AIBU to think a 10pm bedtime and 6am start is relatively normal in your 40s?

Go to bed between 10-10.30 - awake by 7.

Christ don’t let this one bother you .. pat yourself on the back for a lucky escape. We are up at 530 and pretty much in bed by 9 every night . He sounds a right one 😳

I dont know - ive always been a super late sleeper - last night was down about 130am and i was up at 8am today. When the kids go to school, im down by 1am, and up by 715am...

I don’t think it’s hugely weird for someone to go to bed at 10pm in their 40s, but I also don’t think it’s some kind of default standard.

I certainly don’t think wanting to go to bed later than 10pm is ‘living like a teenager’.

Personally, at the age of 50, I could never in a million years have a relationship with someone who wanted to be in bed by 10pm every night. It’s an instant ‘ick’ for me, to use a Mumsnet term.

That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with it, or with that person. It does mean we wouldn’t be at all compatible.

It’s really just an ‘each to their own’ thing.

I am not quite 40's but close.

I would say in my friendship group 9-9:30pm is the early end for bedtime for a few people, 10 ish is probably about the average and then a few night owls 11-midnight. Everyone is up between 5:30 - 6:30am (the early end all have small kids)

Personally I function fairly well on low sleep so I am usually 11-11:30pm and am up by 6:15am if the kids have slept in and anywhere from 5am onwards if not.

We did this all our working lives.

What’s less normal is you mulling over an ex’s opinion. He had an issue with your bedtime, you have made his opinion of your bedtime an issue. You are both kind of doing the same thing but over different details.

Human beings are not some homogeneous blob who all operate at the same time.
10pm is early for some, late for some and just right for some.

That's my exact routine. Pre-children though, I could not have entertained the idea of getting up at 6am and going to bed at 10.00 but now its normal. Getting up at 8am is a lie-in for me.

Think it depends on the distance people have to commute. When I worked in London in my 20s but loved in Gloucestershire I was up at 6.30 am and in bed around 11 pm.

In my 30s, 40s and now fifties my commute has usually been between 20-30 minutes, so I'm up at around 7.30 am and in bed around midnight.

Not everyone works office hours you know. I sometimes can finish work at 10 then start 8 the next day. At least 3 or 4 days a week I do this

So being in bed 9.30/10pm just wouldn't be useful

Yes, we wfh part time and work 11 am - 6 pm, because we get the state pension. It doesn’t matter what hours we work, so long as the work is done for the deadlines. If the client sends me the information at 5 pm, and the deadline is tomorrow, I’ll do it that night. DC are grown up, so it makes no difference to us, if we work all day, or evening or weekend! I can just take my weekend in the week, if I have to!

Everyone is different in the sleep requirements. I go to bed at around 12.30 and always wake up at 6.00. That's enough for me. I'm 76 and still working full time.

I go to sleep around 12 and get up at 7.30. but then I have a small child and if I went to bed at half 9 I'd be able to watch half of one episode of something rated 15 or 18 on telly.

I go to bed between 10 and 11pm, I read before sleep. Usually asleep between 11 and 11.30pm. Up 6.30 - 7 in the week and about 7 - 7.30 on a weekend.

Honestly most people I know in our 30s have moved onto this schedule!

I do have a couple of friends who are night owls and late risers but they’ve always been like that. They are the minority

Asshole behaviour of your ex. Don’t doubt yourself

Its how longs a piece of string question. Some people need more sleep then others. I personally need a lot of sleep.

I WFH go to bed around midnight get up at 8ish im not by nature a sleepy type of person. As a child went to bed 8/9ish for school as I became a teenager around 10pm. Never earlier than that. My mother is a night owl very fit slim and goes to bed around 2am she’s in 70s but gets up at 8ish every morning grandmother did same. No naps in day. Sleep patterns are inherited I believe. My older sister is in 50s and she’s up very late also now but looks about 15yrs younger than her age. So it’s all to do with genes in my opinion. My father always went to bed at 10pm and woke up at 6am.

I have lark-ish tendencies. My alarm is set for 6.15 on work days, and im generally in bed for 10 (lights out before half past).

DH is very much an owl. He really struggles to go to sleep before midnight. Fortunately he wfh the majority of the time, so can roll out of bed around 9am!

I did a lot of the early mornings with young kids. He is now doing much of the teenage taxi-ing at silly o'clock in the evenings!

Not normal for us but we are night owl 40 somethings!

I go to bed at 8.30pm i get to sleep about 6am. I get up about 11am. But i have a broken ankle and terrible sleep problem atm.

I try to be asleep by 11 as I get up at 6 o'clock 4 days a week, then at 5.30 on my office day. I walk the dog on the days I'm not in the office, hence getting up when I do so it's done in good time for me to start work.

Who are these people who prefer to get up at 10am? Don't they work?

ETA: I'm 49.

I go up to bed at 9pm, but that includes brushing and flossing teeth, doing stretches, taking vitamins, having a little doom scroll and then reading. I turn the light off around 10.15pm. I get up at 5.30am for work. I usually go to bed around the same time on a weekend and wake up between 6am and 7am. I’ve found keeping to a regular routine makes me sleep much better. Plus, I get a lot more done now!

Nearly fifty... Can't get to sleep before 11pm. We often go out for a walk in the late evenings. I used to leave for work at 07:45 but didn't go to bed earlier than that. I naturally wake up at 08:30ish. I don't need more than eight hours sleep!

I'm 42. Love getting in bed early- like 930pm, it's the first time I get to relax all day. I watch or listen to something. Sometimes I'm asleep before 10, othertimes not. I get up 6-630. Weekends slightly later but not much, I do parkrun on Saturday and a long run on Sunday. I have a friend who gets up a similar time to me but is never in bed before 12 and she doesn't cope well with it but won't change anything.

I'm a bed at 11pm up at 7am type, but 10pm is quite normal for a week night.
Id go to bed earlier but I dont eat dinner til 9pm so like some chill time before going to bed.