hospital and other children are at home and partner hasn't offered to help

You said the 17 yo watches the baby if you are bathing your other children. How old are ALL of your children and are they all at home with your 17 yo?

Of course he should be off work looking after his own baby. Why are you even waiting for him to offer? Tell him to go and look after his child.

As a pp asked, are either of the teenagers at home responsible and competent enough to know to feed and change the baby when needed?

Well he needs to leave work and come and collect his child. Absolutely mental that you are putting that responsibility onto a 17 year old child not the baby’s actual parent

Why didn't you tell him? "I have to go to hospital so you'll have to take the baby tonight"

And if the 7mo’s dad is no use, is the 11yo’s or the eldest’s dad or anyone responsible for the other children? Maybe there’s only 2 dads in the mix but even that means there should be more related adults in the mix to step in when emergencies happen as they do with kids.

Let me guess, as he doesn't live with you, he doesn't know what to do with his 7m old either?

You can’t leave a 7mo with your kids, even if one is a teenager. The baby needs to be with the dad or grandparents/aunts/other trusted friends or family. This isn’t about whether your boyfriend is working or should’ve offered or whatever. Whatever relationship issues and set up you have is secondary to the kids being safe and leaving the teenage son in charge is no kind of solution. The fact the baby’s dad doesn’t live with the baby is a big clue he’s not to be relied upon so you need reliable plans for this kind of situation. I’d be more worried about sorting safe childcare than anything else right now.

He's your baby's father and he went to work under the circumstances?

He'd be an EX partner immediately and I'd be filing a CMS claim pronto. What a horrible father and partner!

I hope your 11 year old is ok.
How is your eldest getting on? Can he change and feed the baby?

So the boyfriend is the father of the baby
He can look after the baby

You need to tell your useless bf to come and look after his child. How shite is he? Why have you expected your child to look after the baby and not baby’s own dad? You need to demand he parents his own child not just be disappointed he didn’t offer. What a useless shite he is

So the BF needs to come home & parent the baby. I assume that the BF isn't the father of the 11 yo. Where is that one's father?

How many children do you have? The child's dad needs to be stepping up.

I just don’t understand the situation, why are you waiting for the dad to ask about the baby? When you needed to take 11 year old to the hospital why didn’t you tell the dad he needed to come and get the baby?
You don’t live together but is he actually involved? Is this typical?

Right okay. Do you feel like they can do this? If DP needs to go home then call his work and tell him so.

There will be time for a conversation about being proactive and not just option out of emergencies, but that can happen another day. For now call and tell him that his kid needs looking after, that your eldest isn't experienced enough to do a whole night. He needs to leave work.

I’m going to strongly disagree about leaving any minor child alone in the hospital. You need to keep an advocate with your child if at all possible. Only leave if all other options are exhausted.

Is bf the childrens Dad? If so yanbu. If not, hard as it is its not his responsibility especially if he is at work with bills to pay. How long have you been together? If your eldest is an adult he probably thinks the situation is under control. Did you ask him to help? Is there anyone else who can support you? Its a difficult situation but I think if you havent already you need to tell him what you need.

If the baby is your boyfriend’s child, you don’t wait for him to offer. You call him up and tell him that he is on parenting duty indefinitely.

if he is not the father, he doesn’t need to be your babysitter.

Unless the 11 year old is seriously ill you should go home . You can't leave a 7 month old with your other child unless he's 18 or over and very capable . Is the baby your BFs ch I ld ? If so he should be at home, if not it's too much to expect him to leave work to babysit .

Who is the responsible adult looking after the children at the moment?
Where is the children's father?

How many children are there and how old are they?

How seriously ill is the 11yo?

Which child belongs to who?

Who is looking after the baby?

If your eldest is a responsible 21 year old then that's one thing, I'm really hoping you've not left a baby home with a young teen.

Why didn't you call him and immediately tell him he needed to get over to his baby? Unless it's not his baby in which case what other adults are available?