Sisters children and step child and our holiday

They are different though, I don’t know why that is a problem.

OP said her sister had another step child which none of them see now from a previous partner. That tends not to happen with your bio family, because there is a difference.

“And yes, also she isn’t our niece so it is different “

took a while you got there OP

Would you let your older dc go on a residential with school, or Guides / Scouts, or orchestra, or a sports team ?

As my oldest did camps away, my youngest would sometime say they wanted to go, but, as their parent, I'd just explain they couldn't, and distract them with something else.

A very odd take to think 7 year olds can do everything 15 yr olds can do.

This thread is insane. Only on MN, where any woman one who doesn't love a step-child wholeheartedly as much as their own birth children is the devil incarnate, would people SERIOUSLY be suggesting that the OP should alter and compromise her whole family's holiday to accommodate a step-child that isn't even hers!

Be that as it may, that didn’t make you something you were not to people that were not related to you. As far as the niece goes, sure, you’re free to choose what you want to do. Equally, other people are free to choose differently.

I imagine the universe, if listening, isn’t concerning itself with petty grievances to care one way or the other.

I think you have been more than fair by offering to take your nieces. It far too much to expect you to take a much younger unrelated child.

Erm - why should SIX people adjust their holiday plans (ie OP and fam stay at home and GPs incur travel costs to come to the UK) because sister’s husband has to work and cannot parent his own child, who is completely unrelated to the other 6, in his allocated week?

I’m a step child by the way. It’s reality that you are treated differently and have to adjust your expectations. The Stepchild here has a second family, second parent, second opportunity for summer holidays. She’s not missing out and does not have to be treated the same as OP’s nieces by OP. That’s bloody daft.

I can’t believe OP was even entertaining this or battling with the guilt - am glad she has stepped back and said no. Sister and her DH need to sort this out. It is his responsibility and no one else’s. Thems the breaks, when you have kids and get divorced.

How would that help? OP wouldn’t get a holiday and who would look after the 7 year old? OP doesn’t want to spend a week off looking after a 7 year old and her parents won’t be doing it as they weren’t going to be the ones doing it on the holiday away.

I also presume OP wants to see her parents new home?

So you’re taking a weeks precious AL for a relaxing holiday with older kids/teens that don’t need much supervising, and are now expected to not relax, and look after a much younger child that will very much need supervising.
But your sister and the girls dad are not willing to use their AL to do the same? Strange that

Not ideal but could your parents come over here instead?

The universe really isn't listening. But if you want to believe in petty, silly things like that fine.

I wasn't aware the universe had a pair of ears.Which part of it is listening.The black holes, the stars, the dark matter 😅

I’d say it hugely depends on why the dad is working. If I had booked a holiday and my DH was told by his work he needed to travel that week I’d have to cancel my holiday. Because I need my DH to get paid. That’s life, that’s parenting.

Or may the dad just needs to arrange actual childcare as it’s his week to have the child.

I don’t know why SM has to step-up the child has two parents.

It seems like everyone has to step-up expect the actual parents. One of them needs to sort it.

The sisters kids are more than entitled to a trip to see their grandparents without all this drama if their aunt is good enough to take them. I don’t think the bio kids get nearly enough consideration in these situations. They are entitled to feel special to their own family.

The child’s mother can’t look after her as she is going on holiday.
You, the child’s step aunt, can’t look after her as you are going on holiday.
The child’s father can’t look after her as he is working.

Which person has the most responsibility to change their plans to look after the child ?

Why isn’t it assumed that the mother or father should be expected to look after their daughter before assuming you, the child’s step aunt will do it.

What a vile comment
our father died!!
i now look after my niece from my ex partner if her mother need too, I don’t have too but I do it because she’s a child and I know what it’s like to be left out due to family splits.
be very careful what comes out your mouth, the universe is listening.

It would be a no from me. Yanbu.

I feel sorry for your nieces, your sister needs to consider how they feel about it all too. It Sounds like your sister keeps trying to get them to babysit.

If OP was a single male uncle staying on his own, would you still insist that he needs to take this 7yo girl on holiday?

Or is it anyone with a vagina that has these demands on them?

What do you think you should be treated identically to a blood relative?Just because your parents decided to split up and move on with other people. You are the responsibility of your blood mother and blood father, not every single member of the family that your parent has decided to marry or not even marry into.

Why do you think a completely unrelated adult should assume full responsibility for a seven year old for a week abroad, just because she's a stepchild. Just at the point when her own children are old enough to not need much looking after. She has to take on somebody's seven year old, just because her own parents can't get their act together with child care.

You'll just have to not like that

I don’t think this is even your dilemma. You’ve offered to take the older nieces and your sister doesn’t want that.

It’s not now for you to manipulate your sister to change her mind about the three sisters being together for the holidays or for her to manipulate you to take your step-niece away. It’s for the parents of the other three kids to work out a new plan for childcare.

absolute rubbish. No such thing happened to me and my brother
it’s well known that step children often miss out or get less than their step siblings and it can have a profound effect on their lives, like it did ours.
what a nasty and assuming post!

having been a step child and being left out of things for convenience I can tell you it has a profound effect on my life. Sometimes you have to sacrifice things for family.
its saddens me that people are so myopic about their own lives and their needs.
seriously.

Teens are old enough to do things 7 year olds can't. That includes holidays away from all parental figures.