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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you agree with me or DP on this?

109 replies

Partylapaa · 23/08/2026 13:37

DD’s birthday is second week of November. She’s going to be five so is fully aware of Santa and Christmas. We’ve been looking at venues for a party and the place we have decided on has availability the week before her birthday or the second week of October. I feel strongly that the October date is better as by mid November the venue will be very Christmassy with Christmas songs etc which I think takes away from her birthday celebration. DP thinks I’m being ridiculous but I know that he also wants the November date as he has a golf day that he wants to do the day before the October date and I highly suspect he wants to protect this weekend so he can have his hangover in peace the next day.

AIBU or do you understand where I’m coming from?!

Edited to add we will do a family celebration in November on her birthday

OP posts:
OneNaiceSnail · 23/08/2026 13:46

Btw my dd is dec 27th. We have the party on the 27th as that’s her birthday

heatwavenamechange · 23/08/2026 13:45

November date, the October date is too early to celebrate her birthday.
I have a DD with a mid November birthday and whilst I understand wanting to keep it separate I can't say its ever caused us any issues.

Livpool · 23/08/2026 13:45

Illicililly · 23/08/2026 13:45

My DS was born 15th December. It’s never stopped us organising his birthday celebrations for his actual birthday.

October is ridiculously early. YABU.

DS went to a party on the 19th of December last year.

socks1107 · 23/08/2026 13:45

November. My daughter’s birthday is in December and it’s never ever been an issue.
Christmassy stuff fact added to the magic at that age and November is hardly close enough to Christmas to be such a big deal.

OneNaiceSnail · 23/08/2026 13:45

November. You can’t really just make up a different birthday in the wrong month. It’ll mean more to her having her party near her actual birthday and your reasons are not ones she’s going to care about

Flamingojune · 23/08/2026 13:45

Madness. How do you think december born people cope. Just embrace it

WearingBeautifulShoes · 23/08/2026 13:45

I don't really see the issue with possibly having Christmas decorations at the venue and don't think this will take away from it being a birthday party in any way. My birthday is in December and this isn't something I've ever really thought about.

RoseField1 · 23/08/2026 13:45

November. October is too early and Christmas stuff will be nice and her birthday will be Christmas flavoured forever so it doesn't really matter

Illicililly · 23/08/2026 13:45

My DS was born 15th December. It’s never stopped us organising his birthday celebrations for his actual birthday.

October is ridiculously early. YABU.

Yesiamstressedactually · 23/08/2026 13:44

Are you going to celebrate her birthday early every year to avoid the possibility of Christmas themed decorations?
She's going to have a while lifetime of this,ci don't see how it's a problem.

LeftoverLolly · 23/08/2026 13:44

A week before is still early November and not too christmassy.

Partylapaa · 23/08/2026 13:44

Ok I am being convinced 😂

OP posts:
Bananacrepewithnuts · 23/08/2026 13:44

Imanautumn · 23/08/2026 13:38

October is too early to celebrate her birthday.

Agree.

At 5 her birthday party needs to be as close to her birthday as possible.
Doesn't matter if the venue is a bit Christmassy - a November birthday means you need to get used to that.

Book something in November.

X

Naurrr · 23/08/2026 13:44

Can her friends not go to the family party, then she can have one party on her actual birthday?

Livpool · 23/08/2026 13:43

YABU - she is too young to have a birthday party that much before her birthday.

KarcherK5 · 23/08/2026 13:43

She’s 5. Celebrating her birthday a whole month early is crazy - if anything I think that will take away a lot of the fun and excitement of her birthday as it’s too long a gap between the two celebrations, and she’s old enough to notice.

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 23/08/2026 13:43

A month before is too long imo. I’d go November.

TokyoSushi · 23/08/2026 13:43

November, October is too early.

rwalker · 23/08/2026 13:43

Stick near her birthday
October too early

Partylapaa · 23/08/2026 13:42

Sidge · 23/08/2026 13:41

Why would you want to celebrate a mid November birthday a month early? Thats just daft.

Find a different venue that has availability a week either side of her birthday, surely?

@Sidge for the reasons I said in my OP?

the venue is agreed so these are the only options

OP posts:
WearingBeautifulShoes · 23/08/2026 13:42

October seems ridiculously early to celebrate a November birthday. She'll almost have forgotten about it by the time her birthday comes.

Sidge · 23/08/2026 13:41

Why would you want to celebrate a mid November birthday a month early? Thats just daft.

Find a different venue that has availability a week either side of her birthday, surely?

TinyBlueDent · 23/08/2026 13:41

November because it's only one week earlier than her birthday, not four.

Partylapaa · 23/08/2026 13:41

I checked with the venue about Halloween and this is the weekend before they put up the Halloween stuff.

ahhh not sure now you’re all saying November!

OP posts:
Glitterbiscuits · 23/08/2026 13:41

November