Upper Middle Class not well travelled AIBU?

Unless your friends own holiday homes, it sounds like you’ve surrounded yourself with boring people. We like to ski at different locations (Colorado, Canada, France, Switzerland, Italy), otherwise the runs get boring.

Different places for holidays too—for the same reasons—new food/restaurants, sights, and cultures.

Your post @Tabbytiger122 is riddled with assumptions.

• You assume that these folk aren’t “well travelled” just because their recent travel history has been to the same places

• You assume they are insecure enough to care about the same things you do. Most people in this bracket (ask me how I know) don’t want to boast about having “done Cambodia, Laos and Myanmar last year, and then have got Mexico booked for 2027”. It all sounds a bit “I live for my holidays”, posting pics on Instagram from the airport lounge etc

• There is a huge subset of British middle class people (and often women, for I am one) who travel to far flung destinations as a badge of honour, a way of ticking off the global points. Yet try and talk to them about what they’ve seen and it’s painful. Perhaps these UMC folk just don’t have that same need as their lives are fulfilled differently?

YABU.

They probably are well travelled though. They likely travelled extensively prior to having kids. When you have kids it’s then easier to stick to some sort of routine, including holidays. They probably see the same faces in the same places, so like a second set of friends, the kids likely have ‘holiday friends’, it’s all much smoother and easier. Then when kids age out, they will probably stick to some of that for the friendship aspect but also add on different places. That’s completely the norm with people I know.

I’m definitely not UMC, but I’ve reached a stage of life where I have plenty of disposable income for travel and I’m childfree, so could technically go anywhere in the world.

My husband is pretty anti long haul flights (and too much travel in general) so we really only holiday in Europe now. We like climbing, hiking, cycling and skiing, so we keep going to the same handful of countries where we know we can reliably have a great time without too much fuss. We probably sound boring to our friends, we don’t care, it’s our free time.

Are you sure you're not extrapolating this based on a few people you know who don't travel a lot?

There are people across all sections of society who have all sorts of different travel preferences.

Lots of people choose to ski in the same place because skiing with kids can be horrendous. It can be a completely wasted holiday where you come back more tired than you went. The two working full time UMC parent families I know all have very stressful jobs. They’re not after an adventure. They’re after a recharge and some time with their kids.

I think this idea you need to collect different holiday destinations is generally a negative thing.

I can see the appeal of going back to the same place you know again and again, rather than going to new places just to tick them off. It’s a bit akin to buying quality clothing pieces rather than lots of different fast fashion clothes.

In any case, YABU for caring how others spend their holidays.

Yes I think that’s true. The upper/UMC seem to like to be exclusive in who they hang out with and these kind of social cues, where you went to school, where you holiday, what your hobbies are (rugby and skiing, not football and Mallorca), what language you use (as the PP demonstrates they don’t say posh they say smart) all help to differentiate the right sort from the hoi polloi.

Of course we all prefer to mix with people with similar interests but I couldn’t give a toss where anyone went to school or whether they ski with Binky Cholmondeley Horne.

Oh god, read a book. Or at least Google.

People do what works for them I suppose. A PP has given some very helpful insight into the "forming connections" part of it. My PIL were well off (FIL was proper public school posh) and they went to the same 3 places in rotation - their UK holiday home on the coast, a specific area of France they loved and a specific part of the US where MIL had family.

It's easy to think, oh they have so much money, surely they are wasting it going to the same place every time, if I had that budget I would want to go to x and y and z. But if it's what they want to do, it's what they want to do. I earn a good salary (not UMC) and I have a friend who earns even more. I was a bit shocked when I realised because she rarely goes on holiday and when she does it's usually the same place in Wales, rarely abroad. She says she can't face the hassle especially as she has teen kids and stepkids (she travelled a fair bit in her 20s so isn't incurious). Whereas I love holidays and exploring new places, cultures, landscapes etc. I prioritise holidays/travelling above many other things. Neither of us is wrong, we are just different.

Dh and I could afford more exotic holidays but with young children we just wanted to blob on a sun lounger after a long year. We went to the US when they were in infants as my sister lived over there for a while and even that was hard work.

We also travelled extensively in our 20s, so we had already seen a fair bit of the world already.

They are teenagers now and we are off to Asia.

@Tabbytiger122, you're not allowed to find anything interesting or ask about other people's take on it 😂 If you're posting on a forum, you must be 'judging' and probably looking down on everyone who lives life differently to you. And this makes you wrong. So very, very wrong that numerous people have to comment on how wrong you are. Do you feel chastised? Repentant? Will you desist from writing anything online ever again, lest you be judged for judging even if you weren't?!

I increasingly feel that half the world's forgotten how to have a conversation, they can only manage snidey little battles. Thank god we don't have to go out for a drink with them!

You realize people have different preferences right?

Someone's the way we act like must all "go abroad', not really

As long as they are doing what they want rather than what people expect of them and they r happy, leave them alone and enjoy your trips abroad.

... whereas it's morally and culturally satisfying to spend your evenings sneering at the topics other people choose to discuss online 👍 It must be very tiring monitoring other people's posts and getting your knickers in a twist about them.

To be honest, they are repeat visitors to the best places.
They can afford to see some different cultures but some of those places are dangerous, dirty and too crowded.

They get to choose.

They choose family and friends and relaxing.

Often people explore and adventure in their early 20s then settle down to more comfortable, less expensive holidays.

I'm the same as u but each to their own, I guess...

I once got stuck in a taxi with some distinctly UMC people, all aged around 30. They had intimate knowledge of the ski resorts they visited each winter and the eastern Provençal coast, but were clueless about the UK. They had 'Home Counties geography' - everything north of Oxford is an homogeneous mass, very far away. They'd never considered visiting anywhere like Wales and were surprised when I said it has spectacular scenery. They'd heard of the Lake District but thought it was just a big lake.

They said they never think about where places are. They fly there, holiday, fly back. They didn't see any point to 'travelling', as in exploring and looking around. They seemed bright and educated, but weirdly incurious. Admittedly it was only a sample of four! I hope I successfully inspired them to hop in a car for a long weekend - they were discussing it when they got out of the cab.

Surely it depends on what you want to get out of your holiday - if it’s to do an activity you enjoy and get some rest and relaxation from day to day life then going somewhere you know well and already enjoy makes it easier.

Those people aren’t leaving the country to ‘travel’ - they are leaving to have a break.

I'd rather find places I like and return to them, I think. When you spend more time in the same handful of places, you have the chance to know them on more than the surface level, which some might find more meaningful than ticking countries or cities off a list or constantly exploring somewhere new. It's just a matter of preference.

Every year for the first ten years of my life we went to the same hotel in Torquay. I don’t think social status had anything to do with it.

PILs have been to the same Caribbean island at least 15 times and so have their friends. They also go back to a part of France at any opportunity, which, considering they live in the US, isn’t an easy trip.

Not sure what “class” they are, but they’re late 50s and prioritise comfort over adventure / trying something completely new.

I’m the complete opposite. I’ve been all over and still have so much of the world I want to see. So much. I’m only in my 30s though, so that may change with age.

I have travelled a lot, including living in 7 countries on 3 continents. I now rarely go somewhere new, because I know what I like and have seen enough to know what I don't. I have a lovely home, holiday needs to be better than staying home so I go where I know it will be reliably excellent. If you asked me where I've been on holiday in the last couple of years you would also think I wasn't well-travelled.

So you are unreasonable or not,
So then what? Are you going to tell them off? Stage a protest? Report them to the authorities? What now?

What about the non UMC people who go to the same campsite or holiday park every year?

People of all classes like familiarity, routine and holidays they know will meet their needs.

What a bizarre thread built on a very odd premise that people who don’t conform to the op’s notions are, by definition, wrong.
It must be very tiring monitoring other people’s choices and then getting your knickers in a twist about them.
I suggest that you holiday as you see fit and extend other people the same courtesy.