Feel like I'm walking on egg shells in my own home

I'm not surprised he's struggling.

His parents both sound absolutely shit, have completely abandoned him and his siblings have been raised totally different. (By the sounds of it, he's had the better option but it won't feel like it to him).

Has he ever had counselling because there's a hell of a lot of unprocessed emotions he hasn't dealt with.

You're the safe space and that's why you get the brunt of it. Unfairly but it's generally what happens.

Counsellung might also benefit you.

It’s not that difficult to work out 🙄

Who are you talking about OP, the baby who’s now grown or the father of the baby ?

Gosh, I feel for you, but I think you have created a trap for yourself. You are under no obligation to house this underage youth. You have enough on your plate with your dd and new baby. I would talk to social services about him getting in a group home or similar.

He doesnt see his mum or siblings, maybe occasionally at christmas but tbh my relationship with dd isn’t the best because she doesn’t like the truth that her relationship with his dad is toxic (still on/off even now) He hates when they come here and earlier this year our dog had to be put to sleep and he got very protective over the ashes and said that his siblings didn’t deserve to be upset because she was his dog not theirs. He doesn’t have any sen

He started seeing his dad when he was about 13 (first time they met) and his behaviour started slightly changing after but i don’t know if it was down to his dad or the start of puberty. He saw him sporadically then after an argument with me he decided he was living with his dad not me. He stayed with his dad for a few days until his dad brought him back saying he couldnt live with him but they could do things together but now grandson hates him. Hasnt seen him in a while but he did give him money in about april. But his dad attempted suicide and when grandson found out he didn’t care he just said he should try harder next time.

It’s hard i feel i’m the only person in his life but im really struggling especially the older he gets i just feel i’ve failed him and keep wondering if i shouldve done more

Gosh, I feel for you, but I think you have created a trap for yourself. You are under no obligation to house this underage youth. You have enough on your plate with your dd and new baby. I would talk to social services about him getting in a group home or similar.

Some context

When my DD was 13 she got pregnant, she didn't really show at all and she was they thought 28/29 weeks gone. I still wonder how no one knew, not me, not her school, not anyone. DD’s behaviour had changed from the beginning of year 8, she was more snappy and moodier and honestly off the rails. I begged for help from school but nothing happened, she was excluded from school and we didn't have mum and daughter days anymore or anything

I wasn't even angry I was more shocked than anything. She was too far gone for an abortion. Prior to this nothing changed in her life to cause this she just fell into a trap after meeting her bf. He was the year above but only months older so nothing was done as they were both underage having sex and dd made it clear she wasn't coerced

She gave birth about 8 weeks after she found out and he was tiny but healthy and I've raised him since then, I got a guardianship order (i think that’s the name forgive me if not im exhausted).

I don’t want to make this thread long and unreadable so will reply to questions but his behaviour is awful tbh, he vapes and smokes weed often, steals alcohol, selfharms, is rude and disrespectful to me, he spends almost all of his time gaming on his PC and doesnt really go out. His room is disgusting the one time he did go out (the other week) I went in his room and found 2 bottles of his wee and when i confronted him later on and told him how disgusting it was he was just like “oh well you shouldn’t have gone in my room then”.

He got his gcse results this week and he already was in a terrible mood because i had woken him up to go get them. He came back and threw them at me unopened and went back to bed. He’s failed everything. He mostly got 1s and 2s but he also got a U it says he got 3 marks across 3 papers on that one.

He doesnt care, hes applied to a college but i dont know if he wants to do it or if he did it to shut me up. its also a level 2 which is going to be an issue. I tried calling school Friday and Thursday but nothing. Would college help? I feel at a loss.

He's been mostly ignoring me since but he asked me to help him tidy his room which I did but he had loads of clothes and I told him I'm not washing them all today (it was ALOT of clothes he hasn't brought down for weeks so I have left them as he didn't put them in his basket either and I wasn't picking them up off his floor) he shouted at me over it and said it's my job so I said I wasn’t helping him tidy up and he then threw a book at me (he says it wasn’t at me) because he’d taken everything off of his shelf and he was annoyed. He went for a “walk” and while he was out I did help him by finishing tidying putting everything back but it’s probably not organised how he would but I hoovered for him and changed his bedding etc. I found another bottle of his wee and when he got back he didn’t care at all he said he couldn’t bothered to go to the toilet when he was playing his game.

He stinks of weed but he swears blind he’s not smoked anything which he has.

• yes this is a repost and i’ve added extra my previous thread got hidden from active and MNHQ aren’t answering my emails

on my other thread people suggested asking social services for help but he’s 17 in a week i don’t know if they’ll do much. he’s not violent but i feel like im walking on egg shells around him sometimes