hospital and other children are at home and partner hasn't offered to help

Any friends you can call on OP? I’m not sure about a 17 year old looking after so many children including a young baby. Feels risky to me.

Op does your BF think the two 17 year olds can cope?

Its dead easy on MN for people to say someone should loose a shift off work. Can your DP AFFORD to loose a shift of work?

You post all the time about this hopeless relationship

How good a sleeper is the baby? Tbh my middle DD could have cared for a baby at 14. Unless your 17 year old says he isn't coping, it's fine. I think your boyfriend has badly let you down and his baby. Can your boyfriend get there in the morning? Are they setting you up a bed so you can get some sleep? You need to not let him make excuses. He needs to step up.

we have no family its just us i left to to go to the hospital because i was panicking and told him onthe way but he just said “hopefully ds(11yo) is okay” and then changed the subject about a house which ive already said no to i dont think us living together is the right time my 11yo is having enough change with new school and i just dont want to live with him right now tbh

If you move in with this pathetic excuse for a man, you’ll regret it. He’s so uninterested in being part of a family he hasn’t even asked where his own child is? And that’s all he can say when his girlfriend’s child is being rushed into hospital? Hopefully he’ll be ok, what do you think about this house I found for us? How do you think that’s going to work when he’s living with you? He’s unlikely to suddenly turn into father of the year now, is he? What the fuck is this pathetic excuse for a man bringing to the table? It’s not making your life easier and he clearly doesn’t give a shit about his own child, let alone yours, so I can only assume his penis is made of gold and he’s keeping you in Chanel handbags, because he doesn’t sound like he’s fit to be a partner.

Why are you using the word "partner" to describe someone who doesn't give a shit about you or about his child? You are not in any kind of partnership with him. At best he's a casual boyfriend. Realistically he should be an ex. Get him out of your life. His uncaring attitude will harm your children.

Your BF actually knew you had to be in the hospital with the 11 year old? I can't fathom a father who would go into work instead of looking after his baby when there was no adult around to do it. I'd be calling his work and telling him to leave to look after the baby and get his priorities straight.

I hope everything works out for you, OP. While it doesn't sound like it was ever an ideal situation, it must be a shock to realise he's this uninvested in you and your baby.

You need to say ‘you need to come and look after your baby, and skip work.’
if he won’t I’d never ever want to se him again.

I am so sorry, your boyfriend is a complete shit to not be there for baby whentiu ate at the hosital. Just awful.

Age and capability dependant. When my son was hospitalized I couldn't even pee without someone being there because he's trying to do something dangerous, or he'd freak out from anxiety. There were other parents on the ward able to go shower, make a cup of tea and leave their child with a play worker or nurse, even toddlers. I remember being in awe.

There was a little girl last time he was in about 7 and apart from a visit on the way to school drop offs she was alone all day. It was so sad.

Please don't let your 17yo be in charge of a baby & 5yo. That's a lot to ask for, especially when there is another parent available.
Do the decent thing and either got home and sort your DC out or get your so called boyfriend to do so.

Honestly, I would leave the 11yo for a few hours. It's nighttime, he should rest/ sleep. Nothing major is going to happen. The staff are knowledgeable and able to look after hin for a short time.

It's totally fair to be mad at your partner for not taking responsibility for his child or indeed offering to help you by also looking after the other kids

agree with others that you should ring him and tell him he needs to leave work to look after the baby - you shouldn't have to spell it out but at this point he's not suddenly going to catch on

I hope your 11 year old is doing okay

Nonsense. They've only just gone into hospital which means they likely don't know what is wrong, may possibly be taking actions tonight that need parental consent, the 11 is likely to be scared. The "children" looking after baby are old enough to his parents so whisky it's utterly shit and I think the babys father is being an absolute dick, the baby isn't in actual danger. They have Google, worse case scenario. They'll manage for tonight

Your 17 year old sounds like a massive credit to you. You do really need to advocate for all your kids though by demanding that the person who calls you his partner acts like he’s part of a partnership instead of expecting another child to care for his baby.

I do, my eldest has been hospitalized several times when youngest was a baby and I'd have been absolutely snookered if my husband hadn't been there with the baby. My heart goes out to op. There's no good answer though because even if he takes care of his baby there's a 5 yr old too.

Op where's the dads of the other kids? Could the 5 yr old go to HIS day for the night?

That's simply not true.

You need to ring your bf and tell him to come and look after the baby.

You shouldn't need to but you should have said very clearly "I'm going to the hospital, you need to have baby overnight, call work and tell them it's a medical emergency".
What time does he finish? I'd also be tempted to call work and pass a message on that y o u won't be coming home so he needs to leave to look after the baby. So frikkin what if he's humiliated.

Call your BF and tell him that he needs to leave work to care for his baby.

You must stay with your 11 yo. Your 17 yo has his hands full with the other 2. Your 5 yo should be in bed by now and hopefully your 14 yo is behaving himself to help the 17 yo.

where are all these kids dads? They need to take charge of their kids now. It is not the responsibility of a 17 year old to be doing any of this. They did not make or choose to have all these kids

I’ve no idea what that means. Clearly I mean a proper adult with childcare experience who knows how to care for a baby. A 17yo can’t and shouldn’t have to look after a baby and the rest of this brood whether you pay them or not. Im shocked that anyone thinks it’s fine to leave so many kids in that entirely foreseeable situation.

This isn’t some freak misfortune. There are plenty of chances for one of these kids to need to be accompanied somewhere urgently by a parent and for another adult to step in. For the OP to frame this as if it’s some minor cause to moan about her boyfriend not offering is mad. If you truly have no one else, then all the more reason to be direct and tell this dick to get to your house now and be the adult in charge. Or call an agency, whether paid pro or social care. It’s not about bunging tenners to teenagers.

I don't think people on this thread understand how traumatic a hospital stay would be for an autistic child who usually suffers massively with changes of routine and anxiety. If it is an option I would have brought the baby with you or told your bf he has to look after his child.

Don’t ask him or beat around the bush. Tell him.