AIBU to change schools over my husband helping a neighbour?

I’d imagine the “why didn’t you tell me before now” was more a realisation that she now has only ten days to sort out how to do the school run next year rather than an accusation of intimacy betrayed.

Wow this is a level of jealousy that’s disturbing,

To us it is but from the OPs posts, they have already got friends at both schools, the new school is bigger and better a d is convenient to drop the kids off on the way to work. So less mad, more workable

So isn't an extreme reaction, to say the least, to just change the kids school? In what range of normal rational behaviour is that even on the scale?

My post saying you’re a loon got deleted so I’ll say it again, you’re a loon

Good lord talk about an overreaction. You need serious therapy love

I think we all call guano. This is the most absolutely ridiculous post I've read ...and there's a high bar.

You sound unhinged

You are completely bonkers.
Over reacting, controlling, and totally batshit.

Your poor children.

Can you imagine the response if a man had posted he had moved his dc from their school because his wife walked to school and chatted with a neighbour!

Absolutely batshit.

Exactly! Absolutely ridiculous response from the OP.

I do agree this is not going to fix things in the long run

Again though, the point is not so much paranoia vs reality. The point is the way the OP is choosing to tackle it.

None of us can know if there is really an issue with this particular woman or if its in OP’s head. Her gut might be right.

But she won’t be able to deal with it by uprooting her children from their schools. If there is something going on with this woman it will carry on as she’s a neighbour. If there isn’t, OP has needlessly raised her husband’s hackles by controlling him and caused loads of unnecessary upheaval for her family.

You can’t manage infidelity or trust issues by policing other people’s behaviour and interactions with others.

The OP needs to understand what’s going on in her marriage before she starts putting up heavy handed “boundaries” which create massive grief for other people.

What on earth have I just read?!.

Seriously OP you need to work on your trust issues. Changing schools because of this is extreme.

Ive read thru already. I think an opinion has been formed by the poster and this person gives her bad vibes. Thats it. Maybe the neighbour is overstepping? Get your kid to school yourself. It might be the neighbour is creating situations were she can be dependent and thankful to the husband. Maybe the neighbour is a bit of an unfriendly, stuck up wotsit?

Loads of women think they're being paranoid, until it turns out that they weren't!

She's still your neighbour - are you planning to move house too?

Talk about paranoid.

Even if this is true and the OP’s “gut” is telling her something (as opposed to raging paranoia), the idea that moving schools will resolve the issue is delusional.

If the husband is having an affair with this woman, or even thinking about it, he will find a way.

All this does is create huge upheaval and unsettle the children, without tackling the root issue, which is the lack of trust in the marriage.

Cool story bro.

Or you’re a fucking nut job

Actually, your gut is telling you to beg wary. Moving schools has other benefits for you, so crack on.

our instincts don’t often ping for no reason

Boiled rabbit for tea tonight ?

You remind me of the pilot husband and wife from Come Fly with Me when the wife trains as a pilot just so she can keep her eye on him. Bit of an extreme reaction when your DH hasn't even had an affair.

So if a neighbour blanked you, but cosied up to your husband, you'd be okay with him continuing to talk to her? Do the school run with her? You wouldn't find it disloyal behaviour on his part, since married couples are supposed to value each other above everyone else? Because I would. If anyone is rude to me, my dh doesn't act all friendly with them. I'd expect him to shut that right down.

Still seems like an extreme measure ; change schools for your dc just so your dh doesn't see the neighbour during school runs. What is to stop him helping out with other things? Maybe she needs some practical help? Or maybe just someone to talk to and she will call your dh. She lives next door so they are bound to see each other. And if there is mutual attraction they will find ways.

I feel sorry for your dh unless there are grounds for your suspicions. He also seems to be a wet lettuce letting you change schools because you're jealous. Maybe he will find other attractive mums to help out at New school that you won't even know about because not neighbours. Better lock him in. Or that's right you will be doing the school run now. And don't allow him to drive your dc to activities- you never know. Bonkers.

You sound like hard work