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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband has ruined dinner

394 replies

OnAJetPlane26 · 23/08/2026 16:24

I’m been upstairs packing for a holiday so asked husband to cook dinner, all of the ingredients for a shepards pie are in the fridge/cupboard.
Came down and thought.. That smells nothing like shepards pie. He has poured an entire jar of Passata and half a jar of parsley into the meat.
Im going to beans on toast. My AIBU is this..
YABU.. Sounds fine to me.
YANBU.. He has made bolognese with mash potatoes and gravy.

OP posts:
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6
NotSurveying · 23/08/2026 16:59

OP, I sometimes batch cook mince with passata and freeze it. I later defrost it and sometimes use it for Bolognese and sometimes use it for a shepherds pie type meal! No complaints from anyone.

PhaedraTwo · 23/08/2026 16:59

Metromayhem · 23/08/2026 16:28

You didn’t know jars of dried herbs are a thing? Really! REALLY?!

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I'm guessing the "I didn't know you can get parsley in a jar" posters are so sophisticated they only use fresh herbs whereas there are many recipes where the more concentrated flavour of dried herbs is needed. Yotam Ottolenghi uses dried herbs in some of his recipes.

MiceSpiders · 23/08/2026 16:58

Itsa10fromLen · 23/08/2026 16:30

It’s giving middle class isn’t it? 😂

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They sell Bart dried herbs in Waitrose!

SunnyRedSnail · 23/08/2026 16:58

@OnAJetPlane26 Ohhhh I thought this was going to be the Friends episode where Rachel makes half a Shepherd's pie and half a trifle as the pages stuck together...

Sounds like he has made bolognaise instead of shepherd's pie. No big deal. Do you not like bolognaise?

CaptainMyCaptain · 23/08/2026 16:57

Vulturesoverhead · 23/08/2026 16:56

What about spices?

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I haven't seen frozen spices for sale unless you count root ginger.

NotSmallButFunSize · 23/08/2026 16:57

I make a version of a shepherds pie with tinned tomatoes and a tin of beans in - it's delicious actually 😋

Octavia64 · 23/08/2026 16:56

I mean I wouldn’t put parsley (fresh or dried) in shepherds pie but passata is passable surely?

Metromayhem · 23/08/2026 16:56

SleeplessRoads · 23/08/2026 16:47

It's not even that, it's giving Hyacinth Bouquet ... my very working class household growing up never had a single jar of dried herbs or any parsley, so I would have totally believed it came in a jar. My children's very middle class household does have a jar of dried parsley in it (and sometimes fresh parsley, but they're almost two different ingredients used in different dishes).

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Exactly this!
They know full bloody well you can get jars of dried herbs. But they think that pretending they’ve never heard of it makes them sound more sophisticated. Pathetic 😂

Vulturesoverhead · 23/08/2026 16:56

CaptainMyCaptain · 23/08/2026 16:50

I use frozen herbs when I haven't got fresh.

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What about spices?

BeardOToots · 23/08/2026 16:56

OnAJetPlane26 · 23/08/2026 16:50

DH is laughing at all the I’m an ungrateful cow comments, he genuinely couldn’t care less that I don’t like his dinner and doesn’t mind at all that im having beans on toast. Unless I’m so bad and he’s just scared to tell me, who knows 😂

Well if this is true, he’s a better sport than you are.

SoSoLong · 23/08/2026 16:56

Parsley is pretty inoffensive so I don't see the big deal. I also put tomato puree or passata in cottage pie. But if you don't like it, don't eat it, no biggie.

Original poster
OnAJetPlane26 · 23/08/2026 16:55

outerspacepotato · 23/08/2026 16:53

I put turmeric in my rice most of the time. It depends how much he put in. Was it glowing Trump orange, that means he used too much.

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Bright orange. He put other things in to, I can’t remember what now but even he wouldn’t eat it and coming from a man that ears wotzit and mayo sandwiches that says a lot.

OP posts:
Spooll · 23/08/2026 16:55

OnAJetPlane26 · 23/08/2026 16:29

He’s eating it and so is DS, DS said it tastes nothing like shepards pie but is nice. I’m not touching it, grim.

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I thunk you're being ridiculous. It's just beef and tomatoes with herbs. It will be fine.

CaptainMyCaptain · 23/08/2026 16:55

NeatPinkFinch · 23/08/2026 16:53

Yes but he was supposed to making a shepherds pie! And he just couldn’t be arsed!

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It sounds more like he was trying to be creative to me not lazy.

WorkCleanRepeat · 23/08/2026 16:54

Gosh you sound like my mother 🤣

BeardOToots · 23/08/2026 16:54

Why would you behave like such a dick to your partner on the eve of your holiday?

UniquePinkSwan · 23/08/2026 16:54

You need to stop looking down at the food your DH cooks. You sound insufferable and if a man was behaving like you are about his wife’s food he would get crucified on here

GameOfJones · 23/08/2026 16:54

Tbh OP you're coming across as a bit of a dick. Sure, it's not Shepherd's Pie but he's also not tried to poison you. I think I'd be quite hurt if I cooked for DH and he said it was grim and wouldn't even try it. That's the behaviour my kids tried to pull when they were toddlers.

Whatever happened to basic decency and appreciating someone's effort even if they got it a bit wrong rather than going "urgh" and slagging them off online?

bafta16 · 23/08/2026 16:54

strawlight · 23/08/2026 16:27

Parsley in a jar… huh?

I mean, it’s probably not going to be inedible is it. I’d eat it, tell him he’s a bit weird, and look forward to some nice meals out on holiday.

pesto?

Switchnow · 23/08/2026 16:53

Itsa10fromLen · 23/08/2026 16:30

The people that didn’t know you could get dried parsley in a jar 😂 it’s what us plebs eat guys.

I have dried parsley but it took me a second to realise what she meant, I was thinking of a pesto type thing.

@OnAJetPlane26 Shepherd’s pie sounds awful for summer dinner and his passata mash up sounds marginally better. Try it, you might like it!

NeatPinkFinch · 23/08/2026 16:53

MellowSubmarine · 23/08/2026 16:33

If I made a dinner that my DH called disgusting and grim, as opposed to just “not my thing, I’ll eat something else” I’d be annoyed.

He hasn’t made something with ingredients he knows you hate, or something completely inedible (he and your son are eating it). He’s just not made a shepherd’s pie.

Yes but he was supposed to making a shepherds pie! And he just couldn’t be arsed!

outerspacepotato · 23/08/2026 16:53

OnAJetPlane26 · 23/08/2026 16:41

The sauce consistency, it was really thick and the parsley was overpowering. He did this last time I asked him to cook.. I’d made a curry and asked him to cook some rice so it was ready when I finished work, he added Turmeric to the rice because he thought it would taste nice, it didn’t.

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I put turmeric in my rice most of the time. It depends how much he put in. Was it glowing Trump orange, that means he used too much.

SaltySpitoon · 23/08/2026 16:51

I'm more shocked by the amount of people who haven't heard of dried parsley in a jar 🤣

CaptainMyCaptain · 23/08/2026 16:50

use92438567 · 23/08/2026 16:48

The Delia Smith recipe has tomato puree, so I don't see the problem with tomato? I think the parsley thing is because the way it was phrased made it sound like the jars of minced garlic or ginger as @Mumalala said. If the op had said half a jar of dried parsley, it would have been clear. Like a lot of us, I have many dried spices, but tend to use fresh parsley.

I use frozen herbs when I haven't got fresh.

Original poster
OnAJetPlane26 · 23/08/2026 16:50

DH is laughing at all the I’m an ungrateful cow comments, he genuinely couldn’t care less that I don’t like his dinner and doesn’t mind at all that im having beans on toast. Unless I’m so bad and he’s just scared to tell me, who knows 😂

OP posts:
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