AIBU to think a 10pm bedtime and 6am start is relatively normal in your 40s?

I'm up at 6:25am, because I need to be leaving the house at 7:10 or 7:40, depending which shift I'm on. I've got my "getting ready routine" down to an art, and don't think I could leave getting up much later.
I've always needed quite a lot of sleep, so most work nights I'm thinking of heading up for my shower and bed any time between 8:30 and 9:30pm!

I think if you have a child-free life, you have more flex over your sleep and waking times….

I was always a night owl but having children has pushed me into a 10-5 (or 9-5…) sleep schedule.

If I wasn’t woken up at the crack of dawn by children / need to get everyone ready / commuting - I’d probably sleep later. And then I’d be less tired / worried about the morning - so I could stay up later!

I fear I’m probably trapped in this routine for life now.

I also want to know.

I think there is a differentiation between readers and non readers. I couldn’t have an 11pm bedtime because I would then be reading until midnight and tired the next day. So I have a 10ish bedtime to make sure I’m actually sleeping by 11pm after reading.

Getting up at 6am when you don't need to seems like madness to me. But if doesn't matter what I, or anyone else, thinks - there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

There is nothing wrong with being a night owl either though - just an incompatibility.

They’re pretty much my times too.

Sounds pretty normal, I’m more like 11pm (actually asleep before 12am)-7am wake up, so the same amount of sleep, pretty normal really if you have a job.
I’d probably prefer bed earlier if I lived alone but like having an hour to watch something I like after DDs have gone to bed (eldest is 15 so normally goes up about 10pm).
I never have lie ins any more, I’ll get up and take a coffee back to bed sometimes on the weekend but can’t actually sleep much later on weekends compared to work days

Why?

Sounds ideal to me! I'm in my 40s and a single parent, so I'm used to getting up at 7am on school mornings. I don't even bother trying to have lie ins these days, because I know I'll be wide awake 😂

You’ve never had an 8am meeting?

His bossy self-absorption is depressingly normal (but definitely best swerved).

Your level of self-doubt and need for external validation is unusual.

You and he have different lifestyles. So what?

Any relationship is based on mutual respect and this bloke didn’t respect you.

I don't think its reasonable or unreasonable. You schedule your life to suit you. Not sure why its bothering you if he is now an ex?

Normal! I'm asleep usually by 9.30 up at 5.30/6am. Apart from today I slept in till 10am must of needed it!

I've had that routine since I was about secondary school age I think.

Surely you both have the wisdom to understand everyone's life is different and comes with different waking up times?
I hate this idea of someone saying is this normal and people argueing if it's normal or not like their view of the world applys to everyone's life, we all live very different lives.
Some people don't sleep well, some people can't sleep past 5am, some people have medical issues, some people have young children, some people live on a busy street that's bouncing until 11pm.
You live your life how it works for you and he can do the same.

I do exactly this every day so for me it’s normal. I go to bed at about 10, wake up at 6:50 and I’m in work for 8 o clock.

No routine. What time I got up and went to bed depended entirely on what time I had to be at work in the morning. Which varied.

Your routine sounds normal.

Most women I know are managing work, domestic duties and kids so getting up at 6/6.30 on an aoverage school and work day is necessary.

It doesn’t surprise me in the least to read this:

Men are more likely than women to go to bed later at night: 43% of men go to bed from around 11:30pm onwards compared to 32% of women.

All the adults I know who sit up late watching films/gaming are male. I think it’s because they have fewer life responsibilities to get up for.

And yes while it’s not intrinsically teenage to have a late bedtime IMO it often goes hand in hand with having light life responsibilities.

Yep I'm an early bird at a similar age to you. I love it and am very protective of my early to bed curfew. Dh is bemused but we make it work.

I also think it's totally normal to be needing to offload post relationship and find it interesting to read too. I think the posters who don't should scroll by.

Please tell us more -
How did the breakup come about?
What other annoying opinions and habits did he have?
Rant away.

Strange thing to be worrying about weeks later! He's got his opinion and you've got yours. Surely that's the end of it? Why are you still stressing weeks on?

I go to bed at around 10.30 - 11pm with our older dog, and my partner stays up til about midnight with our younger dog. Then we're both up around 6.55am for work. Earlier for him if he is driving to clients. I work from home but take it very seriously so am always up and working by 7.30am. Neither of us feel tired and I wouldn't sleep if I went to bed anything before 10.30pm.

I’m usually in bed about midnight, up at 6.45 on work days. Ideally I’d go to bed about 1 and sleep until 9ish. I’d feel like I had no evening if I went to bed as early as 10pm, but I think it’s just personal preference.

I get up about the same time as you, when I am tired I go to bed earlier than you. Probably do that a couple of times a week - I need it. After recovering from living with an abusive partner who intentionally disturbed my sleep, I do not allow anyone to dictate my bedtime routine. It is nobody’s business but yours.

I don't think it's normal judging from when most of my friends send me WhatsApps. And yes, they do all work! I think most people get up a bit later like 7/7.30am and go to bed at 11/12 or so. I know one guy who is strict on his bedtime and is up at 6, including weekends!!

I'm definitely not normal, need a lot of sleep so I usually sleep after lunch as well just to keep up. I am early 50s but I've needed lots of sleep for my whole life.

I start work at 7.30,get up at 6ish. I dont have an alarm on the weekend but i get up at similar time. I go upstairs when I feel like it, sometimes ill watch TV in bed other times I will go straight to sleep but I dont like to go to bed any later than 11

No-one is wrong or right - just horses for courses....it's just that as you found out you and your ex are running different races and are better off in different stables!