AIBU to wait before telling my separated husband I am pregnant?

Ok. Sorry then. People can still have sex without having a connection at other points though. A bit like fwb. I think OP means that they had lost their connection and weren't close but still had sex occasionally and obs it only needs once. I just don't think that all relationships are so cut and dried like you're having sex, it must be a relationship.
A good example is where people have affairs and still have sex with their dh/dw where they do that just not to raise suspicion(or they want their cake and eat it of course)
That's how I understood OPs post anyway.

If you are going to keep the baby thenin my opinion you need to tell him asap. Your baby needs an engaged father whether his or her parents live together or not

As you are married, and amicable, I think it would be reprehensible not to let him know ASAP.
He shouldn't be making decisions about his future without this knowledge.
I say that based on the assumption that you are keeping baby.
Congratulations!

It’s not but for some couples, it can be a catalyst and wake up call. OP won’t know unless they try, really try.

Of course you keep the wee one if you are ready for motherhood, and prepared to potentially do the majority alone if need be. Congratulations.

A baby is not a relationship plaster

Tell him now!! This could be the making of you both!

Do not tell him.
You can always tell him later but you can’t untell him and you need time to process it yourself.

You need to find out how far along you are and what your options are.
You say you’re separated and so it must have been a while since you last had sex and so perhaps it’s too late to get rid of it.

Telling him before he goes to America may come across like you’re using it as an excuse to keep him.

If it was me, I would encourage him to visit USA and have some space from each other.
I’d then book an appointment and find out how far along you are and if it’s even a viable pregnancy.

If it’s a viable pregnancy and you want to keep it, then I’d contact him and tell him the facts.
It would then be up to him about whether he wants to be involved etc.

I don’t understand you not wanting to tell him when he’s in America - why would it make a difference where he is?

Take time to seriously think about what YOU want.
Telling him will take that out of your hands.
Let him go to America if you need that time.

Do you want to raise a child together with him?
Would you re try the marriage because of a baby.
Do you actually want a baby?

You need to think hard about this before you say a word.
Not going ahead with the pregnancy could be huge drama if he knows, wants you to have it and starts telli g family etc.

Be very careful to think about what you want.

What age are you?
Were you hoping for a fresh start now without him?

A pregnancy and baby will make that a lot harder.

I think I would tell him, but encourage him to go to see his family as planned. Then you both get time apart to think it through.

You keep the baby if YOU want a child, regardless of his decision. You don’t have it to try to keep him in the uk, or be a you believe it will fix the relationship. A child if a lifetime commitment you need to be 100% behind.

You also don’t abort a wanted pregnancy just because the circumstances aren’t perfect, particularly if you wanted children but have doubts about your fertility. You would regret that forever.

If you really haven’t decided what to do then take the time you need to make up your mind. But if you’ve decided to keep the child (which to be honest it sounds like you have) then tell him as soon as possible. It’s not fair to let him do a huge international move without that information.

I think the first thing you need to do is decide if you want a baby, if you want to be a parent. If you do, then congratulations on your pregnancy and go from there.

The next thing to decide is if you want your marriage to work or end, regardless of the baby. If you don't, then decide what you want and how you see it working before you tell him you're pregnant. Babies aren't band aids for marriages that have already run their course; it's not fair to them and it usually just delays the inevitable. So decide what you honestly think is most likely to work for you and the babies father and be prepared to stand firm if you're done with the marriage.

I do think unfortunately that your thinking process is going to have to be quicker than you'd like because I do think you should tell him before he goes, especially if you think there's a chance he's considering making it permanent.

I think that you tell him ASAP tbh. And if you were never properly trying for a baby I don’t know why you thought that you were infertile.

Assuming the baby is his because you've only been separated for a couple of months ( and you have given no reason to suggest it isn't but this might be in his thoughts once he finds out,) .Do tell him when you have passed 12 weeks and face to face not in a text message, and in any event before he goes to visit his family .

Before you tell him get it clear in your mind what outcome you hope for as they may not align with his. Give him time to digest the news. He will have responsibilities in next 7 to 8 months ( assuming you plan to continue the pregnancy,) so he needs to know before he makes decision during his visit not to return.

Good luck I hope it works out for you.

Yes keep it. What wonderful news.

You need to tell him ASAP, especially if you want him back.

As an aside I've never fucked a housemate.

You both have huge decisions to make, but he needs to know, sooner rather than later. He may be planning to move to USA, this will have a bearing on his plans. Whatever the outcome for your relationship, you both deserve to be able to make informed decisions.

Yes you keep it if you want it

Would he make a good father? Would he want to be involved and coparent?

My Situation was different I told him the love of my life and he disappeared having wanted a baby when he happened by accident he just didn’t want it and hasn’t.

If he goes to the states you have to be clear that you are not taking the baby out to see him or letting the baby go for extended periods eg two week under the age of 5 he will have to come to the U.K.

I will get fired for this - but he doesn’t need to know until you have decided what you want. If you decide you don’t want it don’t tell him.

If you decide you want it be prepared he might only want the baby and no coparenting or he might want more - you have to decide what you want.

I think the longer you leave it the more likely he will think the baby isn’t his.

he could be making all sorts of plans in regards to America which will change things if you tell him at a much later time about the pregnancy.

They're no longer together, she isn't responsible for that.

Taking some time to let her shock subside is eminently sensible. She's not up against the Countdown clock! She has plenty of time to tell him even before he makes a permanent decision and doesn't need to do so immediately.

She's not asking whether to tell him at all, just if she takes a bit of time first.

There's going to be a whole heap of stuff to sort out and she doesn't need to be managing all that while getting over the shock.

Does he have US citizenship? It's wrong to allow him to start making big life decisions without knowing the biggest news.
I really think you have to tell him. How do you feel about the pregnancy though? If you are going ahead with the pregnancy( I am assuming based on your comments) then you need to tell him.

The longer she leaves it the more he will think it’s not his and/or there was someone else in the picture that caused the split

tell him asap.

Good idea.

how far along are you? If it was me I would get a scan and confirm it’s a viable pregnancy before I tell him

You wanted a baby but contracepted by using withdrawal? Then you thought you were infertile but carried on using withdrawal? You've been like housemates but still having sex? Am I the only one who is confused?
Regardless, how many weeks pregnant do you think you are? Do you have regular periods and can work it out? Of course you tell your husband immediately. It's not fair to him that he may make plans to relocate without knowing. If you still care for each other you can share the confusion and, sorry to mention it but it's real, the miscarriage risk at this early stage. (I am assuming you are very unlikely to have discovered beyond the first trimester.)
If your marriage is really over but you are friends and you both want the baby I suggest carrying on as housemates until you are through the very early baby stages as you will need, or at least benefit from, hands-on support. If things have not really changed in your relationship dynamic you can always co-parent from separate households a bit later down the line. Best separate before your child is beyond toddlerhood to make it easier on them to adjust. I know of successful, friendly co-parenting relationships - I hope it works out for you. It's sad your marriage is over but this is not a disaster. This could be the beginning of something very lovely for you both.