Sisters children and step child and our holiday

Whoah, so she’s onto your parents now? Supposing they capitulate and say well yes, they can do a bit here and there? Your (cheeky as fuck) sister will
come back to you and say, “Right, it’s all agreed” and you’re lumbered.
You need to shut this all down right now and tell her, again, that this can’t happen and is not GOING to happen. No more debate.

Why the hell should OP change her plans because her sister is being a pain? No. Just, no. OP has made her holiday plans and her sister is trying to encroach on that for her own convenience. No. Holiday plans stand, sister can fuck off.

Yeah, no
Book a different holiday now for your family, and see parents with your children in between or around Christmas.
Sorry sis, plans changed!

Your sister is a CF. There is no way I’d be taking other people’s kids on a family holiday, nieces or otherwise.

Wow your DSis is a colossal CFer isn't she? Hope she doesn't guilt trip your DPs in to agreeing

How would you even travel with a seven year old without their parents? Do you have to get written permission? Seems like it would be tricky from get go.

I have a 6 year old and I had her friend come to play for a few hours, it’s so much more exhausting then looking after your own kids because like you’ve said you’re not as familiar, trying to make sure they’re ok, extra worried about something happening to them. I wouldn’t let my 6 year old go away with her aunties and uncles, too worried about her missing us or if something happened. So strange of parents, I get that it’s different that you’re visiting family but still I wouldn’t do it. Can completely see the difference in taking the older kids, even that is very decent of you.

Do you think she’d really be awful enough to her own children to stop them going if their step sister doesn’t go?

Is her husband usually so useless about looking after his own children in the half of her life that he’s responsible for her? This is 100% his problem.

I have kids close in age to 7 and I would love a week where I could log off after work and not have to do dinner, bedtime etc. Because kids that age are still work! It’s such a cheeky request.

Your sister sounds a delight!

Please stand firm-offer her the chance to eldest two or none and leave the choice hers to make.

The Op clearly wants to see her parents. She made an offer - to take the older two. That offer can either be accepted or refused. There s zero reason why she should cancel a trip she was looking forward to.

Pushed around by who? Her dad has custody of her that week. It’s his responsibility to either 1) mind his child, 2) arrange childcare for his child, 3) ask ex to cancel her plans.

The fact that he doesn’t seem to have done any of that, and the child’s mother is apparently happy for two people she essentially doesn’t know to take a 7 year old to a a foreign country is the issue.

It is unfair of your Sister to push this on to Mum and Dad.

At this point I’d say sorry, not going to my parents and book elsewhere and go another time. Basically call her bluff. Yes you’ll all be disappointed, but she’s spoilt the entire trip now anyway.

The child is 7, she won't know about negotiations going on between people she doesn't even know.

That poor little girl. She must feel so unwanted and pushed around.

I thought her stance was the 7 year old was “easy”? You sound close to your sister but it would annoy me that she’s being so pushy.

Did she want you to treat her ex’s son like a nephew at the time?

Help you out. The phrasing is interesting.

Her Daddy should have taken time off for his time with his daughter shouldnt he! What would they have done with her if you were going on holiday somewhere else and not to see your parents? YANBU

I assume no word from you sister?

I don’t necessarily agree that just because you form a household with someone with a child you become responsible for working out childcare. In this case SM seems to have assumed that responsibility but it has led to quite an odd situation where her sister is being asked to take a 7 year of child abroad without either of her bio parents. And not only that the child’s mother essentially doesn’t know Op & her DH. Who is this day & age with all the concerns about safeguarding would agree to that?!

If I had booked a holiday and my DH was told by his work he needed to travel that week I’d have to cancel my holiday. Because I need my DH to get paid.
Absolutely agree with this example. But the difference is the child's parents are seperated and they have access arrangements. If Dad needs to work during his access then he needs to sort childcare... maybe sometimes that's the child's mother. But she surely can't be expected to cancel.a holiday (and more than likely lose out on money herself) because her ex can't sort his childcare out.

I don’t know why SM has to step-up the child has two parents.
I did initially say Dad... I included SM because she has chosen to have a life and build a blended family with dad. In that instance Dad and SM need to work out childcare arrangements for their household (i.e. 7 Yr old).

I’m almost always strongly against posts where one child is left out due to not being biologically related, but I’m completely on side with you in this situation, OP.

It’s more the fact that she’s 7, anyway. My DC is a teen, and I simply could not be arsed looking after a young child again. Especially not someone else’s. Especially not a child who I wasn’t close enough to, to feel comfortable telling off or leaving to their own devices for a bit or panicking if they cut their knee or cried because they were homesick.

Any hurt feelings for the 7 year old are entirely the fault of your sister and her partner who are being outrageous in their delegation of duties to you.