Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to change schools over my husband helping a neighbour?

434 replies

Schoolchanging · 23/08/2026 11:46

Dh had always done school drop off and pick up due to my work hours and over the last 18 months I’d got increasingly irritated by him walking with or giving a lift to a neighbour whose child goes to the same school.

So I decided we would change dc to a different school a little further away and they are due to start there in a couple of weeks.

I didn’t want to spend time on discussions and boundaries and wanted to just eliminate the stress on our relationship. I told him I wasn’t comfortable that I’d asked him to stop and as he wasn’t I was changing schools to which he said ‘fine that’s your choice’. Dc are ok about it as we know people who go to the new school as well.

Neighbour has just spoken to us as we were leaving at the same time and she said to dh ‘back to the usual routine soon then!’ And I said ‘actually no, dc are going to be at a different school so all change for us !’ To which she turned to dh and said ‘why haven’t you told me this already?’ Which I found odd.

OP posts:
BigYellowBus · 23/08/2026 12:45

Is this a reverse and your the neighbour living next door to a batshit crazy woman?

And is it really that easy to change schools?

chirrupybird · 23/08/2026 12:45

If he's up to something with the neighbour changing the kids school won't stop it. But it will disrupt your children's lives and education.

I would imagine she was really surprised to suddenly find out that she won't have help with the school run any more, it would have been nice to give her some warning if she is relying on the help.

shhblackbag · 23/08/2026 12:42

It's nuts to me that 8% of people on this thread find OP reasonable.

stichguru · 23/08/2026 12:41

Your poor kid. Mummy puts her insecurities over her relationship before his well being. Kids and families walk to school together all the time. When my kid was in primary like we like near the school, I walked with the dad from opposite a lot, and the mum from the opposite way and the dad from up the street, because we all had to walk over the SAME BIT of street to get to school, and THE SAME time to get to school at the right time. Plus when the kids were in year 6, the parents could just pull out and the kids walked together. You probably need to deal with you insecurities about you husband and stop punishing your kid for your odd issues.

ohnowhat · 23/08/2026 12:41

This, and the other school mum post this morning are going down well with my bucket of popcorn.

Loulou4022 · 23/08/2026 12:40

Does your husband have form for cheating? If not this is a very bizarre and controlling reaction! And tbh even if he does have form you should be thinking of leaving him not moving the children’s schools!!

Ponoka7 · 23/08/2026 12:40

It isn't odd, they are school-parent-friends and a child changing schools is a big event, not that you (or your DH) give a shit, so you'd expect it mentioned, to a neighbour you chat to. Have you considered that she's a decoy and the lollipop lady is the real OW?

shhblackbag · 23/08/2026 12:39

Your children are paying the price for your batshit behaviour. How unhinged.

BudgetBuster · 23/08/2026 12:37

JLou08 · 23/08/2026 12:00

I hope this is a made up story. Absolutely bonkers if not. Poor children. Poor husband.

This 💯
I've read some bonkers stories on MN but this a new level of unreasonable

HowardsWahey · 23/08/2026 12:37

This is insane. I'm hoping it's a joke,

ErlingHaalandsManBun · 23/08/2026 12:37

PinkKimonos · 23/08/2026 12:30

Did you post about this before, OP? I seem to remember some profoundly odd thread by someone resenting the hell out of her DH giving school run lifts to the neighbour.

I remember that thread and it does sound like the same poster.

blythet · 23/08/2026 12:35

Raraskirtsagogo · 23/08/2026 12:23

There are some really bizarre threads on MN today. This being one of them....

And 8% of people think she’s being reasonable. So while I think it’s a fake post the response is worrying enough

PickyTits · 23/08/2026 12:32

Are they holding hands on this walk to school?

Nipping in the bush for a quickie en route?

A fumble in a nearby bus stop?

If no then you may be being hugely unreasonable.

Is there a particular reason you don't trust your husband or is the neighbour drop dead gorgeous and that's making you feel insecure?

ThatBreezyScroller · 23/08/2026 12:32

Surely it would just be easier to separate from the man who you don’t trust.

(not that I believe a word of this).

PinkKimonos · 23/08/2026 12:30

Did you post about this before, OP? I seem to remember some profoundly odd thread by someone resenting the hell out of her DH giving school run lifts to the neighbour.

PurplebudsWhitebuds · 23/08/2026 12:29

Are you leaving out some important details OP? Is there stuff going on that indicates your H and this neighbour are , or are becoming , too enmeshed and close?

If there is something going on surely given they are your neighbours your H is going to be seeing her regularly any way regardless of what school your children go to.

Raraskirtsagogo · 23/08/2026 12:23

There are some really bizarre threads on MN today. This being one of them....

SatansScrotum · 23/08/2026 12:21

Are you insane? You've moved your kids and put them through fuckloads of disruption just to manipulate a situation in your relationship to your advantage.

Toxic as fuck.

VickyEadie · 23/08/2026 12:21

And yet the neighbour still lives nearby - if he wanted to cheat, he very much still could...

dreamingofgoodhair · 23/08/2026 12:19

MyArtfulGreySloth · 23/08/2026 11:55

This is bat 💩 you changed you children’s school rather than confront your husband in his behaviour? wtf 😳

What behaviour ?

TrunkElliot · 23/08/2026 12:18

😳

NullaEffugium · 23/08/2026 12:17

That’s very controlling of you OP. You need to get help before you fall afoul of being a domestic abuser under coercive and controlling behaviour.

blythet · 23/08/2026 12:16

pasturesgreen · 23/08/2026 12:02

What happens when your DH will inevitably meet new people at the new school? Will you move schools again?
Unless there's a backstory of cheating, this is rather bizarre behaviour.

Even if there is a backstory of cheating this is insane. She should be dumping her H and giving the kids a stable life instead of upending their lives to control her H

LBFseBrom · 23/08/2026 12:15

feathermucker · 23/08/2026 11:47

Unless he has previous form for cheating/lying, this seems an extreme reaction.

what bothered you about the neighbour?

Yes, I wondered that. It's quite normal for people on the same school run to walk or offer lifts. It wouldn't have bothered me one bit and I certainly wouldn't have made my child change schools because of it.

She said nothing wrong, was just surprised he hadn't mentioned the school change is all. Most people would have.

Are you always so insecure?

PancakeCloud · 23/08/2026 12:12

Controlling and horrible. Your poor DC.