Do you agree with me or DP on this?

November of course. Why wouldnt you?

November birthdays here too - celebrated in November! Sorry…!

Yeah, sorry OP - my DCs have their birthday in mid-November and we wouldn’t celebrate it in mid-October. Way too early.

If it helps, we use their birthday as a bit of a marker.

We do Halloween stuff in our house so we have fun with that first in October, then we celebrate DC’s birthday, and then once their birthday is over, we start looking forward to Christmas and doing Christmassy type things.

I find it works really well to break that period up.

Id go for November as the decorations will be pretty and unless they are putting up something religious I'm not sure that party decorations and Christmas decorations would be that different.

I might miss the subtleties as I have two children and a grandchild with birthdays much closer to Christmas so everything Is Christmassy for their birthdays.

Sorry Op it’s November from me. October will seem like a year ago to her by the time her actual birthday arrives.

You are mad. My DD’s birthday is also the second week of November and mine is the first week of December. That’s when our birthdays are. We don’t pretend they are in October because it’s not Christmassy in October.

My DD’s birthday is 18th December. We just choose a venue that isn’t Christmassy for her party and have it in December.

eta, when she wanted her party at a farm that doesn’t do parties in December, we had it at the end of September, but it was her choice and she was 6

Closer to her birthday is the better option

It's far too soon to have her party in October.

Remember time goes muchh slower for a child. It needs to be near the actual date to have a birthday impact.

You want to have a party 4 weeks before her birthday? That’s bonkers imho

November. The October date is too early as at that age a month or so is ages and it just won’t feel connected! I’m not saying you couldn’t do a party early or delay it with good reason of course, but I don’t think there’s good reason here.

My DD is a mid Dec bday which is a logistical, and expensive nightmare 🤣

We have always done an early party - mainly to avoid busy family diaries that would mean her friends wouldn’t be free to attend so close to Xmas.

we usually do it 2 weeks early, at the end of November and have never found Christmassy or in any way detracting from her birthday, and to be honest - even if it were Christmassy I don’t think kids would give a crap anyway!

October is too early. Have it in November closer to her birthday

If your daughter's birthday is in the 2nd week of Nov and the venue is available a week before that, not sure how it is mid- Nov? In any case, Nov makes most sense, not Oct! Won't you have any say in the choice of music? Surely the DJ won't play Christmas songs for the entire duration of a kid's party? Also, it seems you have something against your husband's golfing plan, because again, don't see a problem with why he can't go in Oct and have the party in Nov.

November date

FWIW my DS has a Nov birthdate similar to your DD and we never ended up with a venue decorated for Christmas , but if they had been he wouldn’t have minded

October is too early

As someone who's birthday is a week before Christmas it has never bothered me having Christmas decorations up around my birthday. In fact it wouldn't be my birthday without it. October is far too early to celebrate her November birthday.

Well you didn’t really give any reasons specifically - just “the place we decided upon”.

Why pick a venue that doesn’t have any suitable availability? Seems daft to me, that’s all.

Mind you my DD had a December birthday and I just booked whatever had availability as close to her birthday as possible 🤷🏼‍♀️

November 😊

November. My birthday is November and as child i would not have understood a birthday party in October. Surely you can ask the venue to not play Christmas music for your childs party and it will save you having to decorate except for a maybe a birthday banner.

Another vote for November. Seems strange to have a party a month before her birthday

Also so what if your dp wants a hangover day in peace, who wouldn't? Are you a team or not?
Unless he has a problem with alcohol and it's a weekly occurrence, it shouldn't be a factor in deciding the birthday party date.

Definitely November

Either is fine. When we lived in the ME, DS had his party in June as July was Ramadan and/or school holidays.

Also vote for November. Closer to her birthday. What kind of venue is it that it will matter what music is played? Will the children actually be listening to it?
I also think that fact that your husband has plans that were already agreed in Oct should be something you consider.