hospital and other children are at home and partner hasn't offered to help

The child wasn’t in a ward last night and may or may not be admitted.
Leaving a child overnight on the ward is very different to leaving an autistic 11 year old in ED who might actually be sent home at any time.

3 younger siblings incl a 5yo and a 7mo. You can minimise all you like but the current boyfriend’s comment about the (only just) 17yo being fine to take his place parenting because the kid was out getting drunk last night says it all, and if that doesn’t make you think SS needs to step in, then the problem isn’t everyone else. OP herself says she has no one, and she won’t either make the current shit guy step up nor dump his sorry ass.

So yes, something does need to be done before something (else) goes wrong. If anything happened to that baby, I bet you’d be the first one saying ‘why did no one do anything?’. And it’s not about sleeping with more than one guy. Clearly the current guy was not a capable father as even the OP didn’t want to live with him and she had her hands more than full already with 4 kids and severe SEN in the mix and ‘no one’ else around to support including the dads. To say no more kids (or feckless men) should be added to this situation is basic common sense.

5 if you include the boyfriend
When are women going to stop making their lives more awkward and complicated by having more children than they can handle?

Since when? I was a single parent. My eldest had long hospital stays. I had to leave him to take his siblings to school, put them to bed etc. is this a new thing?

op your partner is no partner. You need to kick him to the kerb.

You hope social services get involved because an older teenager babysat their two younger siblings one time in a moment of crisis because the mother rushed her SEN 11 year old to the hospital after a seizer? For what purpose?

People are really letting their judgment of a woman who has dared to sleep with more than one man run severely away with them.

Tell your baby’s father to look after his own baby ffs.

Sorry, I messed up and quoted the wrong person. I meant to quote @2O26 who said that they thought that the inadequate person was the 17-year-old. I do agree with you.

I thinkI ^was referring to the OP's comment about the 17-year-old not being equipped to look after the baby.^
OP said: "my eldest was 17 yesterday and his friend is 17 i think she’s 18 soon. hes not used to looking after the baby because i dont ask that of him especially not overnight either the most i ask is he watches baby if im bathing my other children and baby is still awake on the living room for example".

What a shit show

I hope SS get involved

And @dinosaursroars ditch the "men" in your life and raise your bloody standards.

I cant quite get my head round this. And im a single parent.
You have left a just 17yr old looking after a 14,5 and 7m old?
The father (i use the word loosely) is refusing to look after his baby?
Where are all the other fathers?
Im trying very hard not to judge here. 5 children? How many non present fathers? Maybe stop having children now.
What a mess. Your poor 17yr old. Thats a lot if responsibility. Is there no other family or friends to help?

Yes and I'll repeat more clearly. I agree with the poster I quoted.

I can't believe anyone suggested the 3 teenagers, looking after a baby and a 5 year old, even start trying to assemble a shepherds pie.

I'm much older than them and never assembled one in my lifetime. I wouldn't have a clue where to start.

The teens are doing fab if they manage food for themselves and the little ones with instructions on the packet.

OP, I hope your 11 year old is ok and the hospital can get to the bottom of what is wrong.

I only have 2 children but both are disabled and both spent years in and out of hospital so I know what a stressful juggling act it can be; we don’t have so many kids but getting care for a disabled child is really tough so I understand pretty well.

But, this situation is atrocious. I would have been giving the boyfriend an ultimatum - if he wants to be a dad and a partner then he doesn’t go to work and he steps up and looks after his baby! Mine has had to have lots of time off work due to one or the other being hospitalised and it sucks but it’s life. He’s far from perfect but would never go to work and leave his baby in the care of a teenager who’s also trying to care for numerous other children - no bloody way.

If your 11yo has to stay in any longer I would talk to the hospital to see if baby could come and stay with you especially as you’re in a side room. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they involved SS if they learned about the teen struggling to look after all these kids. And you still probably need someone else to care for your 5yo even if you do take baby. Is there a nanny agency or similar who could provide emergency care if you have no friends or family who could help? Or even a kind neighbour - one of ours has stepped in before with no notice when we’ve been really stuck?

Are none of their dads involved?

I agree, how depressing.

No, based on what was quoted (that she responded to), the 17-year-old should make the sheppard's pie because the BF (who the PP pointed should be the one, if anyone, to do it), is inadequate.

But apparently, it was all a joke anyway.

Why did you leave the 7 month old in the first place? They could have come with you and slept in the pushchair.

I can't believe anyone suggested the shepherds pie, having never assembled one in my lifetime.

I'd thing the teens are doing fabulous if they manage to do a jar of baby food and fish fingers or burgers (stuff that comes with instructions)

I thinkI @Millytantewas referring to the OP's comment about the 17-year-old not being equipped to look after the baby.

OP said: "my eldest was 17 yesterday and his friend is 17 i think she’s 18 soon. hes not used to looking after the baby because i dont ask that of him especially not overnight either the most i ask is he watches baby if im bathing my other children and baby is still awake on the living room for example".

He clearly doesn't see the baby as his responsibility but you havent mentioned the baby so he has assumed that it's all sorted. He sould have asked but i bet he would have said "i cant ive got work". Tbh it sounds exactly how my ex would be now or even when we were together. Unfortunately you have one of those that needs to be told what their responsibility is and prepare to be disappointed... you need to spell it out what you need over next few days. I hope he steps up and child is ok

Some posters have been incredibly unkind on this post.

Do you really have to kick someone when they are down? OP wasnt asking for advice on her ex partners, how many children she has, benefits or contraception. She is in hospital with a sick child, worrying about her other children and asking what to do about this specific situation. Stop trying to make people feel shit when they are already having a hard time.

Essentially you're a single mum and need to start acting as such because waiting around for this loser to step up is a waste of time and energy. Do you have any family, or friends in a similar position who might be able to help you?

No there doesn’t.

What does that post even mean?

Setting aside how badly your boyfriend is treating you in this relationship, he’s a rubbish father if when the primary carer is unavailable (which of course you are) he’d rather have a 17 year old look after his baby than him.

I hope your son is ok.

Hopefully once out of hospital this helps you realise you need to come up with a plan for what happens in an emergency. Leaving the 17 year old in charge of all the other children is quite a task, especially as you say the 5 year old isn't good at settling and then there is the baby.

You need to sort out the babies father having him more and being more involved.

It sounds like they are all muddling through. Do they know what safe sleep is? How to feed the baby? Changing a nappy?
While some 17 year olds might be switched on/helpful not all are. Plus in this case it seems a 17 year old is being seen as more trustworthy than the babies dad.

I think maybe you needed to let the hospital know you had left the baby at home with other children and returned to get the baby.

Can't the 11 year old's father stay in hospital with him and you look after the baby/other children, this would make more sense. Assuming their father is involved, it isn't clear how many father's your 5 children have?

Quite agree but I discounted him in account of his inadequacy