To feel fed up about us struggling on DH low salary

You haven't said what he does but that is a top band 7 salary in the NHS which people have worked years towards and is seen as a good salary. Is he a nurse? Is that the issue, most people who earn 100k plus work in the private sector.
If you cant live on that and your salary then you must be trying to keep up with your friends.
And yes, Im in the SE

Why don’t you claim DLA for your kid and get a free Motability car?

Was going to say this…. DLA/PIP is not means tested and could help a little. Has anyone suggested taking ironing in yet?

Why are you talking about your husbands salary and not yours? If you think you could do better why not switch positions and have him work around DC?
How do you know what everyone else's husband is earning? Who even talks about that?

You sound a bit spoilt and shallow OP.
That is not a low salary.
It isn't up to your husband to be the main bread winner. This isn't the 1950s.
If you want a higher income it might be your turn to have a go at earning more..

Maybe your DH could reduce his hours to 30 and you could up yours to find a job that pays more than his currently does?

Have you been away from the UK, OP? You might find this informative: https://www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/earningsandworkinghours/bulletins/annualsurveyofhoursandearnings/2025#main-points-april-2025

TLDR: His salary is over the national average and well over the UK median salary so yes, lots of us will have husbands who earn 'this little' (to use your terminology).

You might have been better asking for suggestions on ways to increase your own earning potential because there will be options available to you.

You can't be doing too badly if your salary is for 'extras'. If you were really struggling your salary would be going on the electricity bill and council tax.

PIP for your DC?. If you can't afford your life then make it less expensive. You could move to a much cheaper area.

Why is it he can increase his salary but you can’t? If he’s at the “top of his pay scale” he presumably does something which only has mid earning potential in the first place. What do you think he should do?

You haven't said what he does for a living but assuming he works hard, maybe commutes, perhaps a bit of overtime, and does his fair share with the home, kids and you, tbh you sound ungrateful.

Id be interested to know how you would feel if the roles were reversed and he was complaining about you on internet

My husband earns less than this I’m and I currently don’t work. We’re not living a life of luxury but we’re just fine and have a nice life and fun days out as a family. We have 1 car, a small house but it’s all we need currently.

Maybe he should leave you and you can live on your salary, I'm assuming you wouldn't say no to his pitiful salary then...

Lol , this 🤣

That is mine and DP’s income combined

Well he’s earning £6,000 a year more than a teacher or nurse at the top of their pay grade with a London weighting (£4000 more than a teacher with inner London weighting). I know they are considered underpaid for the work they do, but it’s a lot more than the mlw and less than your husband earns.
You may have difficult time with a special needs child- dependent on what those special needs are… does your child need 24 hour care? Turning at night? Peg feeding? Disability aids, daily meditation, moving and handling and therapy? Those things do take a lot of time so it’s understandable that you can only do 30 hours paid work- but you will also get benefits and and other for them even though you won’t get carer allowance.

DH earns 40k and we manage. It is tight but we also have a lot of stuff we don’t need (tv subscriptions, eat out a lot ect) so we could cut back and be more comfortable.. but where’s the fun in that 🤣

It's the housing costs. If your mortgage is £2k a month (which it is on say a 400k house/flat over 35 years at current rates) then that is a big chunk.

I'm in the SW and our mortgage is a third of that.

If you have 2 incomes and 1 of them is just used for "extras" then you're doing fine! Excuse me whilst I seethe at you thinking 53k is low 🤔 😏 😳

Perhaps the problem is you keep spending your wage on “extras” when the bills aren’t covered? You would feel a lot better off if you weren’t regularly getting into debt.

@HumphreysGang Having less money means you can’t over consume like your friends do! Think of the planet!!

OP, statistically, a £53k salary puts an individual comfortably in the top 25% of UK earners, well above the national full-time median of around £38k.

Perhaps you can't afford the lifestyle you feel you need and deserve. Cut your cloth, manage your expectations, and perhaps get some new friends.

That’s just nasty. Why can’t anyone ever read between the lines a bit? A lot of the time these men want to be in charge of the household and control everything because they’re the ‘breadwinner’ and they don’t realise that the woman is doing everything at home plus bringing in money and it can feel shit. We don’t know but he might be more than capable
of increasing his income and just wants to coast whilst his wife does everything.

The idea that a woman needs to be ‘top tier’ to have a husband with a big salary is gross btw. And that’s coming from someone who out earns her OH.

Your husband's salary is our total household income 😂

Stop comparing yourself to others. Not sure why you see it as he should be the breadwinner while your money is just for extras.

It's a very old-fashioned attitude to assume that the man should earn more. I've always earned double my husband. Yes I feel the pressure of being the main breadwinner, but as long as we've got enough between us, then what should it matter? If you don't feel you have enough, then you are both responsible for doing something about it. Either you look for a better paid job, or you cut your cloth accordingly to what you've got coming in between you.