To feel fed up about us struggling on DH low salary

Same, babe. Wish I’d married a rich guy!

Comparison is the theft of joy. Stop comparing yourself to people who have more £100,000 salaries are not normal. The average salary is only around £32,000 and your DH is earning way more then this.

Maybe get some new friends.

How much do you earn @HumphreysGangand what is your earning potential? If it’s higher than your DH’s then I suggest a role reversal and you go out and earn more. If you don’t have a career and your earning potential is less - I suggest you work on adjusting your expectations.

OP you earn at least £20k on top if you're mw? So that's double the average income £75k plus Many have less.
Where you live will impact your lifestyle.
Your DH you mentioned is top of his payscale so I assume fire service, paramedic etc? If so the pensions are generous. You'll have to wait for that.
My DH has never been a high earner. That was my job. You can role reverse and go back to ft if you can make it work financially. I had a manny and we have a SEN DC.
Comparing yourself with others will make you unhappy. I have two millionaire friends. Tight as ducks bums!
The jobs market is the toughest since 2008. Hang on to what you have is my advice.

Its not a massive salary where you live or with the friends you have to be fair, but you could move a bit further out for more house for your money or you could try to earn more yourself

Is this post made to make all those on NMW feel worse about themselves?

Are you fantasising about a life with a richer man, seeking practical suggestions to improve your household finances, or asking for help in reconciling envy towards your friends?

The answer is to move. What does DH do? Is it a portable job? That’s a wage for a teacher or many lower level professionals and many live on those wages. It’s very much more sensible to move to a cheaper area.

Comparison is the thief of joy, OP.

If you aren't careful you will end up bitter. Happiness isn't about the size of your house or how many holidays you go on - it's a mental attitude. No doubt you have much to be grateful for; find it.

It’s not just about the average salary. Very much depends on where you live.

What was 50k salary 5 years ago really doesn’t go as far now in London / SE anyway. We were doing ok but then “lost” about £600 spare income per month overnight due to the mortgage interest rate increase.

I am surrounded by friends whose husbands all earn well in excess of £100,000+ a year. The difference in lifestyle, including affordability of house size, extensions, cars, holidays, etc. is huge

There's your issue and it's easily remedied. If you must compare yourself to other people, get some friends on NMW and compare yourself to them instead 🤷‍♀️

We also have a child with special needs, we both work but we have jobs that fit around ds. Our household income is almost 10k less than your husband's salary alone and we manage.

Would I like to have more? Yes of course. But we have a good work/life balance, save for things and accept some things are out of reach.

Stop comparing.

That's a decent salary where I live - well above average.

Ask him to take on more of the childcare so that you can increase your own earnings to a level that is acceptable to you.

It's not low - you just have rich friends. My DH earns far less.

What is it you can't afford but envy?

The average UK wage is about 35k

Nice goady thread. Bit bored this morning?

Is there no way that you can contribute more financially? Your emphasis is on husbands' earnings. Why do you differentiate between men and women like this? It's not a man's job to earn more than a woman.

There are many factors which make up whether £56k goes far or not. That salary in the SE will not go as far as for those living in a lower cost area.

You say you work 30 hours but that’s close to full-time hours so what’s your actual salary? Your combined income should be what is for all household expenses and extras.

I don’t think you can really moan about his salary while yours only pays for extra.

My DH only earns similar now, with a small additional income we earn from another stream and we live a very nice lifestyle. Granted I worked FT before quitting to be a SAHM, we both went full force on saving and we paid £200k off the mortgage before I quit so our costs are lower.

I don’t think high 50s plus another income of almost full time is overly low, particularly after nursery cost years.

You clearly mix with high earners. You mention DC with SEN, how many and what ages? If their SEN has prevented you working full time do you not get DLA/PIP for each child?

You’ll get people saying it’s a lot but it doesn’t go far. I earn similar and live on the outskirts of London so I feel you.

No I can’t move as my family and support network are here, I grew up here.

If you think your husband is on such a low salary and that your career progression was thwarted by your children, then why doesn’t he go PT and you go FT and focus on increasing your income to £100k+ like your friends?

Loads of people including myself have a DH who earns less than that. You need to budget better I suspect. Stop comparing your life to others. You don’t know who is in debt or gets help from family.

Maybe you weren’t top tier enough yourself to bag a higher value man?

That’s a good wage. That plus your 30
hours together you’re bringing in a very decent amount.

People earning over 100k is like 1% of the population or less!