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Original poster

Husband won't drive

185 replies

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:18

My husband has a driving license but decided about 15 years ago that he doesn't like driving, so he hasn't been behind the wheel since.

We are currently on holiday in a remote part of the UK—a destination that he chose and booked. We both enjoy having a drink with dinner.

Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I have cooked, served, and washed up every single evening on this holiday. I am happy to do the same tonight, especially since we have plenty of nice food and drink right here in our beautiful accommodation that will otherwise go to waste.

Am I being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
hardshoulderr · 23/08/2026 13:43

Tell him that you don't like cooking and washing and just stop doing it

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 23/08/2026 13:42

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:32

Well, I'm perfectly happy to cook and clean up, and drive 99% of the time, but I do like a glass of wine with my dinner when I'm on holiday.

It doesn't matter whether you're happy or not, does it?

The point is, someone who claims to love you shouldn't be sitting on their arse all holiday and leaving everything to you.

Would you do that to someone you love?

And then call them a cunt when they don't want to drive you somewhere?

hardshoulderr · 23/08/2026 13:42

How have you let this happen?

Flamingojune · 23/08/2026 13:42

I wouldn't go to dinner so far away in the first place but get a taxi and then a divorce

Dunnocantthinkofone · 23/08/2026 13:42

Illicililly · 23/08/2026 13:39

It would be the end for me if DH called me a cunt.

I’m inclined to agree. While there’s often too large a clamour to LTB in here, someone who is prepared to react like that over something as benign as a dinner out almost certainly has a huge raft of other odious behaviours going on

Original poster
Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:42

Growlybear83 · 23/08/2026 13:39

Would it not be easier to get a taxi tonight? I think your husband was unreasonable to have called you names, but I think you’re being unreasonable not wanting to go out on the last night of your holiday. It wouldn’t seem like a holiday at all to me if I ate in my accommodation every night.

Could do, but it would be at least 50 quid each way which would put me off.

OP posts:
Illicililly · 23/08/2026 13:39

It would be the end for me if DH called me a cunt.

Growlybear83 · 23/08/2026 13:39

Would it not be easier to get a taxi tonight? I think your husband was unreasonable to have called you names, but I think you’re being unreasonable not wanting to go out on the last night of your holiday. It wouldn’t seem like a holiday at all to me if I ate in my accommodation every night.

MellowSubmarine · 23/08/2026 13:38

I wouldn’t be ok with him not driving.

My DH can’t drive due to a disability, and it does add a burden to me. If he was choosing not to drive and put it all on me, I’d be furious. You can’t just decide “nah can’t be fucked, my other half will have to literally do all of it”

Namechangedoverandover · 23/08/2026 13:37

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:32

Well, I'm perfectly happy to cook and clean up, and drive 99% of the time, but I do like a glass of wine with my dinner when I'm on holiday.

Just why are you happy to do all the cooking, cleaning and driving?

What does your partner bring to the table? Just his manly presence?

So, you are happy to be a doormat, just so long as he doesn't call you the c word!

Dunnocantthinkofone · 23/08/2026 13:34

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:32

Well, I'm perfectly happy to cook and clean up, and drive 99% of the time, but I do like a glass of wine with my dinner when I'm on holiday.

More fool you. Because that imbalance in chore allocation has led to your OH viewing you as the domestic staff, not a life partner

arethereanyleftatall · 23/08/2026 13:34

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:32

Well, I'm perfectly happy to cook and clean up, and drive 99% of the time, but I do like a glass of wine with my dinner when I'm on holiday.

Why op? Why are you happy to be treated like a slave?

arethereanyleftatall · 23/08/2026 13:33

Just so you know op, the 7% Yabu, will be from people who don’t understand why you tolerate this or have to question it.

what are you getting from this marriage?

Original poster
Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:32

Well, I'm perfectly happy to cook and clean up, and drive 99% of the time, but I do like a glass of wine with my dinner when I'm on holiday.

OP posts:
Wingedharpy · 23/08/2026 13:31

I'd be tempted to make use of my driving skills by packing my bags and driving off without him.
Book 1 night in a lovely hotel, have your own meal and drink then let him make his own way home on the bus - if he can find one.

arethereanyleftatall · 23/08/2026 13:31

He is presumably abusive and controlling in other ways. And you may be too used to it.

this will definitely be true unfortunately.

likelysuspect · 23/08/2026 13:30

Well what do you think OP?

Furrydogmum · 23/08/2026 13:29

I'm quite happy self catering on hols as we like to take our dogs away with us. If my husband spoke to me like that for any reason at all, he'd find himself alone for the last night and sorting his own travel. Please don't stand for it.

Elieza · 23/08/2026 13:29

i’d be driving - home to pack his shit and change the locks lol.

but seriously, why are you a skivvy for him? it’s not 1950. Youre allowed to have a life. and fun. and a drink. wirhout nasty names being thrown at you.

just tell him “remember you decided years ago not to drive and ive had to do it ever since, well ive decided the same. so fuck you, you lazy misogynistic bastard”

Cuppachuchu · 23/08/2026 13:29

I wouldn't be driving him anywhere until and unless I got a grovelling apology for the name calling. He is an arsehole.

wildflower4 · 23/08/2026 13:28

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 23/08/2026 13:26

Yes, you're being totally unreasonable OP.

Who wouldn't enjoy being called a cunt and cooking, serving and washing up all holiday 🙄

And doing all the driving!

arethereanyleftatall · 23/08/2026 13:28

Of course you are not being unreasonable op.

but you do need to have a good think about why you need to question whether your husband calling you a cunt because you don’t want to be his cab driver once again.

Because it isn’t remotely acceptable. None of it is. If any one of the following things happened to me I would no longer be married to someone so vile;

  1. called me a cunt
  2. exoected me to drive him around for 15 years
  3. expected me to do all the cooking and cleaning on holiday
  4. booked a holiday knowing that I would have to do 2 and 3

none of it is remotely acceptable, why do you tolerate this?

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 23/08/2026 13:26

Yes, you're being totally unreasonable OP.

Who wouldn't enjoy being called a cunt and cooking, serving and washing up all holiday 🙄

DierdreDaphne · 23/08/2026 13:25

It is never acceptable to call your wife a cunt, even if she has been unreasonable. Which you haven't. If he so keen to go out to dinner perhaps he could arrange a taxi. For one.

He is presumably abusive and controlling in other ways. And you may be too used to it.

Shatteredallthetimelately · 23/08/2026 13:25

What would he say if you decided that you also no longer like driving and have decided to give up?