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Original poster

Husband won't drive

185 replies

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:18

My husband has a driving license but decided about 15 years ago that he doesn't like driving, so he hasn't been behind the wheel since.

We are currently on holiday in a remote part of the UK—a destination that he chose and booked. We both enjoy having a drink with dinner.

Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I have cooked, served, and washed up every single evening on this holiday. I am happy to do the same tonight, especially since we have plenty of nice food and drink right here in our beautiful accommodation that will otherwise go to waste.

Am I being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
Jerrybalanitis · 23/08/2026 14:08

What a big tough man calling you a cunt when he hasn't even got enough balls to drive a car.

MrsVBS · 23/08/2026 14:07

Pack your car and drive yourself home, let your husband worry about how he gets home.

GreenCandies · 23/08/2026 14:07

Why are you with him?

Dobeebeedah · 23/08/2026 14:06

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:32

Well, I'm perfectly happy to cook and clean up, and drive 99% of the time, but I do like a glass of wine with my dinner when I'm on holiday.

After that word there would be no more "DH". Marriage would be dead in the wine! Driving is a shared job, along with cooking and washing up, in these circumstances.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 23/08/2026 14:05

Has he perhaps given up driving because he REALLY likes a drink when he's out and this way he never has to be expected to not drink? Does he have a bit of a problem with alcohol? Because it does seem odd to be SO insistent on going out for a meal when you have food in (that he doesn't apparently have to cook or clear up after)...

fashionqueen0123 · 23/08/2026 14:05

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:42

Could do, but it would be at least 50 quid each way which would put me off.

Show quote history

If my husband called me that word, I would have packed up and driven home.

As he can't drive he'd then have to make his own way back.

Don't put up with this for a minute longer.

RemindMeIn15Minutes · 23/08/2026 14:04

Tink3rbell30 · 23/08/2026 13:25

Never mind that, why is he name calling and why has he not cooked or washed up once? The bar is so low.

^This

Mycatmax · 23/08/2026 14:04

I would just pack up my shit and drive home without him. I could not stay with a man who thinks I am a cunt.

cornflakecrunchie · 23/08/2026 14:03

OP's not saying much.
Hopefully she's packing the car & going home. Alone.
NO-ONE has ever called me the 'c' word (I hate it) & I wouldn't hang around to hear it twice.

ClairDeLaLune · 23/08/2026 14:03

OP why are you putting up with this? He treats you like a slave and calls you a cunt. He has ne respect for you, he doesn’t love you. Please raise your bar and ditch him.

Dobeebeedah · 23/08/2026 14:01

Book a room for yourself near the restaurant without saying anything to DH. Have your dinner and 2 or 3 glasses of wine (I would also have a brandy). When dinner is finished get up walk out and leave him to it!

poetryandwine · 23/08/2026 13:59

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 23/08/2026 13:57

Just quoting this for all the 'book a taxi' posters who seem to have missed it...

Show quote history

I saw that. But what are OP’s choices? DH may decide to go without her, meaning that the money would be spent anyway. Then she will have missed the meal to no purpose.

arethereanyleftatall · 23/08/2026 13:58

You seem to be accepting of your role in this relationship op, but youre not joining the dots. Of course someone who thinks it’s perfectly fine for you to be his servant, which you have said you are happy with, is also perfectly fine to call you a cunt if you don’t fulfil the role. It is what the two of you have come to accept as normal. If you are happy to be disrespected, I’m not sure why it’s a surprise when you are disrespected.

AintNoPunshineWhenShesGone · 23/08/2026 13:57

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:42

Could do, but it would be at least 50 quid each way which would put me off.

Show quote history

Just quoting this for all the 'book a taxi' posters who seem to have missed it...

Mycatisreal · 23/08/2026 13:54

I wouldn’t want to get in the car with him driving seeing as he’s not been behind the wheel of a vehicle for 15 years. There’s only one cunt OP and it’s not you.

poetryandwine · 23/08/2026 13:52

Time to prioritise yourself, OP.

Either book a taxi or refuse to go, as you like. (If booking a taxi means you, personally, would pay, that’s unacceptable. Unless all expenses for this holiday come out of a joint pot, DH owes you this.) Do it in a positive spirit - make clear that you aren’t trying to thwart DH, you simply deserve this.

I assume there is no back story where DH has been catering to you in other significant ways to make up for your efforts. That might change the balance.

Bananacrepewithnuts · 23/08/2026 13:50

Illicililly · 23/08/2026 13:48

A night off? The OP needs the rest of her life off from this cock lodging, abusive, poor excuse for a human being.

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Lol x

user1476613140 · 23/08/2026 13:48

Book a taxi there and back.

Illicililly · 23/08/2026 13:48

Bananacrepewithnuts · 23/08/2026 13:45

Taxi?
Don't ask. Just book it. Tell him you're having a night off.
X

Show quote history

A night off? The OP needs the rest of her life off from this cock lodging, abusive, poor excuse for a human being.

Any1ForTennis · 23/08/2026 13:47

Forget the driving.

My DH would only call me a C once before he became an ex DH.

Firefly100 · 23/08/2026 13:47

When he chose and booked it I would have asked him how he was going to get there. I would have explained I was not prepared to do all the driving, something I could have told him had he asked me, and therefore declined to go. You can’t make him drive but personally, I wouldn’t compensate. If he chooses to be a non -driver, he lives with the limitations that comes with. I wouldn’t compensate and would NEVER give him a lift anywhere unless he shared the driving.

Bananacrepewithnuts · 23/08/2026 13:45

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:18

My husband has a driving license but decided about 15 years ago that he doesn't like driving, so he hasn't been behind the wheel since.

We are currently on holiday in a remote part of the UK—a destination that he chose and booked. We both enjoy having a drink with dinner.

Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I have cooked, served, and washed up every single evening on this holiday. I am happy to do the same tonight, especially since we have plenty of nice food and drink right here in our beautiful accommodation that will otherwise go to waste.

Am I being unreasonable here?

Taxi?
Don't ask. Just book it. Tell him you're having a night off.
X

wildflower4 · 23/08/2026 13:44

@Tdp123 Prioritise yourself! Your husband doesn’t respect you at all.

LlynTegid · 23/08/2026 13:44

Anyone not driving is reasonable. Given how many people there are unfit to hold a licence but still allowed to drive.

However, use of the C word, or choosing holidays with no walking or public transport option, that is 100% unreasonable.

Dunnocantthinkofone · 23/08/2026 13:44

Taxi? Not a chance
Thing is OP, why would you now even WANT to go for dinner with this abusive obnoxious fuckwit?