My “comeback” was equal levels rude?

Bloody hell! I’m old school too, and would consider any man that did that not suitable husband material either.

Some people are giving you a hard time on here, OP. The aunt was bloody rude, she knew exactly what she was doing. Good job you've been banned from her house. I might be thinking through if you want to continue your relationship. I would be worried that these horrible misogynistic attitudes had rubbed off onto your partner.

Are some of these replies AI? That response was neither quick witted nor funny. ‘How old are you?’ ‘You’re fat’

Are you Italian? YANBU, tell her to get over herself.

It’s a quick retort. I found it quite funny but I wouldn’t have said it. Well not now at the age of 52! Probably would have done at your age though.

I can understand why you were pissed off though, hearing all that shit and knowing you’re being judged.

It’s done now though, I would apologise but I think you’ll find your BF’s family will just dislike you forever. Find a new one with a less shitty family,

I think MN is the wrong forum to ask this question, OP. Firstly, weight is such a contentious issue on here, and secondly, a lot of posters will not understand the cultural context you are referring to.

As someone from that part of the world myself, I do understand, and well done for standing up for yourself. This aunt was absolutely asking your age so she could launch into some nonsense about you being over the hill, so well done for not standing for it.

I had a similar situation with my great aunt a few years back before I got married, who said that I needed to hurry up and get married so my life could start. She didn’t like it when I retorted that a) my life had already started seeing as I was a woman in her thirties, and b) marrying a man would have actually put me at a higher risk of having my life ended due to domestic violence. She did not appreciate that response.

And if your BF is not prepared to support you on this then maybe you need a much bigger conversation with him?

What exactly did you expect to happen?

I bet you’ve got yourself in knots over this! And undoubtedly you’ve been expected to ‘be kind’ all your life.

Well, good for you. It’s rude to ask someone’s age if they’re over 12, it really is. I bet she’ll think twice before asking someone else.

FWIW I love it!

And yet you want unfettered access to her home.

Does your boyfriend cook or clean for when you all gather there?

Or do you all just use this poor woman for her food and drink?

She can be whatever she likes in her own home. You’re not a feminist heroine for calling her out on it

No she wasn't. She simply wasn't being a wet wipe. Fair play to her.

In your shoes I would be having second thoughts where this kind of rudeness and weirdness reigns supreme.

You were not "equal level" rude, you were unacceptably rude.

"Equal level" rude would have been "I'm 32, how old are you?".

You could have made your point without losing the moral high-gound. You need to apologise.

You were not "equal level" rude, you were unacceptably rude.

"Equal level" rude would have been "I'm 32, how old are you?".

You could have made your point without losing the moral high-gound. You need to apologise.

Well given you are only just getting to know them, you got in a huff about a tone, you went on stuff you’d overheard: I reckon they now have the measure of you. You ARE hotheaded. You barely know these people, you were a guest in their home, and your answer to “how old are you?” was basically “just how fat are YOU?”. I mean, in my house you would have had an uncle getting up and asking you to leave. This woman isn’t answerable for every time you’ve been on the receiving end of judgement. But you didn’t half whip her with your tongue!

No it’s not? I get asked all the time, because I look younger than I am!

It was a crass reply. An ‘equivalent’ would've been asking her how old she was and why it was relevant. You could’ve stayed classy and risen above it but you chose to be rude AF. I wouldn't want you in my house after that either.

No she didn’t!!! I think it’s very rude to ask a person their age unless they’re a child or teenager. Good on you OP, love that come back.

You were really rude disproportionately.

Haha, love your comeback, OP. Yes, you were rude back but I still love it!

Are you sure this is the right family for you to marry into? I know you said it's your culture but there are presumably men out there who have families with more progressive views. And you seem touchy and the sort of person who brings a gun to a snowball fight. Bit of a lethal combination.

This poster is illustrating quite nicely why trying to top trumps someone's rudeness by being even more rude doesn't work. You just end up looking like an angry and unhinged weirdo.

You were awful.

You were incredibly rude and just bloody rude. I don't know why you needed to be so cagey about your age. Just tell her and let her think what she wants.

Then you need to develop strategies to solve this in a way that doesn't make you come over as a massive cunt.