Page 5 | hospital and other children are at home and partner hasn't offered to help

dinosaursroars · 2026-08-22T20:57:49+00:00

currently in hospital with 11 year old ds and were probably going to be staying overnight at home are my other children including my 7 month old with my eldest and his friend my bf doesnt live with us he works shifts and is working g tonight but he knew before he started work and didnt tell them he couldnt go in or ask where baby was im exhausted and have felt unwell myself for over a week and just exhausted so i may be just wrong for feeling like this but am I wrong to be annoying he didn't ask or offer to go to mine to look after the children or just help in sine way

pinkdelight · 23/08/2026 07:20

ChorizoDog · 23/08/2026 03:32

This thread is awful. Why does it matter how many Dads there are.

Why is everyone up in arms about 2 x 17 year olds babysitting? They’re 17, they could have their own baby. One child is 14, not exactly needing supervision and can help with the other kids.

Also, who are these people that would leave any 11 year old alone in a hospital alone without being actually being admitted yet? Would you honestly just leave your child sitting in A&E? Have you been there on a Saturday night?

It matters when there are 5 children from various dads not one of whom will help with any of her kids when she’s in need like this. The current ‘partner’ thinks the 17yo son is qualified to care for 3 other kids including a baby because he got pissed last night. Ffs. It’s not the thread that’s awful, it’s the situation and people are rightly appalled by the OP accepting this shit from her shit boyfriend, which is no doubt the pattern that has created the situation where there’s no one to care for 4 children alone overnight except a hungover teen (who’s one of said children) and his mate. It’s a shitshow even without the current crisis, and if she stays with this prince after last night or picks up another one, it will never end.

Millytante · 23/08/2026 07:17

Pinkchickenwine · 23/08/2026 06:54

Can you get vitamin injections and suchlike on the NHS? Subsidised health boosters like cod liver oil, or even that gloopy malt extract we oldies were reared on? Stuff which gives your constitution extra support. (Maybe just talkingto your GP would be enough to reset your dials a little, give you a moment to exhale.)

Not sure about the above, but contraception is free!

You”re taking to OP like she didn’t have a choice about having five children…… she chose to!

So she can shop, buy, prepare, cook the shepherds pie! Whilst the teenager can go out during the weekend, not be a 24 hour babysitter!

As for the DFs clubbing together to hat a nanny! What planet are you on??

Show quote history

Clearly (or not, I suppose) that suggestion was not serious at all, mere wishful thinking.

Isthisit22 · 23/08/2026 07:16

I hope your children are okay but please stop having babies!

McSpoot · 23/08/2026 07:07

Pinkchickenwine · 23/08/2026 06:54

Can you get vitamin injections and suchlike on the NHS? Subsidised health boosters like cod liver oil, or even that gloopy malt extract we oldies were reared on? Stuff which gives your constitution extra support. (Maybe just talkingto your GP would be enough to reset your dials a little, give you a moment to exhale.)

Not sure about the above, but contraception is free!

You”re taking to OP like she didn’t have a choice about having five children…… she chose to!

So she can shop, buy, prepare, cook the shepherds pie! Whilst the teenager can go out during the weekend, not be a 24 hour babysitter!

As for the DFs clubbing together to hat a nanny! What planet are you on??

Show quote history

I think, from other posts, that some of the fathers are involved but/and I agree that the suggestion that they join together to get her a nanny is not going to happen - it isn't the father(s) of the older kids fault/responsibility that the OP decided to keep having more children.

Lexibletheflexible · 23/08/2026 06:59

dinosaursroars · 22/08/2026 23:11

my other children are 14 and 5 and theyre home with eldest too.

ds sent me a picture about an hour ago and baby was also on him and he said 5year old was awake but had agreed to go to bed after he had finished his film but he’s usually a fight to get to sleep because he constantly gets up and says he isn’t tired etc hopefully he’ll be easier to get to sleep with it being his terms

i’ve not said i dont want bf looking after baby where have i said that? i’m posting because im upset he chose work over our baby and yes hes not my older children’s dad but i thought he’d be willing to help especially with the talk of him saying he wants us to get a bigger place together e

I think he brought up living together so he could be there for things like this. You dont want to live with him, but want him to help you look after your kids (the older ones).

If this was a man who jad a baby with me but refused to live with me, I'd break up with them and we would have official days where we each had our baby. I wouldn't be coming over to look after the baby because he has issues with his older kids.

If you want him to be your partner, let him be your partner. If you want to be platonic. co-parents, stay as you are.

CarrieOakie · 23/08/2026 06:55

How are things this morning?

your bf has given you a great reason not to live together, he can’t step up and be a father to the baby when you needed him - so absolutely not a family oriented person to live with

fancy ringing to say I need help I’m so n my way to hospital with my child and he changes the subject- totally inappropriate. Shows just how selfish he is and not someone to be sharing a home as he will take take take

Pinkchickenwine · 23/08/2026 06:54

Millytante · 23/08/2026 06:14

Mother of God. What brainfreeze encouraged you to have a baby with this black hole of a boyfriend, when you already have a houseful of other children needing your attention?
I hope your lad in hospital is doing ok, and the cause of the problem has been identified.
I cant imagine how you cope, day after day. Do look after your own health, you poor woman. You're exhausted (and that'd not be surprising even were the baby your only concern) and you need firmer support than whatever an unknown teenage girl might offer in an emergency.

Doing all you do alone is a high wire act, and the stress of it will make you ill,
Can you get vitamin injections and suchlike on the NHS? Subsidised health boosters like cod liver oil, or even that gloopy malt extract we oldies were reared on? Stuff which gives your constitution extra support. (Maybe just talking to your GP would be enough to reset your dials a little, give you a moment to exhale.)

But the fathers of your young family would do well to club together and pay for an au pair cum nanny, given their own lack of interest in their children’s lives. Seriously though, are you aware of any assistance out there which you might possibly access? It can’t be right that you have to battle on every day in such precarious circs.
I know I’m just rambling pointlessly here, but still.
Take care of yourself, and I hope things ease up for you soon and permit you to enjoy your new baby, and not have to be worrying about your 11-year old lad so much. (He might well be eligible for significant support. Investigate asap!)
Get some sleep and decent nourishment (a feed of shepherd’s pie can work wonders! Easy dish for a teenager to assemble)

Show quote history

Can you get vitamin injections and suchlike on the NHS? Subsidised health boosters like cod liver oil, or even that gloopy malt extract we oldies were reared on? Stuff which gives your constitution extra support. (Maybe just talkingto your GP would be enough to reset your dials a little, give you a moment to exhale.)

Not sure about the above, but contraception is free!

You”re taking to OP like she didn’t have a choice about having five children…… she chose to!

So she can shop, buy, prepare, cook the shepherds pie! Whilst the teenager can go out during the weekend, not be a 24 hour babysitter!

As for the DFs clubbing together to hat a nanny! What planet are you on??

Anon501178 · 23/08/2026 06:51

Surely the hospital can get a cot put in your room so baby can be with you??

A hungover 17yo with little experience of babies is not suitable to be caring for one, especially alongside a 5yo.Both ages are challenging enough for 2 parents at once not a young teen on his own with a friend (how much does she know about babies?!)

AndImVictoriaMalcolm · 23/08/2026 06:47

Millytante · 23/08/2026 06:14

Mother of God. What brainfreeze encouraged you to have a baby with this black hole of a boyfriend, when you already have a houseful of other children needing your attention?
I hope your lad in hospital is doing ok, and the cause of the problem has been identified.
I cant imagine how you cope, day after day. Do look after your own health, you poor woman. You're exhausted (and that'd not be surprising even were the baby your only concern) and you need firmer support than whatever an unknown teenage girl might offer in an emergency.

Doing all you do alone is a high wire act, and the stress of it will make you ill,
Can you get vitamin injections and suchlike on the NHS? Subsidised health boosters like cod liver oil, or even that gloopy malt extract we oldies were reared on? Stuff which gives your constitution extra support. (Maybe just talking to your GP would be enough to reset your dials a little, give you a moment to exhale.)

But the fathers of your young family would do well to club together and pay for an au pair cum nanny, given their own lack of interest in their children’s lives. Seriously though, are you aware of any assistance out there which you might possibly access? It can’t be right that you have to battle on every day in such precarious circs.
I know I’m just rambling pointlessly here, but still.
Take care of yourself, and I hope things ease up for you soon and permit you to enjoy your new baby, and not have to be worrying about your 11-year old lad so much. (He might well be eligible for significant support. Investigate asap!)
Get some sleep and decent nourishment (a feed of shepherd’s pie can work wonders! Easy dish for a teenager to assemble)

Show quote history

The 17 year old is doing a cracking job already, taking care of a young baby, a 5 year old and a younger teenager. If anyone should be “assembling” a bloody shepherds pie it should be the mum’s boyfriend. It’s literally the least he could do at this point.

Mulledjuice · 23/08/2026 06:45

Has your BF ever looked after his baby overnight?

Sorry just seen there he hasnt looked after him overnight before.

I hope everyone is ok and agree your BF needs to come over after his shift so you can get some sleep

Pinkchickenwine · 23/08/2026 06:42

AmberPeaches · 23/08/2026 06:42

This! Why do you keep having children with feckless men?

And why doesn’t the baby’s father live with you? Oh wait, you get more benefits that way…..

This all sounds chaotic and toxic on many levels. Do you have Social Services involvement?

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It’s five children…. 🤷‍♀️

AmberPeaches · 23/08/2026 06:42

Pansykavalier · 23/08/2026 04:00

So you have FOUR children with fathers - plural - who have no interest in parenting?

Do I sound judgemental… Yes, with good reason.

ETA… there may actually be 5 children. Easy to get confused amongst the chaos…

Edited

This! Why do you keep having children with feckless men?

And why doesn’t the baby’s father live with you? Oh wait, you get more benefits that way…..

This all sounds chaotic and toxic on many levels. Do you have Social Services involvement?

Pinkchickenwine · 23/08/2026 06:42

DressOrSkirt · 23/08/2026 02:01

It would have been nice if he offered, but when he didn't you should have told him he needed to look after his baby instead of leaving the baby with a 17 year old, also looks after 2 other children.

This!

You don’t wait for an offer, you just say get over here as I need to leave for the hospital.

AndImVictoriaMalcolm · 23/08/2026 06:40

dinosaursroars · 22/08/2026 23:11

my other children are 14 and 5 and theyre home with eldest too.

ds sent me a picture about an hour ago and baby was also on him and he said 5year old was awake but had agreed to go to bed after he had finished his film but he’s usually a fight to get to sleep because he constantly gets up and says he isn’t tired etc hopefully he’ll be easier to get to sleep with it being his terms

i’ve not said i dont want bf looking after baby where have i said that? i’m posting because im upset he chose work over our baby and yes hes not my older children’s dad but i thought he’d be willing to help especially with the talk of him saying he wants us to get a bigger place together e

Firstly, I really hope you and your 11 year old can leave hospital soon.

Has your boyfriend refused to step in and take care of the baby? Or has it simply not occurred to him? Both are equally bad imo and I really hope you re-examine this relationship and for the sake of you and all
of your kids don’t move in with him/let him move in with you. You and him need to be a team and he’s failed- really badly- straight out of the gate.

HewasH2O · 23/08/2026 06:40

Presumably a key reason why the OP isn't living with any of the fathers, including the latest boyfriend, is because that would reduce the UC she is receiving to top up her wages from her job in a school & quite possibly affect her current housing status.

@dinosaursroars I hope your 11 yo has calmed down and hasn't had anymore seizures & your 17 yo has had a quiet night once your others settled down. Your BF needs to step up at the end of his shift & takes over the childcare until you are able to get home & have had some sleep yourself.

Yogaandchocolate · 23/08/2026 06:32

Millytante · 23/08/2026 06:14

Mother of God. What brainfreeze encouraged you to have a baby with this black hole of a boyfriend, when you already have a houseful of other children needing your attention?
I hope your lad in hospital is doing ok, and the cause of the problem has been identified.
I cant imagine how you cope, day after day. Do look after your own health, you poor woman. You're exhausted (and that'd not be surprising even were the baby your only concern) and you need firmer support than whatever an unknown teenage girl might offer in an emergency.

Doing all you do alone is a high wire act, and the stress of it will make you ill,
Can you get vitamin injections and suchlike on the NHS? Subsidised health boosters like cod liver oil, or even that gloopy malt extract we oldies were reared on? Stuff which gives your constitution extra support. (Maybe just talking to your GP would be enough to reset your dials a little, give you a moment to exhale.)

But the fathers of your young family would do well to club together and pay for an au pair cum nanny, given their own lack of interest in their children’s lives. Seriously though, are you aware of any assistance out there which you might possibly access? It can’t be right that you have to battle on every day in such precarious circs.
I know I’m just rambling pointlessly here, but still.
Take care of yourself, and I hope things ease up for you soon and permit you to enjoy your new baby, and not have to be worrying about your 11-year old lad so much. (He might well be eligible for significant support. Investigate asap!)
Get some sleep and decent nourishment (a feed of shepherd’s pie can work wonders! Easy dish for a teenager to assemble)

Show quote history

The 17 year old is already looking after a 5 year old and baby, as well as possibly worrying about his brother who is in hospital. I don’t think it should be on him to make a shepherds pie as well!

Millytante · 23/08/2026 06:14

dinosaursroars · 22/08/2026 22:46

I cant leave ds on his own in hospital hes autistic and being in hospital is distressing enough he keeps saying he wants to go home and getting upset that he cant hispitsl have been good and he has a side room hut the doctors dont know what is wrong with him lhe had a weird seizure type thing which he’s never had before and before that he was complaining of belly pain

we have no family its just us i left to to go to the hospital because i was panicking and told him onthe way but he just said “hopefully ds(11yo) is okay” and then changed the subject about a house which ive already said no to i dont think us living together is the right time my 11yo is having enough change with new school and i just dont want to live with him right now tbh

but it feels he’s trying to wear me down he lent me money for my eldests birthday and i just feel he thinks i owe him or something i dont know

he looks after baby overnight when he stays over but hes never had baby on his own i wanted him to in a couple of weeks when my other children are back at school so i can do something with my eldest to celebrate his birthday even tho itll be late just me and him and bf said of course but is it just words

Mother of God. What brainfreeze encouraged you to have a baby with this black hole of a boyfriend, when you already have a houseful of other children needing your attention?
I hope your lad in hospital is doing ok, and the cause of the problem has been identified.
I cant imagine how you cope, day after day. Do look after your own health, you poor woman. You're exhausted (and that'd not be surprising even were the baby your only concern) and you need firmer support than whatever an unknown teenage girl might offer in an emergency.

Doing all you do alone is a high wire act, and the stress of it will make you ill,
Can you get vitamin injections and suchlike on the NHS? Subsidised health boosters like cod liver oil, or even that gloopy malt extract we oldies were reared on? Stuff which gives your constitution extra support. (Maybe just talking to your GP would be enough to reset your dials a little, give you a moment to exhale.)

But the fathers of your young family would do well to club together and pay for an au pair cum nanny, given their own lack of interest in their children’s lives. Seriously though, are you aware of any assistance out there which you might possibly access? It can’t be right that you have to battle on every day in such precarious circs.
I know I’m just rambling pointlessly here, but still.
Take care of yourself, and I hope things ease up for you soon and permit you to enjoy your new baby, and not have to be worrying about your 11-year old lad so much. (He might well be eligible for significant support. Investigate asap!)
Get some sleep and decent nourishment (a feed of shepherd’s pie can work wonders! Easy dish for a teenager to assemble)

AgnesMcDoo · 23/08/2026 06:06

If he’s not going to step up and look after his child in this situation then he’s never going to do it.

What a complete arsehole.

Pansykavalier · 23/08/2026 04:00

So you have FOUR children with fathers - plural - who have no interest in parenting?

Do I sound judgemental… Yes, with good reason.

ETA… there may actually be 5 children. Easy to get confused amongst the chaos…

ChorizoDog · 23/08/2026 03:32

This thread is awful. Why does it matter how many Dads there are.

Why is everyone up in arms about 2 x 17 year olds babysitting? They’re 17, they could have their own baby. One child is 14, not exactly needing supervision and can help with the other kids.

Also, who are these people that would leave any 11 year old alone in a hospital alone without being actually being admitted yet? Would you honestly just leave your child sitting in A&E? Have you been there on a Saturday night?

McSpoot · 23/08/2026 03:01

2O26 · 23/08/2026 02:59

Thanks for correcting that. It's funny, I came up with 4 children but has this nagging feeling I was missing something. Duh! The 11 year old -so 5 children.

Edited

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The posts (and poster) are confusing and chaotic so this easy to get confused (the OP has posted a few times before and always drama and chaos).

2O26 · 23/08/2026 02:59

McSpoot · 23/08/2026 02:23

You forgot the 11-year-old.

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Thanks for correcting that. It's funny, I came up with 4 children but has this nagging feeling I was missing something. Duh! The 11 year old -so 5 children.

babyproblems · 23/08/2026 02:48

Dad either needs to collect baby or you go home and collect baby… or if you have a child minder they could also step in

McSpoot · 23/08/2026 02:23

2O26 · 23/08/2026 01:36

OP said she has no family (not sure if that includes ex's though) and has 4 children (ages 5, 14, 17 years and the 7 month old baby).

Edited

Show quote history

You forgot the 11-year-old.

DressOrSkirt · 23/08/2026 02:01

It would have been nice if he offered, but when he didn't you should have told him he needed to look after his baby instead of leaving the baby with a 17 year old, also looks after 2 other children.