AIBU to change schools over my husband helping a neighbour?

You put your DC through a school move because your DH wouldn't stop giving your neighbour a lift! You are being very unreasonable.
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To be fair to OP, how many people here would feel comfortable about a neighbour blanking them, staring adoringly at DH, and creating a "personal care pack" in his car. The latter being very strange behaviour indeed.
I think it might be a case of having to meet this woman, to understand.

Poor child, poor husband, you sound unhinged.

So you have taken your children away from all their friends because your husband was giving a lift to a neighbour. Thats what people do, its called being neighbourly. Of course you would give someone a lift if their kids were at the same school and you had the room. I find it quite unbelievable that you have done this.

That's quite extreme and totally unfair to your kids if it's a jealousy thing you might need to give your head a little wobble and question your relationship/marriage!!

If you are that insecure why didn't you speak to your Husband?

This 👆 so rather than address the issue with your husband, you put your children through a huge upheaval. They will need to make new friends and may be ‘picked on’ because they are the new kids. Wow!

Yes, I'm sad to mention this is exactly what I was just wondering too🙏

Lol x

It’s pretty crazy your DH was happy for you to move your DC schools to stop him hanging out with the NDN rather than just not doing that after you asked. Her “care package” in your car is fucking weird and yes, she just does sound really very strange indeed… But so does your DH.

Right! I'd be bringing that care package to her. Here you left this in our car.

You really did this? Changed your child's school because you did not like your husband walking with or giving a lift to a neighbour on the journey? So are you going to move house, too?

I think you went about this the wrong way. It would bother me if a female neighbor was chatty with my husband but ignores me and I would not want hubby doing one on one things with her in that case like school drop off and such. My husband wouldn't care much about a random neighbor though so would be no skin off his nose to stop doing school drop off with her. I think your issue is your husband worrying more about random neighbor's feelings than yours. But changing schools was the wrong way to handle it IMO because it doesn't solve the base problem and she is still your neighbor.

You sound jealous, over bearing and controlling

Wow. You need to talk to him about these issues as this is a HUGE over reaction

I just don’t like how she acts she also rarely speaks to me on many occasions has blanked me totally

This would be a red flag to me personally. Only because I had a similar experience with a neighbour before we moved some years ago. When we moved there initially, she spoke with us both absolutely fine. My dh is a self employed tradesperson, and did some work for her. She asked him to do other stuff outside of his trade, but which he could do. Absolutely no problem. Then she started blanking me, out of the blue, and rarely spoke to me, whilst still being very chatty with dh. I was then told by another neighbour who I was friendly with that this particular neighbour had said she was very attracted to my dh. I’m guessing, when I thought about it, that she checked out of speaking to me, to distance herself from me in the event she got somewhere with dh. I trusted him though and didn’t mention it to him, as didn’t want to create drama. We moved, not as a result of that, and that was the end of it. But I’d certainly trust your spidery senses OP. Easier to deal with potential situation now, than further down the line when it might be too late.

Omg your poor dc and DH?!?!? Controlling much…. Like this is the most bizarre behaviour ever. Using your kids to control your husbands behaviours towards a neighbour wth! Are you planning on moving too as surely they will still see each other?!?!?

I’m actually on your side here, and I don’t think you’re being unreasonable.

If this woman is the only woman that gives you a gut feeling where your husband is concerned, then I don’t think you’re mad to act on it at all. Especially if the children will be happy at the new school, and it fits better with wraparound care/allowing both of you to do the school run.

However, she’s giving you a gut feeling for a reason. The chances are, that isn’t just because they do the school run together so I would still try to work out where that intuition is coming from.

You clearly have an issue. You moved your kids school because you don’t trust your husband. This won’t change the issue, you’ve just unsettled your kids.

I get where you are coming from OP. The neighbour's behaviour in DH's car/on the school run is the specific problem which you have eliminated by changing schools. Her reaction confirms your suspicions.
You can now observe what happens next.

So instead of putting your big girl pants on and speaking to the neighbour and firming up boundaries, you have completely changed your children’s school?
Your poor children. Get some marriage counselling or get rid of hubby if you can’t trust him or he doesn’t respect your boundaries.

Initially I thought you sounded completely unhinged, but tbh having read more of the comments, I understand your concerns a little better OP. It sounds like DH is gaslighting you when your spidey senses are, quite rightly, tingling? Your neighbour does sound odd, &, as a single mum myself I would never want anyone to think I was going after their husband and I would do everything in my power to prove to them that they have nothing to worry about. Accepting help once in a while, absolutely, because being a single mum is hard, but she is overstepping the mark. That said, it is up to your husband to set boundaries. He is the one who made vows, not her, & it sounds like you need to have a long hard talk about that. The talk about schools is, or should be, entirely separate. Is it honestly the best thing for the children to move school? If they are better off at their current school, you’re unreasonable for moving them. If there is a valid reason, other than their dad’s behaviour, & they will be better off, for changing school, ok. Your relationship is the issue, though, not the school or the inappropriate neighbour.

Exactly!

Not unreasonable but tbh, if you're at the point of switching schools so impacting your child and their friendship groups over this, maybe it's your partner you need to leave and not the school.

The neighbour is being weird and I would have a conversation with them too about boundaries.

She leaves a bag of her stuff (the care package you described) in your husband's car for the school run? That is nuts. Why hasn't he tackled it? Very odd.