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Original poster

Husband won't drive

185 replies

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 13:18

My husband has a driving license but decided about 15 years ago that he doesn't like driving, so he hasn't been behind the wheel since.

We are currently on holiday in a remote part of the UK—a destination that he chose and booked. We both enjoy having a drink with dinner.

Tonight is our last night, and he is currently throwing a massive strop. He even called me a "cunt" because I am refusing to drive 30 minutes each way to go out for dinner, which would mean he gets to drink while I have to stay sober to drive us back.

I have cooked, served, and washed up every single evening on this holiday. I am happy to do the same tonight, especially since we have plenty of nice food and drink right here in our beautiful accommodation that will otherwise go to waste.

Am I being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
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MyTakeIsntYourTake · 24/08/2026 22:20

Doesn't sound like much of a holiday for you OP. If anything then he's the cunt!
Why couldn't he pay for a cab both ways if he wanted to go out so much.
What a miserable man he is and so ungrateful.

TwinklyGoldBee · 24/08/2026 22:16

So you drove all the way there, have driven likely every day and will do the return journey, cooked, washed up etc all week and now he is having a tantrum because he’s not getting his way ffs! Pack the car, slam the door and leave him there, get him to appreciate how lucky he is
and when he finally finds his way home say ‘what took you so long you c*nt?’

Dobeebeedah · 24/08/2026 22:09

I prefer driving with a passenger (or animal), but I still drive long distances. I don't stop driving because I have a preference. He needs to get over his aversion and grow up. OP needs to make sure she is safe from this violent controlling man.

JenRummy · 24/08/2026 18:24

FrostyPalms · 24/08/2026 16:19

Absolutely.

I'd go further and argue that it's never OK to call anyone that word, in anger or otherwise.

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Agreed.

Bananalanacake · 24/08/2026 17:37

Would your life be happier without him in it.

Yetone · 24/08/2026 17:37

Ablondiebutagoody · 24/08/2026 16:50

Yes. OP enjoys a glass of wine with dinner. It's fine and legal to do this and drive.

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But you suggested a couple which would be over the limit.

SleeptightEvangeline · 24/08/2026 16:57

Why did he book a restaurant so far away? The C word would push me right over the edge. How dare he!

Ablondiebutagoody · 24/08/2026 16:50

BCBird · 24/08/2026 16:45

What does this mean? Drink and drive?

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Yes. OP enjoys a glass of wine with dinner. It's fine and legal to do this and drive.

Yetone · 24/08/2026 16:49

BCBird · 24/08/2026 16:45

What does this mean? Drink and drive?

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That is exactly the impression I got with that post and thank goodness most people wouldn’t do it.

BCBird · 24/08/2026 16:45

Ablondiebutagoody · 24/08/2026 16:11

If it's that remote, probably OK to have a couple of drinks

What does this mean? Drink and drive?

BCBird · 24/08/2026 16:43

Calling u that is vile.

mashpatooties · 24/08/2026 16:19

Fuck him off!

FrostyPalms · 24/08/2026 16:19

JenRummy · 24/08/2026 16:13

Never ok to call a spouse the C word in anger. That’s crossing a line.

Absolutely.

I'd go further and argue that it's never OK to call anyone that word, in anger or otherwise.

FrostyPalms · 24/08/2026 16:16

I feel like him not driving is the least of your problems in this relationship.

JenRummy · 24/08/2026 16:13

Never ok to call a spouse the C word in anger. That’s crossing a line.

Ablondiebutagoody · 24/08/2026 16:11

If it's that remote, probably OK to have a couple of drinks

Yetone · 24/08/2026 16:02

OP, I will let you into a couple of secrets that I don’t usually admit here:

I don’t like driving. I only drive very occasionally but not on motorways after a bad experience.

My husband doesn’t like cooking. He does do other household things.

I don’t expect anyone to drive me and my husband doesn’t expect anyone to cook for him. When we go on holiday he drives and I cook. It is a trade off. We don’t go out in the evening unless the restaurant is a walk away because on holiday we both like a drink.

You need to have a discussion with your husband about his expectations that you do everything.

Joeylove88 · 24/08/2026 15:59

Your DH sounds like a deeply unpleasant person. You say he will only get angrier if you suggests he drives for once which does sound abusive. Have you considered that you are being manipulated and controlled and don't need to put with that kind of life especially being called disgusting names?

Kokonimater · 24/08/2026 15:52

You sound like a doormat.
Don’t you think you deserve better than this?
Are you a team?
This sounds awful.

malloryknox123 · 24/08/2026 15:27

Your DH calls you a cunt and you ask who is being unreasonable? He’s really done a number on you, in the kindest possible way

StressedOutPeanut · 24/08/2026 15:21

So I didnt like driving. I had a massive crash on the motorway that gave me PSTD.
I didn't get a new car. But soon learnt if I wanted to go places I would have no choice but to drive myself which I happily do now.

So the moral is: stop driving that bastard. Say no. He will have no choice eventually.

TurtleMcTurtle · 24/08/2026 15:08

Jesus. Do people really live like this??

OP, your partner is just awful. No one should be verbally abusing you and your partner (key is in the word here) should be contributing equally to the domestic load, like cooking, cleaning and driving and not unilaterally deciding that workload is all yours and calling you a cunt if you don’t do it.

Please understand that is it NOT NORMAL within a healthy relationship, in fact it’s fucking awful. I feel so sorry for you ☹️

WerewolfOfLoudon · 24/08/2026 14:49

Tdp123 · 23/08/2026 18:31

That'd be guaranteed to make him even angrier.

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Leave him there. He can make his own way home. He's an abusive twat and you already know this.

BustyLaRoux · 24/08/2026 14:47

To be clear then, you are his cook, cleaner and chauffeur. And he gets to drink and sit back on holiday while you do all this. And when you say no to chauffeuring him to dinner while you have to stay sober in order to satisfy his requirements, you are verbally abused. And you are questioning whether YOU ABU..?

Why are you putting up with this horrible man?

CinnamonBuns67 · 24/08/2026 14:41

Yanbu. He's perfectly within his own rights to decide he doesn't want to drive but that doesn't mean he has the right to demand you drive him around and he certainly has no right to call you names. Tell him to make his own way there via taxi and you stay in your accommodation and get a lovely takeaway (or cook if you prefer) and bottle of wine, be tempted to tell him to make his own way home from the holiday too.