AIBU to change schools over my husband helping a neighbour?

You must be so Insecure. I pity you

I'm sorry this is weird behaviour towards your Husband and unfair to the Child, you are making their lives miserable

But the OP has said they are new to the area and didn’t get their first choice of schools and it works well to move the kids.

This is beyond bizarre. But I assume you've ascertained this from the responses, but it bothers you none.

I'm just appalled that 14% of respondents think that changing schools on this basis is reasonable

Good for you for not pretending it's all normal, and for seeing her for what she is.

I'd never forgive him for humiliating you in the first place. He obviously knows she's heavily interested in him and has been reciprocating at least verbally. It must feel very satisfying to pull the rug right out from under her in this way.

But if he's determined to fuck her/continue flirting with her, he will. As you say though at least you won't have to see her at school.

After reading your OP and replies, I find it funny that mums net always say trust your gut then turn around and slam you for trusting your gut. If your husband wont listen and shes blanking you and leaving stuff in his car thats weird. Why do both of them need to do the school run? Trust your gut she wants something.

No - stop making the husband's poor management of this situation, the OP's fault!
She has already stated that her h has other female friends and there's no issue. Neighbour has been way out of line and h has not had his wife's back. This is on him for failing to shut down the neighbour.
Personally, I would struggle to remain married to someone who, at best was weak and pathetic and at worst, disloyal.

Couple of things. I mean obviously everyone has already pointed out how wild this is! But have you ever spoken to her to address her over familiar-ness? The car pack is odd and I’d question that for sure, but actually to her. Also have you ever thought how this looks to your DH? The level of distrust it implies? That you’d uproot and move your kids school because you’re concerned he’d have an affair with a neighbour ?! The fact he didn’t challenge this move makes me wonder just how much of your insecurities he’s having to manage. You’re effectively pushing him away.

Your later messages definitely add important context- you seem to believe that the new school will be better for DC anyway plus will be easier for you if you end up having to do majority of drop offs but it does seem that you have just avoided the bigger problem.

In terms of the neighbour, a 'care pack' is monumentally weird and disrespectful to you. I think your instincts are correct BUT his behaviour is his behaviour. Would he be happy if your roles were reversed? As others have said, your DH priority should be you and he should be making clear to the neighbour that he isn't interested.

I spent the whole thread thinking OP was unreasonable until I read about this woman's car 'care pack'. Immediately convinced that this neighbour is so annoying that any course of action that creates a pain in the arse for her is reasonable.

I mean seriously?? What’s wrong with being neighbourly? I took a neighbours child to school throughout one of my children’s time at primary School. We had a car they didn’t it was a bit far for walking

My DH sometimes walks with his Ex girlfriend when picking DS up as she lives near us and has a kid at the same school.

never batted an eyelid as a trust my DH totally

It is certainly strange the neighbour having her own "care pack" in the car. Surely DH could have just told her to take it out as it's really not appropriate? I wouldn't dream of parking my stuff in someone else's car like that just because they gave me school run lifts. Sounds like stuff she could just keep her in her bag. DH seems to be very passive in this whole neighbour thing. That would have disturbed me.

Your guts are certainly hearing the alarm being set off and something must have felt odd for your to change your kids school due to being this uncomforable. Maybe 18 months is a long time for your husband to be over- friendly (?) with another woman. He is not the best of fathers as he should have listened to your request and never allowed you to go as far as taking such drastic action. It's obvious your marriage would bebefit of some counselling. It looks as if he is used to normalising stepping over your boundaries in teltion to contact with ither women. Men should spend time with other males. Big red flag here. Good luck.

16 pages lol, well done

Bit OTT O.P
Does that reaction not seems a little intense?

You are being extremely unreasonable.

On gods earth, what is wrong with walking/sharing lifts. The kids are your next door neighbours!!

I agree with your point, but to address it by taking her children out if school and sending them to another one is appalling!

The child’s needs should come first

Wow, just, wow. Did you move from wales to North England to escape a similar would-be temptress acquaintance?

Bizarre behaviour on your part.
She is still a neighbour though. So your DH can chat to her.

Why on earth did your husband allow her to leave lip balm etc in his car. A pack of tissues I can understand, if it's winter and DH never has those kinds of things in his car and she has got fed up of asking but surely she can just keep it in her handbag.

She's lonely and single. Not worth changing schools over.
I'd be wondering why DH is entertaining it?!
My DH would tell me immediately and we'd think of a way to let her down gently.

If she was fawning all over my DH I would find it hilarious as he would be so embarrassed and probably a bit terrified 😂.

Honestly OP the focus needs to be your DH. Why does he want the attention of other women?!

I agree putting that in his car is weird and over stepping, I don’t understand how he doesn’t see this and wouldn’t just stop it.

What if the neighbour moves their child to your new school?