AIBU to change schools over my husband helping a neighbour?

Totally NBU OP. Very well played.

You obviously can't trust your husband.

No decent husband would allow a neighbour to be rude to his wife and carry on a friendly relationship with them, because she's female, he probably fancies her and gets off on the attention.

No decent husband would carry on giving lifts to said rude neighbour after his wife told him it was upsetting her, because she's female, he probably fancies her and gets off on the attention.

No decent husband would allow a rude neighbour he was giving lifts to against his wife's wishes, because she's rude to her, to keep a 'care package' in the family car, because she's female, he probably fancies her and gets off on the attention.

Your husband is to all intents and purposes colluding in a game with this woman because he knows she upsets you and she is blatantly trying to get in his trousers. That is pretty sick IMO.

The new school set up means you can observe their interactions now they don't have a reason to have contact with each other if you really want to salvage your marriage.

Although I would be getting my ducks in a row and planning to get rid.

Edited to add - I'm sure kids will be fine and it may be turn out better for them anyway in the long run. Especially with wrap around care.

Also if he does end up having an affair with the neighbour, at least your kids wouldn't be at the same schools!

People seriously need to RTWT and updates before commenting - it’s clear who has and hasn’t…

Any woman who is simpering around another women’s husband and leaving her own ‘care package’ (ffs!) in his property is making a claim. Like a previous poster said - marking territory so she is not ‘forgotten’ or has access to ask for it back. Blanking the wife is a major red flag too.

Your DH seems to be in a white knight syndrome - what he sees as being friendly and helpful she sees as possible interest.

If you are both together and she’s speaking to him - give him a hug and watch her expression… (from experience, my dh was hugging me and I got the dirtiest look from overstepping boundaries woman, who would not even look at me. We were at a kids play event!)

Moving the kids school is a big decision, but appears to be better for them, and cuts the damsel in distress from their supply, they may move on. What do the kids think of the woman during their school run? Kids can pick up on uncomfortable feelings.

How strange?
Why isn't your husband allowed to help a neighbour? Why do you feel threatened by it and why are you using your children to control your husband?

I think youre insane. Honestly. You say you trust him but you obviously don't. You said, "I trust him, but not her", but it takes two to tango. How dare a man have a freewill? If it was a man he was walking with, and enjoying talking to, would you react the same way? No, is the answer. You're being controlling and domineering and if you carry on like this you won't HAVE a marriage!

Is there more to this? So you suspect your husband is flirting with/interested in this neighbour?

It does sound very extreme and making yourself look very insecure, unless of course you have reason to feel insecure? Would you feel the same if your husband reacted the same to you giving another man a lift? I don’t know all the facts but I think your marriage needs looking at, if I felt so strongly then I wouldn’t be married to someone I couldn’t trust

100% this!!

OP, just wow, your off your trolley dealing with it this way. I feel super sorry for the kids in this.

I was going to say you overreacted by moving your children. But it seems to be with her reaction to your husband there might be something more to it. So I changed it from you are being unreasonable to not being unreasonable. Something just did not sit right with me when she confronted your husband like that.

Does your DH know you don't trust him?
You can't stop anything happening with anyone by moving children to different schools.

OP whatever insecurities you have please look into how you can handle them before you do more uprooting to your child’s life. This pattern of behaviour is the type they notice and remember, and you don’t want to risk straining your relationship in the future.

Am I reading this right? You do realise if he IS having some sort of relations with this neighbour she is a neighbour and he can continue doing that no matter where your kids go to school? Very short sighted of you OP and ridiculous! You've probably just made your life a lot more difficult.

What was about the situation was irrirating you? If he has a history of cheating or flirting then fair enough, other than that I can't see why you would do this

You must be so Insecure. I pity you

At first I thought a) YABU and b) this is a 'click-bait' post. But after RTWT I've changed my mind. The new school has positive advantages. Not least, better wrap-around care. As it's nearer your work, you will be able to do drop-offs/collects, which will connect you, 1st-hand, with other parents & life at the school gates. You think / have heard it's a better school - this is significant. All this and you manage to dump the importunate neighbour. I'm on your side OP.

If nothing is going on i would find it completely normal for a neighbour my DH regularly did pick ups for to say something about him not mentioning it.

My problem would be you told DH his rship with her was a problem and he didnt care.

You need to grow the fuck up! What if you'd made friends with a male dropping his kids off at school? Guess it would be different then! What a pathetic excuse to move your children to a different school! Mind you nothing surprises me on MN these days! 🙄

What an odd reaction to giving a neighbours child a lift !
Easier just end the lifts !

Was your child happy there? Seems bonkers to put a child through upheaval because dad made friends ?!

This is more like a storyline from EastEnders than real life.
Granted your neighbour seems like a first class bitch who has the hots for your husband and wants to keep you at arms length. Not nice, I get that but moving your child’s school - that’s a big thing to do and will never be forgotten - by anyone.
i hope this doesn’t backfire on you.

Unless there's a lot more that you haven't said yes you are being unreasonable and you have made your child into a pawn in a struggle with your husband. In his place I would have had a great deal to say about you unilatterally changinjg schools has he learned not to challenge you or engage with decision making. Like I said unless there's a lot more history you are being unreasonable and it is exactly this bbehyaviour in either men or women that drive people out of relationships

Sure, that's the reason!

Does this neighbour drive?

You poor kid. Like a pawn in a game. If my husband micro managed & didnt trust me. He be gone. I hope your husband sees sense. You are extreme and very selfish. You kid has to up and leave their friends because Mummy is insecure