Do you agree with me or DP on this?

October is way too early.

My birthday is 2 weeks before Christmas and I never found it too "Christmassy".

I am with DH on this November - unless your birthday is in a school holiday and you need to change the date for maximum attendance then near her birthday his fine.

I have two who have birthdays in Christmas week, Christmas is part and parcel of anything they’ve ever done, it’s really not an issue. I’d say November date.

A month before is too early imo. I don't think Christmas or the golf day is particularly relevant, but I'd have the party as close to her birthday as possible.

Another vote for November. The party should be as close to her birthday as possible. As for the sickness she could get sick on any date. You’ll need to check the venues cancellation policy but you’ll likely loose the money if you cancel on the morning of the party whatever date you pick.

I wouldn't do it a month early.
DD and DS's birthday is 1st week of December, if anything the Christmas paraphernalia adds a little more magic!

Mid November DC here too and we always celebrate closest weekend to birthday. It wouldn't occur to me to do otherwise (DC will be 14 this year)

As an aside I have two Mid January DC too (and they aren't twins!) and we always celebrate on closest weekend/s. We did joint when they were younger but now we do separate.... and not big parties as before January payday we can't afford it!! But the DC would prefer cheaper celebrations that are close to their actual birthday/s.

November. Were the opposite and out the chrismtas decorations up early to make sure it’s decorated for our DC’s birthday 😂

Doing a birthday party a month before the actual birthday sounds a bit ridiculous tbh, also always thought it was bad luck to celebrate before the day?

What if she is unwell in October?

October is too early. Plus October school holidays could come into play with people being away.

week before her birthday is much better

You think your daughter will not enjoy her birthday of christmas music is playing?

November. She’s only 5 and it’s the day that’s special for her, October is far too early and not even her birthday month.

What’s the venue? Will they really be playing Christmas songs in November?!

anyway…. Obviously November is best

October is too early BUT if he’s getting a peaceful hangover day (which I think is fine) you make sure you get your peaceful hangover day (or whatever an equivalent would be for you).

One of ours has a mid November birthday and we always celebrated it on or close to the actual date. There was never a problem with this - no Christmas trees, decorations or Christmas songs at all.

We’ve got a December birthday and it’s never been an issue, nor has sickness and attendance had always been high/ everyone’s come when he’s picked a few friends when he’s grown older. I think a whole month is too early and wouldn’t really feel like her birthday. Two weeks is the earliest/ latest we’ve known parties to happen and I think you’re as likely to be ill in October as December in school, especially as we’re forecast a wet autumn and they’ll be in more.

Mid November is her birthday. As a person with a birthday very close to Christmas Day, it doesn't matter that the venue might have Christmas stuff up. It's still her birthday then. You make it a birthday party by doing all the birthday stuff like birthday cake, birthday presents, birthday party food etc.

October is too early. Part of the fun of a birthday is the build up and anticipation to the actual day. If you've done the party a whole month early you don't get that excitement.

Definitely November. She's 5, so if hou do October, j guarantee when it comes to her actual birthday and there's no party with her friends she will be sad and no matter how many times you remind her she had a lovely party in October, she will feel hard done by.

As for getting sick. Children get sick at any time. She will be fine.

I think you are massively overthinking. A sixth of the whole population has birthdays in Nov or Dec.

I have a December baby. He gets to choose whether Christmas decs at home go up before or after his birthday. He likes celebrating his birthday near his birthday and we've always got near 100% acceptance rate from his friends.

I’ve never heard of having a party BEFORE a birthday. It sounds a bit mad. On the birthday or the weekend after if it falls midweek, surely?

She could get sick in October so although it would be awkward it isn't anything to do with October v November. You'd have to ask the venue what their policy is.

What does getting unwell have to do with the date?

I have a November birthday, have the November party.

My DDs birthday is the same time of year. I’d also go for November, it’s far enough from Christmas for me. October would be too early.