Sisters children and step child and our holiday

I just don't believe that the child's father wouldn't have got his holiday honoured by his new employer if he had asked for it; my guess is that he didn't bother asking and didn't care about the prearranged commitment made.

Even if he asked and it was refused: parents have a right to request up to 4 weeks' parental leave. It's a statutory right so the employer can't refuse it. My guess is that he would rather disappoint his child than his new employer, and doesn't want to lose money by taking unpaid leave.

Or if he felt he really had to work, he could have arranged paid childcare. But again he probably doesn't want to 'waste' money on this. Why pay out for childcare when instead he can task his partner with finding some random adjacent female to do it for free?

When you start a new job, you ask them to honour existing holidays.

Nah, it's a real cheeky fxxker tactic of someone who doesn't give a damn about anyone but herself.

If I was OP's husband and she agrees to this I would tell her that her she can take all the children herself and crack on.

I'd stay at home.

Oh I agree on that!

True.

But it's still the case that none of the 3 adults in the girl's life wants to change plans. It's really sad.

I wonder whether the 7 year old genuinely dislikes holiday clubs, or it's just OPs sister talking it up because she'd rather have the week to herself.

Your ‘evidence’ the 7 year old is not easy like the OP’s sister says is solely based on knowing she doesn’t like holiday clubs.

On that sole fact you’re dismissing the sister’s view based on living with the child.

It seems your definition of easy is “totally compliant”. That’s not mine,

Yes I think you’re right! It’s a very clever tactic!

I wasn't disparaging a 7 year old.

The sister apparently insists step child is ‘easy’ so OP will be able to relax. Evidently that isn't the case. I am not suggesting any other 7 year old would be different.

Eh?! @Isittimeformynapyet please point out to me where I said the OP needs help booking seats.

Does anyone think its quite telling that the Dad to this 7 yr old has neglected, purposefully or not with work circumstances to be unavailable for his own child, where mum has commitments and extended family on that side refuse/ are unwilling to have her 'on dad's time'?! Speaks to a bigger pattern of him dropping his responsibilities and having everyone cater to him. The DS is enabling this behaviour now and drawing everyone else in to support.
For me your family, DH and children, parents are being left out of this and their expectations for a lovely trip is lost. Yet we're talking about the resentment of the older nieces and DS, DSN!! Whilst I appreciate youre trying to enable the older nieces to maintain connections to grandparents its a totally different ball game to take a 7 year old you hardly know to a foreign country, we've all read the horror stories when things go wrong for some sense of duty you're being told is your responsibility?! It's simply not.
Your children, parents, Husband, your life to reconcile and enjoy. Your poor hubby is so demoralized he'd rather stay home!!! Speaks to he knows how this will unfold.

There's no suggestion that the OP needs help with how to book the flights.

The father ought to have asked at the interview if the company would honor an existing childcare arrangement i.e. caring for his own child whilst the child's mother is away.
It's not asking to honor a ' holiday' as it's not him that is going on holiday, he is needed at home to care for his own child. His dependent. His responsibility.

Not that of his partner's sister and parents. abroad.

No chance. Taking a 7 year old away, you'll spend your time giving childcare and not relaxing

OP, the trademark of a real cheeky fxxker is someone who won't accept the word no.

If your sister is now pressuring your parents about care to help YOU look after her HUSBANDS child, on YOUR family holiday, then you are really talking about a level of such disrespect of you, your family, and epic cheeky fxxkery.

I would be seriously wary of being used by one like that.

The sister asked the OP if she would take all her children too. She is up for taking the older nieces but not the seven year old. The problem with still taking the nieces is that it leaves two months for the sister to keep harping on about how much better it would be if she also took the step niece, she would be no trouble, she should be treated the same as the rest of the family.

It would make the run up to the holiday tense. The holiday itself will be tense. Afterwards will be tense. If I were the OP, I would be regretting even considering taking any of her sister’s children (even if the OP’s parents would like to see them).

Yes him going on a work trip is a detail that doesn’t really make a lot of sense. Coming into a new job is precisely when you can be absolute about when you’re taking (pre-booked) holiday.

But then there happen to be quite a lot of unfortunate timing/coincidences in this situation, with all of the mother, father and step-mother having plans for the October half-term week.

Please don't feel guilty. It changes the dynamics. Book your own flights and leave the others to it.

Mine are teenage and I wouldn't take a 7 year old away for my holiday who isn't my own..

The mum just wants a solution and in fairness the child will probably be ok but for you it is the responsibility.

Stay firm.

Hmm. In my experience when you go into a new job and say 'I have these holiday periods already booked', the new employer respects that. I think he could have stood his ground on this but has decided to make the care of his 7 yo someone else's problem.

That would be a no thanks from me.
What happens when you get there and the youngster decides she doesn't want to be there and wants to go home?
I once took daughters friend...she complained and whinged about everything..I then discovered that she was a "nipper"...nipping my child if she didn't want to do the same things she did...
It was a fkn nightmare..ruined the holiday.
Never again!

Good opportunity to bond with family and they likely will remember it fondly. I was closer to my aunties than my parents - who were at times neglectful and had a history of failure to repair relationships.

That's a bit ominous. Yes let's hope it's just a timing thing.

This!!

Why is this even a thing? The dad needs to pull his finger out and remedy childcare

Yep don't take the 7 year old. You all need a break with parents and this is it. The 7 year old hardly knows any of you and your sisters taking the piss, manipulate things. The father needs to resolve childcare somehow but this is not your problem.