To feel fed up about us struggling on DH low salary

Why did you marry someone whose salary and salary potential you're not happy with? Seems counter-productive to marry a "low-earner" when you want a champagne lifestyle.

is this a state school or private and wasn’t there a 2nd hand uniform sale for new parents

Bloody hell I earn £17,000 less than that and somehow manage to run a house all on my own from it. But then I don't surround myself with people earning £100,000 plus and then compare what they have to what I have. You're hard pushed to find anyone on that kind of money round here anyway, and if they do, then they don't flaunt it.

Perhaps a change of mindset/location is in order.

I expect if you listed your income and actual outgoings there would be ways you could save money.

Unbelievable post or is it joke.
OP needs to grow up !!!!!

Your expectations are v high.

We earn more but still couldn't afford extensions or new cars. We live in a terraced house with one 12 year old car and a house that needs work. And both work full time in above average paying jobs (with SEN kids). Yes more money would be nice of course. But we have food on the table, can pay our bills, can enjoy days out and don't have to stress about the essentials.

mine is on 30 odd k a year and we are not well off and are given universal credit top ups monthly after they moved us off of child tax credits few years ago. Its sad, isnt it.

Nothing makes me more depressed than a mumsnet post about salaries

Get a better job or do more hours yourself then. Move to a cheaper area.

Im on 47k and DP 35k. One child home after uni and one child away in uni. We are skint at the end of every month. But bills are paid, there is food in the fridge, the freezer is full and we can afford 1/2 abroad holidays a year. We rent, but rent a property out (it's too small for us). Drive 10 year old cars. Lower your expectations!

Yes, that's outrageous, you should leave him and upgrade.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Its the equivalent of looking at shiny joy filled instagram posts of other people's lives. Scratch beneath the surface maybe and you may find there are other things going on in your head. You say your career plans have been thwarted. Maybe the resentment you feel about that (your allowed to feel whst you feel btw !! ) is contributing to your general feeling of dissatisfaction . And that is ok.

Earn more yourself then.

The south east is a big place. There are plenty of affordable areas to live. OP has obviously picked the most expensive and is now moaning.

We lived in SE for a while due to work. We swiftly decided nope and relocated to NI so we could earn the same but have much better lifestyle as housing is much cheaper

This is wrong. Top of the payscale outside of London is just over £50k; inner London will be 4-6k more. I know this because it’s what I earn and I live outside of London.

We struggled to afford to live in the SE where we were both born and grew up. 9 years ago we moved 5 hours away from our family and now live far more comfortably.

Why are you blaming your DH for this? If you think that you can do better then there should be no reason why you can’t take over as main breadwinner.

Alternatively, you can move somewhere more affordable.

Unless you have a really badly paid job, I'd have thought 30hours a week would mean quite a nice level of existence.
Depends what you prioritise though. If you want a massive car and loads of screens and takeaways and expensive days out then it maybe doesn't go far. A more outdoorsy, old fashioned existence would have you living a lovely life on that amount.
Going on weekend romps through woods is preferable to all the 2020s trappings, in my opinion. The kids always end up happier too, once they've warmed up on the walk! Can be hard dragging them out initially, mind 😆
I certainly wouldn't be whingeing in public about it...

We have three children. Two with additional needs, including one who has both SEN and a chronic illness which causes physical disabilities. However, we both work full-time, with a combined income of £150,000. You and your husband need to try harder.
You can't control your husband so your choices are:
-You work more hours

• You up your game professionally and DH works part time.
• You leave your husband and up your partner game.
• You start mixing with people at your own level.
• You go to therapy and learn to accept your lot.

"I am surrounded by friends whose husbands all earn well in excess of £100,000+ a year."

This is your problem.
If you were surrounded by friends who all earned NMW youd feel rich.

Forget feelings,statistically your household income is above average. Its the comparison with people who earn more that is making you unhappy. Obviously not suggesting you dump all your friends but maybe widen your social circle a bit, or just compare yourselves to those who have far less than you rather than those who have more.

He should’ve pushed his wife instead!!

We live in SE too and each earn more than your husband. But I don’t see my income as “extras”. One of us couldn’t cover the mortgage, 2x nursery fees and the bills alone. We need two incomes. The extras come after essentially and only if we have them. We don’t spend loads of money on holidays, fancy cars or stuff and prioritise our pensions and critical illness insurance.

That is not a little salary. My husband never earned more than 30 to 40K. Ive never earned more than 30K and now less as Im part time. However, we have used some money wisely in the past, to invest in property. We dont have an extravagant lifestyle and only one holiday a year. We have 4 kids. We have nice cars we have bought outright and looked after. So perhaps you just need to be more frugal.

I’m certain it’s a wind up but the OP reminded me of a former colleague who proudly pushed her DH to do evening pub job to supplement his low (40K something) wage.