Husband won't drive

Seriously? You doubt yourself over someone that calls you a cunt to your face?

If he doesn't want to drive ok. But he doesn't get to complain. He can book a taxi then you can both have a drink

I don't drink but this is a ridiculous take, she's perfectly entitled to want a drink on holiday

@Tdp123 he called you a cnt?!?!?! I think he needs to look in the mirror if he wants to see a cnt!

I wouldn't want to be sharing a meal with someone who called me that, let alone drive them to dinner.

Personally I'd probably agree to the meal in the restaurant but make it clear that as you cannot drink then neither can he. And if he so much as slurps a beer then do a runner in the car and leave him stranded!

The French and Italians very typically have a glass of wine, or two, with the main meal of the day. They have for centuries. Though other European cuisines, including the British, have caught up - particularly in this century - for ages these were held to be the two finest cuisines in Europe.

The British food revolution began when Elizabeth David brought them here.

Not having the confidence to drive is one thing ( that can happen , sometimes a person might feel they have to learn , it’s the done thing etc but they’re not natural drivers and they’re not good at it ) however, expecting you to cook and clean up and then calling you the C word ..I’d leave him behind and let him make his own way home

Doesn’t sound like much of a holiday @Tdp123

We needed to drive in Europe and I am not confident enough on the right so H happily drove. We like a drink at dinner, but together, so I didn’t drink until car was parked up for the night. It wouldn’t cross my mind to call him a “cunt” for not driving me 30 minutes to watch me drink, that’s just a level of contempt and dislike that shouldn’t exist in a marriage.

I honestly can’t fathom how you cook, clean and do all the driving and still get called out and still want to stay with someone (marriage or not marriage can be dissolved it’s just lengthy paperwork). H was explaining to me on holiday how even if he is super stressed at work, or having to do difficult drives on the right hand side or whatever that he can’t be on a bad mood around me and the teens because we are his favourite people in the world and he always feels better around us. Perhaps he has low standards or I have high ones I don’t know but whatever how your H talks to you, the expectations on you, your willingness to put up with it all, this doesn’t sound like love in my world.

So what now? He is going to make your last night away miserable because you fancy a chilled drink as well, is this even after you cook (again) and clean up (again) and he sits there being a dick calling you the worse names whilst contributing little and all because you don’t fancy doing the same thing he stopped doing 15 years ago?

So you going to do all the packing, drive him safely home, go get groceries on return, do the holiday laundry when you get back and he will still act like golden penis being shunned?

He chose and booked the holiday - in the middle of nowhere - expecting his wife to drive him to a restaurant. Not sure if we reversed the roles anyone would say anything different.

This.

Also for a woman more than 2 units a day is technically binge drinking. One can of my favourite cider is 2.3 units so finishing the can is binge drinking. What utter nonsense that a woman in her 40s can't finish one can of cider without being judged as a binge drinker who should have grown out of it in her 20s.

I wouldn't be happy with this at all.

I can kind of get past the "not driving" aspect as there are (or were) plenty of marriages/partnerships where the wife/girlfriend doesn't drive, or expects the man to do the driving. And at the point he said he wasn't going to, that was the point to have spoken up and said you weren't being the default driver.

And if you are happy to do the chores without help - again, that on you to do something about at the start.

But calling your wife a cunt is not acceptable to me and to be honest I would have probably had a row, packed my stuff and driven home on my own. He can find his own way back. If that resulted in the breakdown of the relationship then so be it.

but there does come an age when people are far too old to be drinking.

Are you joking? My parents are in their 80s and still enjoy a drink with their dinner. Out Friday for a meal. 2 pints for DF. 2 glasses of wine for DM. Both not driving as I drove. Soda and lime for me. Everyone's happy!

He drives or end your relationship..you're a dw not his fucking chauffeur .

Drinking wine with a meal, especially when on holiday, or having a good meal out is a reasonable thing to do, irrespective of age. It is miserable to watch someone else enjoy this option when they have decided they don't want to drive, so you are denied /not allowed the same enjoyment. Calling you a cunt at any time, but particularly over this, needs addressing sharpish. Others have offered helpful suggestions, what you can't do is do nothing.

After being called that why are you not cutting the holiday short and leaving him? Is that normal in your relationship?

Well do you think that's okay, I would end the relationship.

So then the husband shouldn’t have an issue with not going then?

It astounds me as to what some women are ok with.
Part of raising my girls is to make sure they never become like this!

Why are you doing all the cooking and cleaning?
And tolerating someone calling you a cunt because you don't want to drive - when he doesn't either.

No one on MN is sympathetic to women who don't drive (by choice) 😂
It's the short cut to a logistically complicated existence, and always bothering others for lifts.

He would only call me that once!

Once. He only gets to call you this once. As he has chosen to leave the driving to you, you get to dictate when and where you drive
.

Not driving (by choice) is very unmanly...
So is not pulling your own weight, especially on holiday.
Also, swearing at your wife.

@thepariscrimefiles So OP is too old to want to have a drink with her dinner (nowhere has she said that she wants to get drunk)

She could have a pint and be fine to drive. Although drinking alcohol with your main meal of the day is a bit weird.

but you have no harsh words for her DH who called her a cunt because she refused to drive him to a restaurant where he would be drinking and she couldn't?

I would also view her husband as being far too old to be getting into a huff over not being able to drink.

... but clearly, the reason why her husband is annoyed is because he's not being provided with transport. Some people don't drive which is fair enough, but there does come an age when people are far too old to be drinking.

Looks like the husbands found this thread 🙄