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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I use to strange ways of dating or is something going on ?

29 replies

Fairycake95 · 23/08/2026 20:44

I’m almost starting to think I’m being crazy. I’ve known a guy I’ve been seeing for about 8 months. Life got in the way while we was dating so 2 months of that 8 we wasn’t talking. we started talking consistently again for 3 months. We very rarely speak on the phone, he doesn’t ask any intentional questions to get to know me, he’s very busy and we’ve not once had a conversation about where the relationship is going.

Ive asked him what’s going on as a feel like it’s strange. Usually by now I’ve experienced casual chats about how much you and the other person like eachother and we’ve had none of that. Either my way of dating is unconventional or something is up

is this normal?

OP posts:
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TheSunBeatsDown · 23/08/2026 22:35

I think the question isn't what's keeping him it's what's keeping you.

This is a mystifyingly bad relationship, just move on.

Original poster
Fairycake95 · 23/08/2026 22:29

What I don’t understand is why he would keep this up for so long. Even in terms of sex we've only had it 3 times in the whole time we’ve known eachother. So what’s keeping him

OP posts:
Justthethingsthatyoudointhisgarden · 23/08/2026 22:02

This relationship is going exactly nowhere and I'm stunned you haven't worked that out before now. The wedding comment was just a stupid joke. He has zero intention of this being long term and quite honestly, why would you want to continue wasting your time with him.

ThatBreezyScroller · 23/08/2026 22:00

Get back on the dating sites and find someone to take your mind off him.

Keep looking until you find one that actually treats you how you want to be treated.

ChristmasCwtch · 23/08/2026 21:56

He doesn’t respect you or like you. You’re a fuck buddy to him, not even a friend with benefits.

In the bin with him 🗑️

InterestedDad37 · 23/08/2026 21:49

If he can't be arsed to even read your messages, he isn't worth your time and effort.

Original poster
Fairycake95 · 23/08/2026 21:40

I do feel really ashamed that I’m even questioning all this. It’s made me feel really vulnerable. I’ve not felt cared or important this whole time and I started to think maybe I’m needy. I’ve never had a guy act like this at all.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 23/08/2026 21:32

Dump!

Justanopinionnothingmore · 23/08/2026 21:29

Is this what you envision for yourself? You're barely even getting crumbs.

ThatBreezyScroller · 23/08/2026 21:28

you know I’m not going to read all of this

This is one of the most rude things I’ve ever heard.

He doesn’t like you OP.

Stop wasting your time on him and find someone else.

MyArtfulGreySloth · 23/08/2026 21:27

Doesn’t sound like a relationship at all.

PeanutCat1 · 23/08/2026 21:24

Without sounding harsh if he can’t even be bothered to read your message and tells you so, he doesn’t respect you whatsoever and I think he’s probably a shitty person as well, I’d never be so fucking rude to someone.

meganorks · 23/08/2026 21:23

It just sounds like he's not that into you. He's not asking questions to get to know you as he doesn't want to. He's not talking about where it is going, because its just casual for him. I would cut your losses now.

Bringemout · 23/08/2026 21:21

Stop wasting your time here.

sunnyfeet · 23/08/2026 21:21

How often do you see him? Have you met each others friends and family, and have you been on holiday together?

RemindMeIn15Minutes · 23/08/2026 21:20

Get rid.

Original poster
Fairycake95 · 23/08/2026 21:17

I’m glad I’m not going crazy. I’ve tried to bring it up before and he brush it off and say something like “you know how I feel” but I really don’t. Not once has he said he really likes me or he sees a future with me. The most he’s said is “how much will I need to save for our wedding you look expensive” which was a joke and we’ve never spoken about being official but he’s talking about marriage.

OP posts:
orangetriangle · 23/08/2026 20:58

he sounds rude and uncaring and cant be bothered and only interested in himself

Queenncat · 23/08/2026 20:57

Fairycake95 · 23/08/2026 20:52

I wrote a message telling him how I’m feeling as I feel I can communicate it better and put the conversation out there and he tells me “you know I’m not going to read all of this”. The message wasn’t even that long.

Im genuinely starting to think maybe I’m weird for asking these question from him

It's not you, it's him. Chuck him back.

fruitbrewhaha · 23/08/2026 20:56

It sounds weird to me.

LoftyRubyTraybake · 23/08/2026 20:56

He’s just made it clear he doesn’t care what you say as he can’t even be bothered to read it due to word count (on a text message?)
, sorry, but this one needs to go back in the sea

Mycatmax · 23/08/2026 20:56

Sorry. X post. Yeah, dump him, he sounds boring.

trebeco · 23/08/2026 20:56

He sounds awful. Toss this one back!

Mycatmax · 23/08/2026 20:55

Is he someone who just doesn’t like messaging but is fun company when you are together?

Eyesopenwideawake · 23/08/2026 20:54

Cut your losses. No, it's not normal. It's not even a relationship – don't bothering asking why just delete his number and move on.