To feel fed up about us struggling on DH low salary

You don't earn enough to not get child benefit, so check now if you're not getting it as you are entitled to it.

The DLA is not means tested. We receive it because our child has high needs but even children with lower needs are able to get it. You just have to fill a (very lengthy) form and provide evidence that your child's needs mean you should be entitled to it.

It's not because you're working that no benefits are available to you. A child with SEN is a perfectly acceptable reason to receive help.

None of those are out of work benefits. In any case, these are your child’s benefits not yours so it would be irrelevant. If you aren’t claiming child benefit, that’s bizarre. If your child’s SEN impacts so much on your ability to work they will absolutely be entitled to some level of disability benefit. I’m surprised you don’t know that.

If you can’t survive on an income that must be nearly 5k a month, you need to either cut your cloth accordingly or both get better jobs.

It may not be her greatest moment, but come on. You know there's zillions of people whose propensity for "freeloading cheekyfuckery" is waaaaay closer to gold standard than a working wife with SEN kids who wishes her husband earned more.

Gold standard freeloading cheekyfuckery here love.

Get poorer friends
Seriously
If all your friends are wealthier than you, you will be unhappy. Resentful, envious etc
Regardless of income, people roughly on a par with their friendship group are happier than those at the bottom

I’m getting to the point where I am wondering who on earth earns over £100k? If you look on all the job platforms nationally, very few are in this bracket. And if they are, they are the sort of jobs where you can kiss goodbye to any semblance of work life balance. Ie the other parent is going to have to have a crap job to be around for the kids because the other higher earning parent will mostly be absent/stress out of their minds.

We can’t all have the natural born skillset to enter into investment banking or similar.

I suspect most of your friends have family money and bank of mum and dad helping out. Or you just happen to have a lot of friends who own their own businesses maybe that do very well?

What are the jobs of these well earning husbands?

It’s a national crisis if £56k + the other parent works 30 hours per week and you still can’t afford a good standard of living.

Thing is, there will always be people worse off than ourselves. Doesn't mean we are not allowed to ever feel despondent.

As I said, I'm on this salary. How is DH self esteem? I hope he isn't feeling like he's failing at this level. Must be hard if you only have very wealthy friends.

It's well above average salary. If you are renting, you might get some help with that via universal credit .

You don't say what region you live it, but if he is in a public sector role and you are living in or around London , then I can see why you are struggling as London weighting isn't significantly more. Whereas if you are living in a much cheaper part of the country you should be able to manage better as housing is better value for money.

I guess you need to decide what in life constitutes a happy and fulfilling life, and devise a plan to achieve that whether by changing careers, going for promotions, or moving elsewhere where housing costs care cheaper.

Do you think your dh might be ‘fed up about us struggling on DW low salary and part time work’ when he sees his friends in their bigger houses?

They can only enforce 3 items of logo uniform plus a tie. That's the law from September

OP has not given all the facts. She works 30 hrs a week so even on the minimum wage that's around £20Kpa.

And they ought to get child benefit on top of her income.

Their overall income is more likely £80K+

Christ, I earn less than 15k a year. Single parent with no contribution from DC’s dad so can’t ever imagine struggling on 2 wages when one is that amount 🙃

You’re getting a rough deal here OP. I don’t blame you for feeling frustrated and I imagine it’s very hard getting by on that kind of salary, which is far from excessive despite what some MNers claim. Life is expensive! I hope things pick up for you.

Start hanging out with poorer people, then you won't be so envious.....

Children under 16 get DLA not PIP.

I wish that my life's dream was an extension

How do you think single parents with a SEN child manage?

"Does anyone else have a DH who earns as little as £56,500 salary?"

Yes the majority of the country. The median wage is £31,704

Could have fooled me. I think you need to be more grateful.
my DH earns 28,000 and I’m currently not working at the moment though looking for work. Previously was the breadwinner on slightly over £40,000. We are in the SE (and an expensive part) and have a mortgage too.
We have survived.

That income puts you in the top 15% of UK earners you absolute melon. Did you really post this without looking at ONS first?

Such a weird perspective. You DH out earns you but your mad at his earning potential not your own.

Working 30 hours per week on minimum wage would bring in £19,827.60, obviously more if not on MW. You would be getting CB as well, you don't say how many DC you have but you said plural, so more than one which will be at £44.90 p.w for 2 children, and more if you have more. You possibly get PIP for your child with SEND. Someone earning £100k p.a. will pay more tax and won't be entitled to CB. Your income, even for living in the SE isn't particularly low so perhaps its about looking at your outgoings. Also from September schools are limited in the number of logo items that parents are expected to purchase, which sould also help.https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c20j3zrgzv2o

What is your total take home monthly income?
What are your family's total monthly expenses?
Why is money being spent on 'extras' if costs aren't being covered?
Ptesumably between you you have an income of £70-80K? That should be enough for a comfortable, albeit modest, life for a family.

I would imagine it is nigh on impossible not to transfer this disappointment onto your husband. It will sour your relationship. You should be a team. It's not his sole responsibility to earn enough for all the basics. You will have to cut back/ you need to increase your earning power. Even when we work, we can't always have what we want. Comparison is the thief of joy