Do you agree with me or DP on this?

As someone with a December birthday it still hurts me that my birthday was always lumped into Christmas, even down to joint birthday/Christmas presents and parties just didn’t happen. I would have loved a party and wouldn’t have cared how anything was decorated. So I say as near to the actual date as possible. By the way I’m 61 so as you can tell I’m still haunted by this 😂

I'm your daughter in 30 years, haha! My birthday is 8 November. My sister planned my 30th weekend away a few years ago. It was a wonderful spa weekend and I was so grateful for being so spoiled, but as she was pregnant a due mid-December and understandably wanted to do it earlier so she could enjoy it. So my birthday was celebrated mid-October instead and despite the lovely time, it was a bit weird! 😅

It was nice to be celebrated at all, but I think a week either side is as much distance as I'd want to spend from my birthday or a loved one's now.

I don't think there's anything wrong with an early birthday celebration but if the venue is available closer to the date AND that date doesn't clash with pre-existing plans (yes, recovering from an event the day before is an acceptable pre-existing plan) I'm not sure why you wouldn't just go for November?

One parent wanting to recover from a hangover is more important than you second-guessing the decorations. Feels like your insistence in November is to spite your husband, weirdly.

November, she won't associate the 2nd week in October with her birthday and neither will her friends. Or even better, find a different venue that won't be doing Christmas until December. If you are born in December, then you probably can't avoid your birthday being a bit mixed in with Christmas. November you absolutely should be able to!

I think November too, sorry!

October too early

You choose the date closest to your daughter's actual birthday. It's nowhere near being Christmas in early to mid November so I don't understand your thinking. Even if it was during the festive season, life doesn't stop just because it's Christmas. So your husband is right, not you.

November. Also speaking as someone who has a December birthday, Christmas themes around your birthday are just something you get used to - it definitely doesn't detract from the day.

November. You’re overthinking this.

November. Christmas decorations does not remotely take away from her birthday. People actually celebrate their birthdays all the way up to and including Christmas. It’s fine.

I'd go November. There could well be Halloween/autumn stuff around the earlier date, and it seems a shame to mess up your husband's plan when his choice is more respectful of when her birthday actually is.

November

As close as possible to her actual birthday. Five is a big one as she's at school. It also gives her a chance to choose friends from her new classmates to attend.

It seems bonkers to me yo even think about having a party a month early.

And why is the venue the deciding factor? Surely events are a combination of the best date (weekend either side of the birthday) and price/availability?

Being xmassy makes it extra special all the decorations, I’m a December baby, and no yoh can’t do it a month early that’s silly and v confusing for her

October is just too far from her actual bday

I may be odd, but 5 year old me would have been very confused about having a party a whole month early. I’d have been thinking, “but it’s not my birthday” the whole time. A month is aaaaaaaages when you’re 5. Also, kids can be cruel and would’ve been saying, “Why are you having a party when it’s not your birthday?”, or, “I’m not getting you a present cos it’s not your birthday”. Then the actual birthday would feel weird because the party was ages ago.

I’ve always been an overthinker though 😂

I think a whole month before is too early, sorry.

November is fine. Doesn’t matter in the slightest if there is Christmassy decorations. My DDs birthday is November. Meant sometimes we had Christmas linked activities eg painting a Christmas decoration or put Xmas linked stuff into party bags eg a book. At 5, the kids will likely run around, go crazy with any balloons, sing happy birthday and half eat anything not nailed down. Really don’t sweat it x

I think a whole month early is a bit ridiculous. Agree with dp. And honestly your reasoning makes you sound a bit precious 😂

Sorry OP but we are talking about a birthday celebration for a five year old. What is the point in having a party a month before her birthday? That is nothing to do.with celebrating her birthday .
If the venue you have chosen is all about Halloween or Chritmas or whatever choose a different venue where your child can celebrate her birthday with her pals as near the actual date as possible

Does she need a venue ?

If her birthday was Christmas week then yes bring it forward. But it's November. I agree with your DH.

The closest one to her birthday is correct. Otherwise is quite odd. Her birthday is near Christmas so it will always be surrounded by Christmas. Mine is in May so I always had exams, my best friends is in August so everyone was always on holiday.

It’s part of having seasons.

I have a birthday on the 23rd of December so really it’s at Christmas. We celebrate her birthday on that day or the weekend before. It even helps to keep the number down as I invited the whole class for her 5th birthday for example and only 13 rsvp’d to come. She had everything she was meant to have and had a perfect day and I got to save money too. She still always get Xmas presents too just like everyone else. I would pick the November date