Friend assuming wedding invite despite not inviting me to hers the same year..

Maybe she's assuming she's invited to your evening do too? I would have thought if you're not invited to her hen do, you're not a close friend so just invite her to the evening.

I don't think weddings should be tit for tat. I think they are about whom you'd like to celebrate with.

She has invited the friendship group to the evening do, except one all day. That's absolutely fine and not ostracising anyone. The group is Second Tier in her mind.

You want to invite the friendship group to the entire wedding. That's also fine - to you the group is First Tier.

You can't just invite her to the evening and everyone else to the day, that's petty and downright cruel.
You could make the whole group evening only, but why would you when you'd like them there?

Wedding invitations aren't like Nectar points. You don't earn them by collecting enough loyalty points.

For many years we were extremely close with a couple, went away with them, went out with them at least once a week, stayed at each others houses. They got married and we weren’t invited to any of it, not even an evening invite.
The man in particular kept going on and on about being invited to ours (we eloped) and he was annoyed he wasn’t there. Our relationship cooled after this anyway as it was clear generally we were meant to make lots of effort with them and nothing in return.
20 years later I’m still confused. DH sees him occasionally and he goes on about how we need to go see them (never them go see us even thought they are near to us frequently) they’ve moved 50 miles away.

But do you want to invite this entire group, which sound more important to you than it is to her?

I’m going to be a petty cow and I’d not invite her. I’ve come across these situations before and it almost feels like these people think their event is more important that yours or something like that . Please don’t pass her any apologies or get into any drama with her over it. We had this whole thing with cousins as several of us in the family got married over a short space of time and a particular cousin had no other cousins at the wedding as she had so many friends etc etc but rest of us cousins did invite each other to our wedding’s as we’d all grown up together as children and all got on great despite as adults maybe not seeing each other too much. Anyway the first cousin was highly offended at not being invited to the rest of the weddings.

I’d treat her the same as she has treated you & if anyone questions in, just say you’re watching your spending & it’s reciprocal.

I invite who I want and go to the ones I am invited too, wedding, birthdays any event

I have zero interest is some weird criteria thing of who is allowed to go to what or not, I dont even remember doing that as a child or teenager

So only one out of a friendship group is being invited during the day. Are you the only one out of this group that has not been invited to the hen do?

I'd treat her the same, not invited to the hen do and an evening only invite tbh. That's really cheeky 💐

Why is it obvious that evening guests are excluded from hen dos? In my day hen dos were for all your mates and sometimes family.