AIBU to spend money on our hobbies as parents of young children?

I wish we’d done this - we wrapped ourselves up in our kids and it’s not really done us or our marriage or our health any favours. You have a great balance and your kids are fine - enjoy!

Ok your mum is being "interesting". No one would begrudge since outside interests and keeping yourself fit and healthy is an excellent outlet.
I think they're are a certain type of a certain generation that jas a bit of internalised misogyny going on, that or very fixed ideas about roles or rules for life.
You sound like you're balancing your kids needs and yours and your husband's... Good on you

That money is an investment in your physical and mental wellbeing.
It will make you better parents.
And it's none of your mum's business.

To put it another way, you’re both working hard to keep fit and strong to keep up with your kids. I wholeheartedly agree with your approach - reduce consumption with second hand clothes and toys while making sure you prioritise mental and physical health so you can be there for your kids now and later.

Our biggest disposable expenditure all goes on sports various. DC are teens now and we get so much joy from competing together, and along the way they have done volunteering, coaching, and have learned how to get along with people much older and younger than themselves. DC1’s first paid work (at 14) is in one of our shared sports. Having disposable income for hobbies is a privilege, but is not selfish or wasteful compared to other types of spending. Enjoy!

Sounds like you have everything sorted and organised. 90 quid seems a bargain. Keep on doing what you are.

The joint cost of your hobbies is modest and happy, healthy parents are worth their weight in gold to kids. Stay as you are.

I think spending money on your health and wellbeing is very sensible and hopefully means you will be around for as long as possible to see your children grow up. It would be different if your were spending it on white lightening for a booze up 4times a week!

So many women give up sports in their early teens, you’re setting a brilliant example to your children by carrying yours on.

I think you’ve got this absolutely right / well done!

Stopped reading when the amount was stated, the reason why and the fact you can afford it. What u are doing makes total sense. Be less free with information about financial matters in future.

Keep up had hobbies. They are good for your fitness, mental health and your relationship too. Just because you’ve children, doesn’t mean you have to be tied to the house and your children. Interests and hobbies make for an interesting person. It’s great that yourself and your DH give one another the space and time for you both to go to your hobbies.

💯 you should have hobbies. It is important for you well being.

Sounds like you’ve got your priorities right to me. Clothes don’t need to be new and often charity shop stuff especially for kids is hardly worn. You’re both getting time to yourselves and keeping yourselves healthy physically and mentally.

£90 a month is not a lot to spend on a hobby. Taikwondo will improve both your physical and mental health and is also a valuable form of self defence. This will give you confidence to handle yourself in risky situations if they ever arise. Personally I am cynical of spending too much money on children's activities to the detriment of the parents. Children need to learn to occupy themselves and not be ferried passively from one "activity" to another.

provided your housing is stable, you have some safety net in your savings and you’re not asking your mum for money then you’re fine

Your mother is bonkers.
I think how you and your husband plan your lives is healthy and to be admired.
People don’t stop being themselves when children come along. Nor should they.
Hold on to yourself and your life. 👏🏻👏🏻

Oh, ignore your mum! You're doing nothing wrong, and everything right. You need to have hobbies and a life as well, otherwise your happiness will plummet and the quality of your family life along with it. It's not like your hobbies are unhealthy or excessive by any means. Keep going!

The way you are managing your lives sounds pretty damn perfect to me.

A good role model comes with alot of spirit.

As long as you aren’t moaning to your mum about money or especially asking her for help then it’s fine, kids don’t need anywhere near as much stuff as most have.

You have got this right. I have got 5, and clothes were always hand me downs, charity shop, (vinted wasn't a thing then, but would have been on there if it had have been). They never looked scruffy. The best thing about this was if someone spilt something on themselves, it wasn't ever a problem, we let them be kids. Toys were "a bit the same" until they all got close to teenage years, and then it DID get more expensive. You don't sound like you are enjoying yourselves hedonistically and endlessly at the cost of your children's welfare, with your once a month treat and your weekly activities, nor are you asking for someone to look after your kids while you do these things, you act as a team. Parents can be really careless about how they say things, they may have done it differently (or wish they could have if they had their time again) and ultimately it is out of love for their grandchildren rather than to "do you down". I think if I was in your shoes, I would try and move on from the comment. Going forward, either ignore any arch comments, or don't share some of your arrangements (which are more than fine btw xx).

It’s a great investment in your family’s health and happiness OP. Your mum is being ridiculous - tell her to mind her own.

You should 💯 do this. Excellent way to keep fit and do something for yourself. It’s too easy to completely lose yourself when you have small kids.

Your kids don’t need nicer clothes or toys - at those ages they won’t care if their stuff is second hand and they’ll outgrow it within weeks or months anyway.

They do benefit from having mentally and physically healthy parents so I think a very modest spend on your own activities is completely reasonable.

Your mum needs to butt out. You are people too and not just parents. Taking care of your health and hobbies is important. The kids are with their other parent all happy and safe, so there is no problem.