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Original poster

I wouldn't reverse

60 replies

whyyyyyisitmonddayy · 24/08/2026 02:30

driving home from work about midnight. meet another car on a country lane I know really well. Woman I meet has her brights on and will not turn them off, despite me flashing her (?). She's coming uphill towards me, meaning it's so bright that my eyes are watering and I can't make out the verges clearly or even my bonnet. I've never experienced this before so I'm a bit discombobulated.

I know that if she reverses a few feet she can go into the passing place and let me go. My nearest passing point is very far back and I can't reverse safely as I've been really badly dazzled. I stop 5m or so in front of her, turn off my lights entirely hoping that it will remind her to switch her brights off, and wait. she does not and starts revving her fucking car!!!!

She's not got her window down and is having a right proper go just shouting at me to drive and waving. just reply that I'm dazzled really badly and can't safely proceed unless she switches off her lights temporarily so I can see into my rear view and past her car (to see if I can squeeze past or reverse back). I also tell her that there's a passing place just to her left, could she go into it please? I just keep asking her to please lower the lights / turn them off so I can get my bearings! but she wouldn't. she's swearing at me at this point despite my calm tone. she screams "move" at me, so I just say "no". at this point I'm seeing splotches and can't see my gear shift anyway, and If I could see around me, I would happily reverse five miles back if only it meant to get away from her.

She eventually turns off her brights, slams on her accelerator, clipping me with her wing mirror, coming very close to hitting me properly, and possibly damaging her car against the verge. she's slamming on the horn and still raving. she's driving a nice car so no clue why the fuck she did that?

OP posts:
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VenusThighTrap · 25/08/2026 18:55

The posters quoting the “give way uphill” rule lack common sense and probably shouldn’t be on the road if they can’t adapt to conditions. No two country lanes are the same, driving them requires give and take.

ErrolTheDragon · 25/08/2026 17:30

whyyyyyisitmonddayy · 25/08/2026 12:42

Wherever possible is the key word in that code.
She was also driving an EV. so no need for clutch control. And what - I should reverse, with restricted vision, all the way back up the lane? Instead of her reversing into the space genuinely on her left…?

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Trickling a car a few yards back down a hill is so much easier than reversing one a long way back up it, I can’t believe people piously quoting rule 155 at you!

WildGarlicSoup · 25/08/2026 13:10

She was driving an SUV so thinks she can do exactly as she wants.

BogRollBOGOF · 25/08/2026 13:04

Some people are just twats. We recently had one half hanging out of a passing place and refusing to shuffle his shiny black BMW 1.5m back into it and forcing DH to reverse back to the next one. We couldn't be arsed to argue the principle with someone so obviously that stupid and incapable of driving. Naturally there was no thank you either.

I once had a needlessly agressive one in an urban area while passing a long string of parked cars. I was on the wrong side so immediately gave way and went into reverse. This would have been far simpler if the stupid bitch hadn't driven up towards my bumper reclaiming the road inch by inch as I reversed. I don't normally have an issue reversing even by night, but her agression was off-putting and made me faffier than usual than if she'd held back. When we were done, DS said that the passenger was making a variety of sweary hand gestures at us.

People like that make life more unpleasant but at least we're not the ones living with them all the time or creating that level of stress and bad feeling for absolutely nothing. They're pathetic.

Jan24680 · 25/08/2026 12:52

in the past I've stopped my engine, put the keys on the dash and started fiddling with the radio. The issue is always resolved in about 2 minutes. On this occasion I'd be tempted to dial 999 and show the other driver.

Original poster
whyyyyyisitmonddayy · 25/08/2026 12:45

powercats · 24/08/2026 17:21

All sounds a bit dramatic. It was her right of way really.
In this situation I would have put the handbrake on, got out of the car and gone to speak to her. No yelling and flashing, just explain without room for misunderstanding.

However, she sounds aggressive and unpleasant so just move on and try to forget about her. She handled it worse than you did.

i’m a slight 22 year old woman. No fucking way I’m getting out my car at midnight to talk to someone who is being aggressive. Until she shouted over to me I had no clue she was a woman!!! What if it had been a man, or someone violent?

OP posts:
Original poster
whyyyyyisitmonddayy · 25/08/2026 12:43

Move22 · 24/08/2026 17:09

Oooh
thanks for this! 👍
country lane near me and now I know !

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It’s not a concrete rule. Theres nuance to be had — stipulates “wherever possible”

OP posts:
Original poster
whyyyyyisitmonddayy · 25/08/2026 12:42

Traypaint · 24/08/2026 16:23

Sorry OP but if this is a road you use often, you really should know that the uphill driver has priority on a single lane hill. Highway Code Rule 155.

It avoids unnecessary clutch control and, in extreme circumstances, failure of the clutch in the uphill car.

Wherever possible is the key word in that code.
She was also driving an EV. so no need for clutch control. And what - I should reverse, with restricted vision, all the way back up the lane? Instead of her reversing into the space genuinely on her left…?

OP posts:
Original poster
whyyyyyisitmonddayy · 25/08/2026 12:40

Lifejigsaw · 24/08/2026 16:00

I wonder if she thought you were giving way because you flashed her on approach. I know you did it to signal lights, but she may have assumed you were giving the more typical ("you first") signal!

Wasn’t flashing on approach. Flashed her once she’d dazzled me. Then we talked and she made it clear she wanted to me to reverse all the way back up.

OP posts:
Original poster
whyyyyyisitmonddayy · 25/08/2026 12:38

Thatsanotherfinemess1 · 24/08/2026 22:47

My partner had our trailer on his truck coming home and met a vehicle in the single width lane about 10m from our house. The other driver refused to reverse so he could pull into our drive and expected him to reverse with a trailer right back to the main road. Nope. He got out, switched off and walked round the other vehicle and into our house where he had a long lunch!

Brilliant

OP posts:
Original poster
whyyyyyisitmonddayy · 25/08/2026 12:37

Sladuf1 · 24/08/2026 15:47

Exactly. Anyone who drives on country roads fairly regularly knows it’s usually quicker for all concerned if you know you’re close to a passing space, to reverse back to it. The other driver is probably one of those who can’t reverse.

I was told that years ago one of the manoeuvres on a driving test was your ability to reverse down a lane. I think that should be re-introduced.

@whyyyyyisitmonddayy do you have a dash cam? They’re worth investing in. I would have done the same as you in the situation. Have found on a few occasions now that merely telling a driver like the one you encountered is on camera is enough to get them to back down.

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I have a top spec cam but the glare from the lights obscured the reg!

OP posts:
AssassinsEyebrow · 25/08/2026 10:38

BlueManakin · 24/08/2026 04:33

You were in the wrong and unreasonably obstinate. Rule 155 of the highway code includes “Give way to road users coming uphill whenever you can. If necessary, reverse until you reach a passing place to let the other vehicle pass.”

whenever you can

So actually not in the wrong or being twattish

Darragon · 25/08/2026 10:22

Unbelievable

socialdilemmawhattodo · 25/08/2026 00:06

Thatsanotherfinemess1 · 24/08/2026 22:47

My partner had our trailer on his truck coming home and met a vehicle in the single width lane about 10m from our house. The other driver refused to reverse so he could pull into our drive and expected him to reverse with a trailer right back to the main road. Nope. He got out, switched off and walked round the other vehicle and into our house where he had a long lunch!

Ive threatened to do that in my village before. Just said I live here. Will park the car (in the middle of the road but wouldnt really) and walk home. It's call my bluff. I am normally a very gracious driver, happy to wait my turn, let others go. But just occasionally someone gets my goat.

honeyfox · 24/08/2026 23:55

I come from a place with passing places and often meet non locals who haven't a clue. You did nothing wrong.

Nothavingagoodvalentinesday · 24/08/2026 23:50

BlueManakin · 24/08/2026 04:33

You were in the wrong and unreasonably obstinate. Rule 155 of the highway code includes “Give way to road users coming uphill whenever you can. If necessary, reverse until you reach a passing place to let the other vehicle pass.”

Doesn’t it also say something about not proceeding if you can’t see? If it doesn't it should.

Thatsanotherfinemess1 · 24/08/2026 22:47

My partner had our trailer on his truck coming home and met a vehicle in the single width lane about 10m from our house. The other driver refused to reverse so he could pull into our drive and expected him to reverse with a trailer right back to the main road. Nope. He got out, switched off and walked round the other vehicle and into our house where he had a long lunch!

Wetcoatsandmudagain · 24/08/2026 22:33

Yup we have a few around here, they can’t reverse to save their life! so panic and then get aggressive. They can only drive forwards so forwards they go, usually up the bank or in the hedge, barging past pushing you off the road and shouting at you. Crazy behaviour.

ErrolTheDragon · 24/08/2026 18:59

Traypaint · 24/08/2026 18:55

Only if you meet on the brow of the hill and there's nothing to indicate that's what happened here.

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Do I need to draw diagrams? 😂 Is it not obvious that if you’re driving down a hill and then need to reverse, you will be reversing up it?.

Traypaint · 24/08/2026 18:55

ErrolTheDragon · 24/08/2026 16:55

Yes but at the point when one needs to reverse, the previously uphill car is now the downhill one. It’s easier to reverse down a hill than up it IME.

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Only if you meet on the brow of the hill and there's nothing to indicate that's what happened here.

MyLimeGuide · 24/08/2026 18:39

She sounds like a maniac.

ErrolTheDragon · 24/08/2026 18:26

WonderingWanda · 24/08/2026 16:07

I don't understand how neither of you managed to spot the glow of oncoming headlights from a distance and therefore select an appropriate passing place to wait for the other vehicle.

Bendy roads with high walls/hedges/trees/behind a hill. Theres lots of country roads where you can’t reliably see a car in time to pull into a passing place, even at night when lights tend to make it easier than in the daytime.

Fiddlesticks1 · 24/08/2026 17:44

We were negotiating a very narrow lane when a car and caravan came the opposite way. There were passing places but he positioned himself right in the middle. We and a number of other cars had to reverse about 200yds into a driveway. He didn’t even have the decency to say thank you. Wa.

EdithStourton · 24/08/2026 17:36

@sladuf
I was told that years ago one of the manoeuvres on a driving test was your ability to reverse down a lane. I think that should be re-introduced.
Given the number of drivers I encounter who have no clue, there should be a section of the driving test headed 'Driving in the Countryside':
How to reverse along a lane
What passing places are for and how to use them
Slowing on the wide length of the lane so that you don't meet the oncoming tractor / builder's transit van / clapped out 4x4 along the narrow bit
How to pass horses
How to treat farm machinery (no, do not roar past that combine, because if the header wasn't on a trailer behind, it will be on a trailer in front, and getting past combine, tractor and trailer... nah...)
What a flashing light on a pick-up truck /clapped out 4x4 means
How to deal with mud on the road
How to deal with slicks of grain on the road
Etc.

myavocadoisgrowing · 24/08/2026 17:29

Tbh topic wasn’t turning her lights down I would have put mine on full beam and left them on. By flashing her you knew it was to indicate to turn her lights down but she probably thought you were letting her past!