Husband is a boring bastard

Why is it a dumb idea? When my DS started Reception there were 6 dads out of 25 who were in their 50’s. The youngest dad was in his 30’s.

The older dads were all financially secure and able to dedicate far more time to their DC than the younger dads who were working all hours.

There DC of the older parents have a far better and more stable lifestyle than those of the younger parents in my experience.

I cannot see where you state your age? In any case, yes, having a baby knowing he would be in his 50s when they were not even at school, was a dumb idea. You probably need to divorce or suck it up buttercup

My DH is in his 50’s and I’m late 40’s. We have a 5 year old DS.

DH does way more with DS than pretty much any other dad I know.

He plays with him all the time. After work they’ll be playing football or cricket in the garden literally every day. He takes him out all the time when I’m at work and visits the park or play centre or takes him swimming.

He loves every minute of it. Of course he gets tired at times but it never stops him doing all he can for DS. We have virtually no family help so it can be quite full on at times but we both love it.

Being in your 50’s with a young child is no excuse for being a crap parent.

If you don't see it is an issue, that you call the person that you married a bastard, then you have a major problem.

My parents got a puppy at this age (50 odd). It ruined their lives. They were knackered. My dad loves it but my mum secretly hopes it will die soon (they are now mid 60s). I can’t imagine having a ACTUAL CHILD at this age. It makes be need an urgent nap (early 40s!). Oooof…

@beaglescurleduplikebagels

Same. I’m 38. I shudder looking at my 54 year old neighbour running around after his 4 year old. I thank my lucky stars that is not me. So, so boring and nausey.

I’ve got three teenagers. One has just passed all his GCSEs with flying colours, although he still had a lot of input and guidance from me. Daughter will be taking them next year. My youngest son, two years after that.

This poor bloke is going to be in his 60s dealing with teenagers. Who could be arsed? Certainly not me. I love my teens to bits and find them far more interesting and fun than toddlers, but genuinely glad I won’t be doing it in my 60s.

This might also be a personality thing OP rather just because of his age. My parents in their 70s are very hands on with their grandchildren of a similar age although I appreciate it's very different when theyre providing childcare twice a week. Maybe he should get some blood tests done if he's so tired. Is this a stark contrast to what he used to be like?

Gosh, most of my friends were still having their babies at 37!

So were mine and they were late 60s and early 70s. Your husband does indeed sound like a boring bastard sorry OP.

I will agree to disagree. As somebody else said up above, everyone's different.

No, it really isn’t the outlook. Starting parenthood in your 50s is too old. I feel for the guy tbh, although he’s made his bed and appears to be lieing in it. My neighbour is 54 with a 4 year old and he openly tells us he is permanently exhausted. His younger wife wanted another one but he said absolutely not.

Even people who actually are in their fifties with a three year old, and therefore know if they're too old or not? It's the outlook, not the age, that counts.

Same.

That's not the point.
If that is how you refer to him, surely the marriage is already done for.

Hey! Breaking news. Everyone is different.
I’m an “older mum” (hate that expression), I’m energetic, nobody misses out on anything. The last time I checked I was living in a village in the UK, not a parallel universe

We have grown up kids in our 50s and have a good deal of freedom now. Can't imagine having a three year old at our age.

This. ^ SOOOO many posters know so many bouncy energetic men in their mid 50s who just love wrestling and playing with toddlers! 😆

100% this. Mumsnet parallel universe strikes again. In the real world, most people aged 53 have kids who are about to leave secondary school, or have already left school and are at Uni. (Some by their mid 50s even have no kids left at home.)

LOL. I'll send my lively, healthy, loved 4-year-olds with their ancient parents back then.

dials Social Services to report self for crimes against geriatric procreation

With all due respect I'm a 53 year old man with a 9 year old son. I work a full time job which involves long hours and heavy lifting. I take him out every weekend without fail to the park, the seaside, both Saturdays and Sundays. He gets 2 or 3 holidays in this country every year and the odd one abroad. My partner works in the evenings so my day starts at 7 and finishes around 11pm. We walked up the highest mountain in south Wales 3 days ago. He's not 90 for Christ's sake, sounds like he needs to man up or at the very least invest in some stamina.

Agreed @AlwaysExtraHot. I am just saying he does garden and do the NT stuff!

I am rather astonished by the number of posters who have energetic toddler wrangling husbands in their 50s.

You are way too old to have a 3 year old in your 50s. Lots of people are kidding themselves on this thread.

This! 4 year old twins, with their dad in his 50s. He is more energetic with them than I am. Hard can't relate to this mumsnetmumbojumbo.

Has he had his iron levels checked? Is he depressed? Stressed? Sleeping ok? Got anything going on? He's not old FFS! Best case scenario he needs more vitamins. Worst case he's just content being a crap dad.