AIBU to think a 10pm bedtime and 6am start is relatively normal in your 40s?

God, men who go around explaining life to women are the pits. He's probably still wondering why you were mad enough to dump such a prize.

For me, it's more like 11pm/7am, but I start at 9 and have a short commute (and DS is now an adult so no school run). Even if it wasn't the standard, so what? Not everybody lives the same life. I mean, most people aren't asleep at lunchtime, but most people don't work night shifts. People start work at different times; people have different commutes (or none); some people find it works for them to do other stuff before work. And different people need different amounts of sleep. He's an arse.

You wasn't compatible. The getting up and going to bed us neither here or there, so I haven't voted. It's the mindset of there only being one way to do things, that makes one person in a relationship, wrong.
I get up at 6, I go to bed around 11.30, but zi have ten minute power naps, always have done. I wouldn't be with someone who went to bed as early as you. I'd also want a weekend lie in.

To be fair that would have been clearer if I’d said an alarm at 6 or earlier is only necessary for a flight before 8 :)

But I never get to the airport more than an hour before an EU or domestic UK flight, though of course nowadays I do allow more time on the return from the EU. But in that case I don’t book a flight too early!!

I've spent my entire working career in large, private client law firms. I've never had an 8a.m meeting. There is absolutely no need for it.

Ive always found this the other way round to be honest, people that go to bed 'early' are seen as childish or stupid or 'less than' in some way, derided etc.

Well of course, this is just an example of the competitive nature of this forum, people can travel round the world for months at a time with nothing more than a clutch bag, people can drive from each end of the country in the exact time that Google maps says it will take and never face hours of gridlock or time taken for toilet stops, people can manage a whole family's washing in 3 loads per week, people can decorate a bedroom in one weekend and still have time for a leisurely brunch on the Sunday, people can get tradesmen for prices last seen in 1965

And if you need to be at the airport for a flight at 8am, of course you only set your alarm at 6, in one minute you can get up, eat, wash, finalise your packing (what packing - Im only taking my wallet) get to the airport for your 2 hour check in requirement.

I go to bed between 12.30 to as late as 2 p. m. I get up around 8.30 to start work at 10.00. I work until around 7p.m or later.

I really hate the patronising, holier than thou some early to bed/early risers have towards night owls.

I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone who goes to bed at 22.00.

I hate this idea that early risers are somehow morally superior. I’ve seen people say that it’s because people are less likely to be productive in the evening. I stayed at a family member’s house the other week. I came downstairs at 9 am, showered and dressed and ready for the day. “Good afternoon” says she. Give me strength. It was the day after my mother’s funeral.

Do you live at the airport? 😂😂

I refuse to believe that anyone who does not live at the airport is setting an alarm for less than two hours before their flight departs.

Plenty, but none that would require a 6am alarm. A 6am alarm is only necessary for a flight before 8!

Well I would say you dont have to stand up and disagree. Let someone think what they like, what does it matter. Im not a whole big fan of the 'let them' theory, but in this case, definitely 'let them'. You're bigger and better, so who cares what he thinks.

The other thing I try to do is thought blocking techniques, I picture a closing garage door slamming down and trapping the person or the words or the sounds in the garage and then I walk down the drive away from the closed garage. But I have to repeat it a lot, over and over. And different people find different things work for them.

Same here.

In the week yes. At weekend if you weren't more flexible can see why it may have been a bit annoying. But also not wrong.

Goodness, I start thinking about going to bed at about 8:30 and am generally up at 6am. I’m much more productive and happy that way.

I don't have children, and I'm about the same age.

Firstly, I think you're too invested in what he thinks. He's destabalised your view of something very obvious and you need to come on Mumsnet to tell you that your routine is entirely normal for your age group, including people who don't have children.

If he had a brain, he would be able to calculate that most people need around 8 hrs sleep, often longer if they're not sleeping deeply or their sleep is distractible. If you have to get up at 7am (which is normal for a lot of people who have 9am starts and commutes that are an hour or more), then that's an 11pm bedtime, at the latest. Some people can cut that if they only need 7 hrs, or if they can get out of the house in 30 minutes, but longer than that is the norm I'd say.

Either he's thick, or he enjoys baiting you OP or making you doubt yourself for kicks.

Well it depends on your job and travel doesn’t it? I used to have a 1.5 hour commute so would sleep at 10pm and be up at 6am. Later on I got a WFH job and I still prefer to be in bed by 10pm but can afford to stay up til 11pm. I’m up at 7am to do the dog walk and school run before work starts. When’s there’s no school, I wake up at 8am. So it really depends on what time you start work, and any other responsibilities beforehand. Interesting you’re talking about the milk, butter & sugar thing. When I used full fat and sugar I never struggled with my weight. Lately I’ve switched to margarine and skimmed milk because of my gall bladder and I’ve gained weight! I can’t go back to full fat because of the gall bladder. But very interesting indeed, as I felt fuller for longer but now feel hungry a lot!

If you have any good tips for moving on then I'd be very grateful. Genuinely.

@Alwayschillyatnight Voodoo.

Honestly any rabbit hole of something you might have had a passing interest in but never really looked into it. Creepy Pasta is my go to rabbit hole. Read rather than watch helps too.

Fwiw partner is in his 20s, needs 8 hours of sleep or he's a grump. He has to leave for work at 6am so he is in bed before 10pm too. I function on a lot less sleep.

It was easy for him Op, if you roll out of bed 20 mins before work starts at home you can stay up til midnight.
You're brooding on it because you're not feeling well, put Netflix on and forget him, or make a little effigy of him out of butter and drown it some whole milk 😁

I'm in bed by 10 and up at 6 and I am retired.

Totally normal. He sounds ridiculous.

Ok im 33 but do goto bed alot later usually 11.30 to midnight, but i do try and wake with a run in the morning. Maybe in another 7 years things will have changed

That wouldn’t be enough sleep for me. I need nine hours ( the average is eight) so I’m in bed by 9 and hopefully asleep by 9:30. Alarm at 6:30.

If he is someone who needs less sleep, bully for him, but he doesn’t get to dictate your schedule.

We get up at 4.15am and are in bed by 8.30pm without fail. Even on a weekend or day off, we’re up by 5am.

I struggle to get to sleep after 10pm and regularly wake up at 5am (hormones).

Last time DH took DS away without me I ended up going to bed at 9pm. Then I had a 2 hour walk before work.

Up to you chick. For me midnight is an early night no matter what time I need to be revved up in the morning. I’ve always been this way. Night owl and cannot function in the mornings