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Original poster

Husband won't drive

185 replies

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:18

My husband has a driving license but decided about 15 years ago that he doesn't like driving, so he hasn't been behind the wheel since.

We are currently on holiday in a remote part of the UK—a destination that he chose and booked. We both enjoy having a drink with dinner.

Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I have cooked, served, and washed up every single evening on this holiday. I am happy to do the same tonight, especially since we have plenty of nice food and drink right here in our beautiful accommodation that will otherwise go to waste.

Am I being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
MrsShawnHatosy · 23/08/2026 14:44

LlynTegid · 23/08/2026 13:44

Anyone not driving is reasonable. Given how many people there are unfit to hold a licence but still allowed to drive.

However, use of the C word, or choosing holidays with no walking or public transport option, that is 100% unreasonable.

Anyone not driving is reasonable.

Not when you expect someone else to do it for you and thus enjoy all the benefits, even though you are actually able to do it yourself..

BitOutOfPractice · 23/08/2026 14:44

Being called a cunt would end it for me.

He sounds like an arsehole op.

Bizkibee · 23/08/2026 14:42

Well he doesn't know what side his bread is buttered, does he?

blackcatlove · 23/08/2026 14:41

Why are you treating him like a small child and cooking and clearing up all the time? No wonder he disrespects you.

Gengha · 23/08/2026 14:40

Drive yourself home and start plans for divorce. Never drive him anywhere again as long as you live. Calling you a cunt is completely disgusting

viques · 23/08/2026 14:39

I think I would wait until the car is all packed up for the journey home then ask him to nip out and double check that you had turned the cooker off/ locked the back door/ picked up his toothbrush from the bathroom.

Then I would drive off with the radio playing Donna Summer all the way.

An alternative would be, drive to the nice restaurant tonight as planned. Knock back a couple of large g and t as soon as you arrive. Smile sweetly and hand over the car keys “ Oops, forgot I was supposed to be driving dear. Shall I order you an orange juice?”

MimiGC · 23/08/2026 14:38

I agree with the others- drive home without him and when he asks why, tell him it’s because he called you a C and sat on his arse all holiday, letting you do all the cooking and cleaning. Time to wake up and smell the coffee, OP.

Teado · 23/08/2026 14:38

He doesn’t like or respect you very much. Whether you stay with him is up to you.

IJustMight · 23/08/2026 14:37

Growlybear83 · 23/08/2026 13:39

Would it not be easier to get a taxi tonight? I think your husband was unreasonable to have called you names, but I think you’re being unreasonable not wanting to go out on the last night of your holiday. It wouldn’t seem like a holiday at all to me if I ate in my accommodation every night.

I think the point is it hasn't been much of a holiday for the OP anyway .. she's done all the cooking, serving and cleaning while they've been away from their house ... imagine it's the same at home for her. I don't blame her frankly at this point and she should be questioning if she wants to spend the rest of her life like this. She is NOT being unreasonable. At all.

Frugalgal · 23/08/2026 14:36

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:18

My husband has a driving license but decided about 15 years ago that he doesn't like driving, so he hasn't been behind the wheel since.

We are currently on holiday in a remote part of the UK—a destination that he chose and booked. We both enjoy having a drink with dinner.

Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I have cooked, served, and washed up every single evening on this holiday. I am happy to do the same tonight, especially since we have plenty of nice food and drink right here in our beautiful accommodation that will otherwise go to waste.

Am I being unreasonable here?

If my husband called me a cunt and was such a selfish pig, I would pack my bags, get in the car and drive home. I would be getting started on the divorce arrangements while he was making his useless, abusive way home.

godmum56 · 23/08/2026 14:33

Yeah I could get an agreement for one person to do all the driving because we used to take my late H's car which I hated driving, but that meant it was up to the driver to say when they would drive and how much. But the swearing absolutely not.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 23/08/2026 14:32

poetryandwine · 23/08/2026 13:59

I saw that. But what are OP’s choices? DH may decide to go without her, meaning that the money would be spent anyway. Then she will have missed the meal to no purpose.

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Best choice seems to be getting into her car and driving home, leaving him to work out how to get back under his own steam, tbh.

99bottlesofkombucha · 23/08/2026 14:32

I think you should drive out to dinner, without him. Ideally with your bags and not come back.

Comtesse · 23/08/2026 14:28

I don’t drive (never passed my test and live in a big city so no real need) but I certainly wouldn’t insult someone who didn’t want to ferry me around. HIBVU.

arethereanyleftatall · 23/08/2026 14:26

Cloverroll · 23/08/2026 14:24

This is reverse mysoginistic. There are a lot of women who 'don't have the balls' to drive a car and we're all mostly sympathetic about that. Why is it different for a man?

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The not driving of the car, assuming there’s a good reason other than being an alcoholic or lazy, isn’t the problem here. It’s the calling of your chauffeur a cunt for not drinking you one time, that is.

Cloverroll · 23/08/2026 14:24

Jerrybalanitis · 23/08/2026 14:08

What a big tough man calling you a cunt when he hasn't even got enough balls to drive a car.

This is reverse mysoginistic. There are a lot of women who 'don't have the balls' to drive a car and we're all mostly sympathetic about that. Why is it different for a man?

Itsthewoluff · 23/08/2026 14:21

I like the drive home and make him catch the bus home option.

Cloverroll · 23/08/2026 14:21

Obviously him calling you a c is not on. But why does he not drive? Is an anxiety thing? Because I can understand why someone with severe anxiety over driving might get very distressed if someone else tried to force them to drive.

Could you not get a taxi to and from just this once?

RamALamADingDong2 · 23/08/2026 14:20

Sometimes I read stuff on here that just stuns me. Like......eh?!

If my husband EVER even considered uttering the C word in my direction, there would be serious hell to pay.

Again, if he ever even considered not pulling his weight on our JOINT holiday and for some unfathomable reason expected me to do all cooking, serving, cleaning, and driving, there would be hell to pay.

Unless he's got a physical disability AND Tourette's, you might want to have a serious think about why on earth you're living this way.

ManyATrueWord · 23/08/2026 14:20

He sounds like an alcoholic who is heading towards non functioning.

latetothefisting · 23/08/2026 14:17

unreasonable to still be with someone who calls you a cunt, yes.

AggroPotato · 23/08/2026 14:12

Deadringer · 23/08/2026 14:11

Actually this is a much better suggestion

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Agreed, best outcome would be to pack up and drive away, leaving him behind. What a twat.

Deadringer · 23/08/2026 14:11

MrsVBS · 23/08/2026 14:07

Pack your car and drive yourself home, let your husband worry about how he gets home.

Actually this is a much better suggestion

thepariscrimefiles · 23/08/2026 14:11

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:32

Well, I'm perfectly happy to cook and clean up, and drive 99% of the time, but I do like a glass of wine with my dinner when I'm on holiday.

You seem to be massively under reacting to his abusive behaviour. How dare he call you a cunt just because you don't want to drive him to a restaurant where he can have a drink but you can't.

You seem to have done all the wife-work while on holiday. What does he contribute?

Deadringer · 23/08/2026 14:11

Yabu for putting up with his shit. Go out by yourself, you won't be able to drink but at least you won't have to watch him drinking.