AIBU to change schools over my husband helping a neighbour?

This is absolutely mental.

So you know he's only seeing/talking to her on the school run, a busy walk with the kids and other parents constantly there, so nothing could conceivably happen. You aren't worried about living next door to her or him seeing her in any other capacity. But you've uprooted your kids to a different school??

What happens if you start (gasp) walki and talking with a dad when you do the school run? Will your husband be allowed to unilaterally decide to move them??

I find it hard to believe that any mother would change her child's school because she was jealous of the neighbour her DH was giving a lift to. I don't think this is real, but if it is, that's terrible thing you did to your kid.

(Why does this British website default to American spelling?)

Erm in most schools there are thirty parents per class. Some of those parents are people who are weird. Some of them will think you are weird.

changing school because you have a “bad feeling” about another school mum is very very unusual behaviour.

I’m going to assume that you have MH issues around anxiety because it is totally normal for children who go to the same school to walk there together and if your dh said to your neighbour that he had been forbidden by you to walk to school with her and her kids she would assume you are extremely controlling.

this is very abnormal behaviour for the U.K.,

controlling much?

this is way over the top, no need to move the kids.

God, poor kids.

OP, you need to understand that children often say they are ok with things that make them very unhappy in order to appease or 'parent' a parent.

It's really awful that you've put them through this in order to soothe your own insecurity. Even if you're right and your husband can't be trusted, you need to deal with adult issues as adults, not through your kids.

Yes, this. Just rip the band aid off and face the issues in your marriage (whether that’s your trust issues or him cheating) rather than telling yourself that changing schools will help.

Exactly. You seem focused on tackling the logistics of this issue rather than confronting the big issue in your life which is that you don’t trust your husband.

Moving school, moving home etc is all papering over the cracks. If your husband wants to cheat he would cheat if you moved him to Uzbekhistan. You won’t fix this until you confront the fundamental problem in your marriage.

Meanwhile your children are collateral damage in this petty point scoring.

Deal with your marriage first before you start uprooting the family.

@shuggles
If this is something that you are sensitive about that stresses you, then you should have had a relationship with a man who does not speak to women. Instead, you chose a man who talks to other women and has friendships with them. That was your decision and your choice.

I would actually recommend therapy for OP to deal with her issues over recommending she find a man who is genuinely willing to not speak to women and not also a misogynist, as usually the two go together.

You are incredibly selfish, paranoid and controlling. Not to mention batshit. Where are your children’s best interests in all of this? Bottom of the pile. Those poor kids.

I think you have female intuition and you used it. It was in that territory.

There has to be a bcakstory here? It's pretty extreme to change schools because your husband is friendly with another woman? I often walk the kids to school with the Dad from a family on my street. It hasn't occurred ro my husband to have an issue with this, letalone move the kids to a different school to stop it. Why does your marriage have these trust issues, has your DH cheated in the past?

@Schoolchanging Moving your children to a different school because you don't like your husband speaking to women is absolutely insane.

If this is something that you are sensitive about that stresses you, then you should have had a relationship with a man who does not speak to women. Instead, you chose a man who talks to other women and has friendships with them. That was your decision and your choice.

Neighbour has just spoken to us as we were leaving at the same time and she said to dh ‘back to the usual routine soon then!’ And I said ‘actually no, dc are going to be at a different school so all change for us !’ To which she turned to dh and said ‘why haven’t you told me this already?’ Which I found odd.

How on earth is that strange?

1. Woman was expecting a return to a familiar routine.
2. She was suddenly told that the routine won't be happening.
3. She expresses surprise and asks why she wasn't told.

So you found it odd that a woman said something that was completely normal and expected in every way?

Moving your children to a different school based on a vague “bad feeling” was a thoroughly unhinged decision. Lunacy.

And yet you went for the original school. Of course you've told yourself the other one us better to justify your decision. An entirely self centred decision.

Your behaviour is crazy. If you are going to the same place together at the same time it can make sense to go together.

If he wants to sleep with her, he’ll do it no matter what school your kids go to.

But this isn’t going to make that problem go away.

You have a trust issue in relation to your husband and this woman. Have you told him his relationship with her makes you uncomfortable?

I have no idea if he is behaving inappropriately with her or if its in your head but this is the issue, not the school run. You need to confront the issues in the marriage rather than tinkering around the edges trying to control other things in your environment which he can get around if he does want to cheat.

I fear my sarcasm didn’t come across enough.

Parent speaking to another parent and carpooling the school run does not warrant any sort of reaction from anyone - it’s a very normal thing to happen (much less selling a house or moving schools).

Makes absolutely no sense.

If I was your partner I would really put my ducks in a row.

There's children in this relationship too who should take priority over adult idiocy.

This is actually mental.

I hope the house is up for sale too because you are definitely under reacting if all you’ve done is move the kids’ schools. She’s a NEIGHBOUR. He’ll see her at home if not at the school!

In fact, it might be worth starting your own affair now just to even the score.

Extreme reaction, just glad the new school turns out to be good for your child.