

Personally, I think it's magnificent

I’m married and I find it offensive within this context. We all need to call out misogyny at every opportunity, not just when it personally affects us.

Sounds like you were slightly less rude (because you weren't actually trying to decide on her worth as a person) but also a lot less politic since she holds the power in that situation and you are now excluded. But I can totally see why you did it and I hope it has some knock on impact on the family more generally.

And if she questioned you from that point on I would have addressed those questions directly, you were delberatley rude with what you stated as ''I knew..." not what was said

but you won't beleive this you will only people who say what you want them to say to be perfetly honest

The main outcome is you have not gained anything and have lost out for your plain speaking.

She has a power base stronger than yours - insulting her is not in your interest however clumsy she was in how she spoke to you.

IME people don’t mean to be as rude as they sound; ask anyone who has experienced infertility - it’s hard to socialize when you’re ’trying’. When people see you’re not drinking, when you have ‘only’ one child and can’t have another etc. People say very rude things to women. But they are rude to men too. People are rude to red heads, to balding men, to short people.

IME I have always found a diplomatic deflection wins every time.

Wow that was a good one - I'm surprised she knew what you meant!!

I'm married to a Cypriot and yes we had all those questions (and worse!) too when we got together as I'm 10 yrs older but they soon thought I was absolutely wonderful giving birh at 49!😆

But where does inquisitiveness end and rudeness begin? Why, to just take that second half of your post, is it ok for you to say that but nobody says ‘women who are overweight always get this sort of attention. You have to learn to shrug it off or you will seem rude’.

The aunt got as good as she gave imo. The slightly under the radar ‘but it was only a question, I’m just interested’ crap she was dishing out is worse in a way. OP was saying ‘watch out if you’re going to ask personal questions’, sure she was a bit near the knuckle but the aunt needs to woman up if she’s going to start it. I reckon the OP’s take on why she was asking is spot on.

I think you were rude and also YABU to say “step foot”, it’s “set foot”

She was very inquisitive, but you were deliberately rude- i'm not surprised your BF is not pleased.
Women without children always get this sort of attention, you have to learn to shrug it off or you will seem rude.

Oh dear. Quite funny I think but perhaps a tad uneccessary.

If you get offended by someone asking your age then it’s because you are insecure about your age, which is no one else’s problem.
By that logic there's an equal argument that if you get offended by someone asking your BMI then it's because you are insecure about your weight, which is no-one else's problem.

So do the vast majority of people I'd imagine but most of us can have a conversation rather than resorting to deliberate insults.

Age, date of birth, is the way you are identified at our GPs surgery. If you arrive for an appointment you either type in your date of birth or, if the machine is not working, tell the receptionist. Perhaps I should counter by asking the BMI of the receptionist. I am not sure why they use d.o.b. as the magic password, no doubt other people sometimes hear. However, your age is very much part of who you are. Sometimes, shock, horror, people are proud of how old they are.

Asking someone’s age is extremely common. Asking someone’s BMI is horrible. YABVU.

@Rebes yes because male attention is the only thing that keeps a woman’s value and stops her from being “past it” it sounds like you haven’t really escaped the backwards thinking either. Your comment was out of line and I’d reflect on your attitude towards age and what makes someone have value.

I think your reply is hilarious, good for you!
wish I had your confidence in my 30’s!
Just because people are older doesn't mean we have to take every offensive , rude comment from them, respect your elders they say-how about our elders respect us!

My MIL once commented on the size of my feet. (I’ve come to learn body size in general is an issue for her). I asked her how she would feel if I commented on the size of her arse. She was gobsmacked and asked if I thought she had a fat arse. I pointed out I’d merely said how would she feel if I did say that. It’s the one and only time she was speechless and didn’t turn on the waterworks. In fact, I think she went off and made me a cup of tea. It was never mentioned again. (Unheard of.)

I’m not usually great in these circumstances, btw, either saying nothing or literally going nuclear. I look on that little memory with a blend of fondness / satisfaction / pride. A small victory.

I’m now wondering if she spat in that cup of tea.

You’ve fucked up and made yourself look like the villain of the piece because instead of being assertive, you got aggressive. You know why she was asking your age and you’re right, she would have been really rude. But she’s got plausible deniability because you just jumped right in there with a rude reply and now she looks like the wounded party and you will now be thought of as the rude bugger whom nobody likes.

You could make a grovelling apology and hope she forgives you, but she’s going to hate you forever more. Or you can tell your boyfriend that you’re not sorry, you didn’t handle it well but you made your point and he’s just going to have to attend family gatherings without you now. Either way, I wouldn’t be starting your Christmas shopping for him just yet.

Absolutely fucking stupid response from the OP. She's just gone and insulted the matriarch of her partner's family in front of everyone, over a pretty innocuous question. Well done 👏

Surely you could have used intelligent wit, instead of being extremely rude and personal.

Talk about using sledge hammer to crack a nut!! I’m not surprised they don’t want you there.

I am not saying you have to be rude. I am only talking about being confident in yourself and still wanting to disallow an opportunity to someone to discuss something about you be it your age or appearance.